Episode 370 Sheryl's 2VBACs + The Unpredictability of Birth

The VBAC Link

Sheryl’s first baby was five days late. Her second baby was five days early. From the first contraction to a surprise car birth, Sheryl’s third baby was under an hour!

Not only were the methods of delivery very different with each baby, but Sheryl’s life circumstances were too.

Julie and Sheryl chat about preparing yourself not only for the long, marathon labors, but also for the possibility of the fast and furious ones!

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details

Julie: All right. Good morning, Women of Strength. This is Julie Francom, and I am so excited to be here with you today to share with you a very exciting story. One of my favorite types of birth stories, people might think I’m crazy, but– oh, do you know what? I’m not going to tell you what the story is, but if you have been listening for a minute, you might know when I say what my favorite type of story is, but I’m going to leave it to be a surprise.

We are going to go ahead and read a Review of the Week really quickly, then I’ll introduce my guest of the day. Okay, let’s see. This review is from Apple Podcasts. It’s from ccm57, and she says, “I am so thankful I came across this podcast and know it was an invaluable tool when educating myself regarding VBACs and the birthing process in general. My first son was born via Cesarean due to his stubbornness and refusing to turn from his breech presentation. Leading up to his C-section, I was devastated that I wouldn’t be able to experience the natural birthing process I had always wanted.

“I am in the medical world. I knew about VBACs, and it was never even a thought I wouldn’t try for one in my next pregnancy. I found The VBAC Link halfway through my second pregnancy, and it was so addicting. I listened to every episode, sometimes multiple times a day, until my delivery. Every woman’s story was amazing and truly helpful to me personally.

“Thank you, Meagan, for being as passionate about VBACs and educating women all over the world. I can excitedly say that God was so gracious, and I had my beautiful VBAC this past August. Thank you to every woman who have shared your story on the podcast and for all of the women who are listening and expecting a sweet baby, I am cheering you on.”

I am so excited to hear stories and reviews like that. It’s really incredible what can happen when you get a group of women together to share stories and to help uplift and inspire each other. I’m grateful to this reviewer today and to all of you listening, to everyone who has shared their story on the podcast, and to everybody who helps spread the word about VBAC and helps increase access to people all over the world, really.

All right. Well, guess what? It is very cold today. It’s been a very nice 70s and 80 degrees here in Utah for the last little while, but it is now mid-October at the time that we are recording this, and it is raining and freezing. There is supposed to be snow dumping up in the mountains today, and I am just wrapped up tight in my big, poofy blanket and very, very excited to talk to our guest today.

Her name is Sheryl, and she is going to share her Cesarean and VBAC stories with us. I am really excited. I am really excited for this story, you guys. I’m not going to tell you what we are going to talk about at the end because I don’t want to ruin the surprise. It’s going to be a great episode, and I am just going to go ahead and give it over to Sheryl and let her pick it up.

Oh, first, hold on. Let me read her bio. I am still getting into the swing of things.

Sheryl: Sure.

Julie: I need to remember that. Let’s see.

Oh, yes. Sheryl is a mom of three. She has been married for 10 years to her husband. They live in Sugar Creek, Ohio. I love the Midwest except in the winter. It’s getting ready to be not so fun out there. It’s beautiful in the spring and summertime. Anyway, okay. She recently returned from living in the Dominican Republic for the last two and a half years which is really cool. I feel like everybody needs to have an experience living abroad.

Sheryl: For sure.

Julie: You just learn so much when you are in a foreign country experiencing different things. I feel like it’s very valuable. Anyway, that was a little bit of a tangent. But now, for real, we are going to give it over to Sheryl. Go ahead, Sheryl.

Sheryl: Okay, well thanks so much for having me on. This is super fun.

Julie: Of course.

Sheryl: Yeah, I’m not sure where you want me to start, but I have had two VBACs and very different experiences with both. My first was a C-section. I’ll start with his story a little bit. He’s 6-years-old, so six years ago, I knew I wanted to have a natural birth. I took a natural childbirth class. I felt like I had prepared, but I don’t think I had mentally prepared for birth very well.

I think if I could do it again, I would definitely have hired a doula just to help with the mental aspect. I was five days late. I told my husband, “I’m not going to work tomorrow.” It was Sunday night. I was like, “There is no way I’m going to work tomorrow. I will go into labor tonight because I can’t go to work tomorrow pregnant.”

