Stepping Off Now is a podcast about how to live your creative best life. I’m Kendra, a social scientist and writer. I spent decades feeling creatively unfulfilled while I pursued conventional life goals, culminating in severe burnout that took years to recover from. This podcast chronicles my journey in real time as I find my way home to my essential creative self. I discuss topics like harnessing the intuitive creative process, using creativity to manage mental health, and sorting through a ...
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Delightful Dissent is a live-recorded oddcast about challenging assumptions. You can find upcoming episode livestreams, and past recordings, at https://www.matthewbellringer.com/delightful-dissent.
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With novel #1 winding its way toward publication (hopefully), I have officially begun work on novel #2...and I've realized I will have to approach writing it in an entirely different way. Not only that, I'm going to have to use a technique I have utterly failed at in the past: preplanning the plot. Simply put, I suck at plot. It was the last thing …
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I'm not really sure how to summarize this episode, y'all...but you'll want to listen! Contact mePor Kendra Patterson
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Sometimes it can be difficult to see how our own societies and cultures influence us. I have this trick I use to help reveal some of those hidden influences that I call the OG Society Thought Experiment. I imagine how a small pre-capitalist "original society" would have functioned and compare that to my modern capitalist society. Today I use this t…
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In this episode I take stock of where I am in my creative journey as I contemplate what lies beyond the dreams we hold for ourselves. Are dreams holding us back? Do they ultimately make our lives less happy and satisfying? W.H. Auden's poem, The More Loving One Contact mePor Kendra Patterson
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Notice: The Kishōtenketsu Workshop I am doing with Andy Mort is coming up next week! You can find more info and sign up a this link. In this episode I discuss two women I've learned about recently who are lights in the dark for me. They inspire me to keep going through tough times, and to not lose hope. Table tennis phenom Zhiying Zeng, who is maki…
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I recently discovered a notebook filled with poetry I wrote thirty (!) years ago, and in one fell swoop it reconfigured my understanding of myself as an artist. In this episode I contemplate the threads that define who we are as artists that weave their way through our lifelong body of work (creative or otherwise). And I read one of those thirty-ye…
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In summer I like to mix it up on this podcast, so I decided to share some of my short stories. "The Trash House" is a women-centered retooling of the Japanese Kitsune (fox) folklore. Enjoy!Por Kendra Patterson
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Last episode I discussed the "conflict free" Japanese Kishotenketsu storytelling framework as a gentler alternative to the Western-style Hero's Journey. In this one I contrast the two as lenses through which we can interpret our creative lives. The Hero's Journey, though it may make for compelling entertainment, can be toxic when used as a way of u…
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I'm dealing with some personal life stuff right now and so dug into my Patreon archive for an episode for you all today! In this one I discuss the Japanese (and more broadly Asian) narrative structure called Kishotenketsu. This is generally seen as being a low-conflict or even conflict-free form of narrative, and it's a balm to the soul for those o…
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Last week I made the trek down to Tampa to attend a writer's conference and live pitch my novel to two agents! This type of experience can be overwhelming for creatives who are highly sensitive or have other types of sensory processing conditions--or for those who struggle with anxiety and/or mental health challenges. In this episode I discuss all …
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E142. Handling Rejection Sensitivity for Neurodiverse and Highly Sensitive Creatives
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Rejection sensitivity is one of the primary challenges neurodiverse and highly sensitive creatives face in reaching for their dreams. It can cause us to isolate, not seek out opportunities to share or showcase our work, or even keep us from doing creative work in the first place. If we do put ourselves out there, we risk severe mental health conseq…
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This episode begins with an update on my preparations for the writers' conference I'm attending in Tampa on April 12. You can skip ahead to the 10:36 mark for the topical discussion. We're often counseled to follow our own vision or intuition in our creative work, but what does that actually look like in practice? How do you do it? In this episode …
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At loooooooong last, I am (nearly! almost!) ready to start querying my novel to agents, so I decided it was the right time to do an update episode on where things stand and my plans going forward. I touch on topics such as what it feels like to be done, preparing for querying, and finding opportunities for professionalization as a prospective autho…
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Most timelines of the creative process depict it as linear and progressive, an "up and to the right" trajectory (like on a graph). But what I am finding in the final stretch of writing my novel, though, that this phase is entirely different from every part of the process that came before. Nothing about how I'm working as I struggle toward that fini…
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My sister is a competitive cyclist, and we enjoy discussing the similarities between athletic practice and creative practice. The other day she was telling me about how she and the cyclists she coaches recognize, treat, and recover from physical injuries. It made me wonder: can creatives and artists suffer from injuries, too? If so, how do we recog…