He was like, “Okay.” We went on a truck drive on a bumpy road. We played mini-golf. We were like, “Okay.” We started watching a movie. I was like, “I think I’m cramping a little bit. Okay, this is great.” We finally went to bed, and yep. Sure enough, a few hours later, I woke up with contractions, and I was so excited.

I was very taken back by how painful they were. Now, looking back, it was like, okay. Those contractions weren’t even that bad. It was going to get so much worse. I was progressing great. I think I went to the hospital when they were 3.5-4 minutes apart. I think I got there. I think I was dilated to a 4 or 5, so they were like, “Yeah, you’re progressing really well. This is great.”

I figured it was 7:00 in the morning. We would have a baby by noon. At 11:00, I said that I wanted to get in the birth tub or just labor, but I wanted to get out to have the baby. I was in the tub. Now, looking back, I think I was in transition. I ended up vomiting a little bit and just being so nauseous and in so much pain. The water did help, then they came and checked me and were like, “You are an 8.” They were like, “You should get out if you don’t want to have your baby in the water.”

I was so excited. They came and got things ready, then I really got fearful at that point. I was just very scared about what was going to happen and all of the things. They came and checked me, and they were like, “Oh, no. You’re not dilated that much. You’re maybe a 7.” I just tried to keep laboring on. We ended up doing some different pain management. I was just not progressing anymore.

At this point, I think it was 14-15 hours, so I was just exhausted. I was very thankful. One of the midwives at the practice that I was at was off that day. She had actually been on vacation. They let her know, “Hey, just so you know, Sheryl is at the hospital. She is having a really hard time. We can’t figure out why she’s not progressing further.” She was like, “I’m going in.” She came in. She was so kind, and she worked for hours trying different positions and everything possible.

Finally, she was like, “Okay.” I think it was 8:00 at night. She said, “You are exhausted. Let’s do an epidural,” which I didn’t want because I was like, “I don’t want needles. I hate needles.” I got an epidural. I got a little bit of a nap. It worked for about an hour, then it stopped working. The pain came back, but then obviously, there’s nothing you can do except lay there. I was at a 9, and it wouldn’t go any further.

She kept trying different things even with the epidural. Finally, she was like, “Okay, he’s actually gone back up. He was down, and now he’s back up.” She said she was going to go talk to the doctor and see what he thinks we should do. They came back. It was 10:30 at night. They were like, “I think it’s time for a C-section. We don’t know why he’s going back up, but typically, it’s a sign that things are not going well, so we’re going to do a C-section.”

At that point, you’re just so tired that you’re like, “Okay, yeah. Whatever we have to do to get him out.” They ended up doing a C-section. I was so tired that I was falling asleep while they were doing the spinal tap. I was just exhausted.

The C-section went very well. My postpartum was hard. I think just as a first-time mom with a C-section and all of those, and then feeling like a failure. That was a really challenging time, but right away, the doctor told me that they were one in the area that was known for VBACs. They had successful VBACs.

He told me and my husband right away, “You will be able to have a VBAC. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to have a VBAC for your next.”

Julie: Oh, I love that. I love that they said that to you right from the get-go.

Sheryl: Yeah. It was so great, so it was like, “Okay. We know that the next one will be a VBAC.”

We actually had a miscarriage between baby number one and baby number two. That was really challenging. It was a surprise.

At that point, we had committed to move to Haiti. We weren’t planning on getting pregnant, but we got pregnant, then 10 weeks later, we miscarried.

Julie: Wow.

Sheryl: It was definitely a difficult time, and it was the year 2020. I don’t think I need to say anymore than that. It was February 2020 when I miscarried.

Julie: Oh, Sheryl. COVID ruined everything. It really did.

Sheryl: It was definitely a challenging year. We were ready to go on a mission. That got delayed until we ended up moving to Haiti in March 2021. We were there for almost 6 months, and then their president was assassinated, so the country became really turmoiled and it was becoming unsafe for Americans to be living there. Our mission board thought it would be best to pull us home.

At that time, we had planned, okay. We moved in March. If we start trying for baby number two in June, we would have been in Haiti for a year. We’ll start trying. We had kind of started trying, then we got pulled out in July, so it was like, man. Do we keep trying? Do we not?

We were like, like, “You know what? We’ll keep trying. We’ll see what happens.” Yep, sure enough, in August, we got pregnant again with our second baby, our little girl named Felicity.