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I credit my creative practice with helping me recover from my life-altering burnout at the end of my PhD. I've maintained from the beginning (and often talked about in this podcast) that creative work should feel good most of the time. For many years I've been gentle and compassionate with myself in both my creative practice and life, never pushing…
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Have you ever noticed that successful artists' backstories often sound like destined paths or hero's journeys? Learning how to tell your own mythologized origin story is an essential tool for any artist. Listen to this episode to find out why and how to do it. I am indebted to the podcast episode Infamous: Taylor Swift Before She Was Famous Part I …
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I am a lifelong magical thinker, but in recent years have rejected it in favor of a more realistic (read: pessimistic/cynical haha) perspective. This holiday season, though, I have decided that I will once again let myself believe in magic. But am I ready to indulge in magical thinking in a responsible way? To find out, I compare my magical thinkin…
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There's no question that setting and achieving goals is beneficial...right? But what about when it's not? Creativity requires us to become adept at allowing ourselves to be swept off course. In this episode I discuss why we struggle so much to deviate from plan, why this can harm our creative process, and why we may want to consider taking radical …
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In these final difficult months of getting my novel ready for agent submissions, thinking about my art's greater purpose is serving as an important motivator. In this episode I discuss why I think it's best to save contemplating your art's greater purpose for the later stages of creation, how to know if you even need a greater purpose for your art,…
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When life gets messy, it's tempting to put our creative work aside until we have the space and energy for inspiration again. But this is no good if you are trying to finish a project or if you are dedicated to maintaining a serious creative practice as an artist or a mental health practice. In this episode I talk about what I learned from a recent …
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Sorry for the lateness of this episode, I'm dealing with some very noisy construction at my house that is interfering with my recording schedule. In this episode I provide a brief update on my novel polishing and throw out some thoughts I have on what artistic voice is and how to develop it.Por Kendra Patterson
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What happens when someone who hates deadlines decides to try one out? Listen to hear all about my recent experience of setting a deadline for myself to finish my novel. Spoiler: I hit it! In this episode I talk about why I'm usually against deadlines, when they are useful, how to know if you are ready to take the next step in your project and set a…
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Why is it that after all the work you've put into your creative project you hit your biggest resistance when you can finally see the finish line? This is what happened to me this summer when I was trying to finish my novel (which will be done next week!!!). Turns out this is totally normal, and in this episode I talk about why this happens and how …
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This is my final update on this strange summer that was full of change, growth, and pure panic, if I'm honest! I'll be returning to my regular type of programming in a couple weeks, and in this episode I give you a taste of the episodes topics I'm planning. They are all based on my experiences this summer tackling draft 10 of my novel, The Gentle H…
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I finally have some excellent news to share! I've had a creative breakthrough on my novel and am on track to finish it by mid-September. In this episode I share what led to the breakthrough, what it feels like, and my tentative plans for when I'm done.Por Kendra Patterson
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This is a grab bag of an episode in which I tell a long and rambling story about what getting my house tented for drywood termites has to do with the Empire State Building, share my thoughts on what I've learned about creative process as I've worked through my writer's block, give two examples of how I've humbled myself to art recently, and declare…
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In which I talk about how I'm working through my current writer's block and the importance of surrendering to the ebb and flow of creativity. Here is the newsletter by Nick Cave that I discuss in this episode.Por Kendra Patterson
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In which I discuss some recent developments in my life and the steps I am taking to deal with the circumstances.Por Kendra Patterson
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Many creatives and artists have a bit of the lone wolf in them. But generally speaking, being a lone wolf is looked down on in society. In this episode I mount a defense of this personality type and discuss some of the things that make lone wolves awesome human beings worthy of understanding, love, and admiration.…
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What do you do when you lose steam with your creative projects or practice? Nothing will block you faster than feeling bored with your work. When your inspiration and motivation go missing, though, there are some simple remedies that can get you back on track. In this episode I discuss the three levels of creative boredom, how to recognize them, an…
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I've never been able to figure out if I'm a highly ambitious person or not ambitious enough. What I've settled on is that while my culture tells me I should be ambitious, at heart I'm just not. When I start getting ambitious about my work, my stress levels rise and my burnout is triggered again. In this episode I discuss ambition in reference to cr…
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Will AI-created art change the way we view art and our relationship with it as consumers and creators? I contemplate this question in light of Frank Ocean's ostensibly disastrous but possibly brilliant performance at Coachella this year and the viral hit song featuring Drake and the Weeknd that turned out to be fake. My Instagram Article on Frank O…
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Following your intuition when you are being nudged off course is a vital creative skill, but many of us are held hostage by plans and struggle to accept interruptions as positive. We feel derailed and like we're losing control. But creativity requires interruption, because it opens space for something new and unexpected to arise. In this episode I …
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Lately I've been struggling with a growing awareness of pessimism and negativity around me in the world. It seems we are in an age of insecurity, fear, and suspicion. Then the other day I read about the Spiral Jetty, a work of land art on the edge of the Great Salt Lake in Utah, and it got me thinking about what art can teach us about dealing with …
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When we get stuck in life we can easily find reasons why we can't make the changes we need to make. But those aren't the real reasons we remain stuck. It's our feelings of powerlessness over our circumstances that really hold us back. In this episode I talk about different ways we give away our power to effect change in our lives and practices we c…
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Do you ever feel like you have lost your creative inspiration, or worse, that you don't have enough to begin with? In this episode I talk about how to cultivate inspiration by doing the opposite of what our instincts tell us. We're socialized to believe that if we want something, we need to aggressively go after it, even "attack" it. But when it co…
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It's a common assumption that highly creative people are more prone to mental illness. Van Gogh is perhaps one of the most famous examples of the mad creative genius archetype. But is there a scientifically verifiable link between creativity and mental illness? This is part of a recent research-based bonus episode I did for my Patreon subscribers a…
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I recently saw a play called Women Playing Hamlet (by William Missouri Downs) that explores the idea of playing roles others cast us in versus choosing the roles we play and inhabiting them fully through full knowledge of the self. In this episode I ask the question, why do we hesitate to cast ourselves in the roles of our choosing? Why do so many …
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Creatives are often told they need to take risks in order to reach their full potential, but what does that mean, exactly, and how does one do it? If you google creative risk you'll find tons of resources on the why of risk but not the what kind and how. In this episode I seek to fill some of those gaps of knowledge. I explore three types of creati…
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There is no question that we are now in the era of AI, and everyone is talking about what AI-generated art means for the art industry and individual artists. In this episode I talk about how creatives and artists can handle our anxieties around what the future holds as AI-generated art gluts up the system and decreases space for our own art. I incl…
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Why does the magic disappear from our lives as we grow up and mature, and how can we get it back? In this episode I contemplate what we mean when we talk about magic, why as adults it is required that we find a way to allow it back into our lives, and how we can do that. I also discuss the links between magic and creativity, and why it's especially…
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For my birthday weekend I decided to re-release one of my favorite previous episodes as a way of giving myself both a break and boost! This episode was previously released in March 2022 (E66). I'll be back next week! My Instagram (Grandma's xmas 1990 note) When You Don't Have the Privilege of Mental Health (blog post)…
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How do we know when we've finished a creative project? Sometimes we know because we have deadlines or explicit, concrete goals to work toward, but what about long-term and fairly open-ended projects like novels, where it is up to us and us alone to judge whether it's done? Especially if we have any perfectionist tendencies, we may feel confused abo…
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Creative breakthroughs can't be ordered up like a menu item, but there are things you can do to facilitate them. I discuss one such method in this episode.Por Kendra Patterson
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Recently a number of comeback stories have emerged from Hollywood, and in this episode I talk about four that have resonated with me: Michelle Yeoh, Jennifer Coolidge, Ke Huy Quan, and Brendan Fraser. Each one of these actors has struggled over decades with various setbacks, and has emerged victoriously in this year's awards season. Their stories a…
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In this episode I discuss how to deal with a motivation killer that can take you by surprise, because it's not one we are told we need to expect or be wary of. There's little to no information about it online, and I really had to dig deep to figure out how to handle it in my own life. What is this sneak-attack motivation killer? You'll have to list…
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Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try to find clarity around your art and what you're trying to convey with it, you're always stuck in the weeds? I certainly do. Even after years of writing and revising my novel, I often feel no clearer about what I'm trying to write than I was at the beginning (well, maybe I feel a little clearer!). In …
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Have you ever noticed that you get anxious when things are going well? It feels like we're always waiting for that inevitable downswing. Creativity, motivation, and inspiration come in cycles, and high and low times follow on each other. In this episode I address why creatives and artists struggle so much with the roller coaster nature of creative …
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In December I release some of my previously recorded Patreon bonus episodes as a treat for myself and my listeners. In this one I take a look at the updates to Elaine Aron's theory about HSPs (highly sensitive people) included in the 2020 re-release of her 1990s classic The Highly Sensitive Person, including new research on HSPs. I then discuss the…
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