Right away, I had that confidence that, “Okay. I’m going to have a VBAC.” I did a really good job, I felt, of preparing mentally. I read so many books, so many podcasts. I decided right away, “Okay. I’m going to have a doula.” I was just really prepared.

But during this time, we were planning on going back to Haiti. It’s so many details, but long story short, we weren’t able to go back to Haiti because it ended up getting worse, not better. So our mission board was like, “Hey, let’s find someplace else for you to serve in the meantime before you have your baby back in Ohio.” We connected with a mission in the Dominican Republic and ended up going to the DR.

That was a great experience, but also, I waited to come back from the DR until I was 35 weeks pregnant. It was crazy to be in another country and know that you’re going back. I definitely did not want to have a baby in the Dominican Republic. If listeners are familiar with the DR, they have the highest C-section rate. I looked at the number really quick. I was actually surprised it wasn’t higher, but 58% of births are C-sections. Almost all of their natural births, they do episiotomies. That’s just what they do.

Julie: What?

Sheryl: Yeah, it’s nuts. So it’s like, there’s no way I’m going to have a baby in the Dominican Republic. Thank the Lord, I didn’t have a baby int he Dominican Republic. I was very ready to do this. I had affirmations. I had prayers written out. I hired a doula and all of the things. I spent a lot of things praying for very specific things asking the Lord, “Okay, I don’t want to go late. I don’t want to have a long labor, and I want this certain midwife.” Her name was Leanne. I wanted her to deliver me. She’s delivered two of my sisters’ children, so she was a family friend. She’s known us for 20 years. Those were my prayers that I kept praying. I asked family and friends to pray.

I went in at 39 weeks. She was like, “Hey, you’re dilated to a 3. You’re 50% effaced. Do you want to do a membrane sweep?” I was like, “Yes, let’s do it.” We did that. I went home. I felt fine. We did some food prep. I finally got my husband to pack his hospital bag that next day, then I guess I went to the doctor when I was 39 weeks and 1 day, but the next day, my husband was supposed to be working 2 hours from where we lived.

He was like, “Should I go?” I was like, “Well, I think so. I don’t think I’ll feel anything tonight. Let’s plan on going. I’ll wake up when you wake up and make sure I’m not having any contractions.” He woke up at 5:00. I was like, “Yeah, I’ll get up.” I went to the bathroom. “No, I’m fine. No contractions. Go on to work. You’ll be just fine.”

6:30 rolls around. Whoa, that’s a contraction. “Okay, I’m going to go back to sleep.” At 7:30, a contraction woke me up, and my little boy at the time would have been 3, almost 4. He woke up ready to have breakfst, and I was like, “Oh, that’s a contraction.” I tracked my husband, and he wasn’t even to the job site yet. I’m like, “Oh no.”

Julie: Oh my gosh.

Sheryl: Oh no.

I made breakfast. I got in the shower. I was like, “Surely, they’ll slow down.” At this point, they were 4-5 minutes apart. I was like, “They aren’t slowing down. Okay.” My sister texted me. She was like, “Hey, how are you feeling this morning?” I was like, “I think I’m going into labor.” She FaceTimed me. I’m braiding my hair and trying to get ready. She’s watching me, and she was like, “Have you let Javen know yet?” I was like, “No. I was trying to let him get some work done.” She was like, “Sheryl, are you timing them?” I was like, “Yeah.” She was like, “That’s every 3.5-4 minutes apart. You should probably call him.”

I was like, “Okay, yeah, you’re right.” I called him, and he immediately knew. He was like, “Ah, she’s in labor.” He hopped in the work truck and headed toward me, but there was no way that I could sit here and wait. We had three people lined up to take Riley for us. Unfortunately, those two people both did not pick up their phones, and one was sick.

I called number three, and she was like, “Hey, I will come and get you and take you to the midwife office.” They were going to check me there before I went to the hospital just to make sure I was progressing. She had three kids in the car. She added one more of mine in. It was an interesting 30-minute drive trying to labor while there were kids in the car and a lot happening.

I got to my midwife practice, and she was like, “Okay, yep. You’re dilated to a 5. You need to get to the hospital.”

Thankfully, my husband met us there. We headed to the hospital. We got to the hospital. I was a 6. My doula got there at 12:00, and things were just progressing really nicely. At 1:00, I think it was 1:00, my doula was like, “Hey, why don’t you go to the bathroom to see if you need to pee or anything?” I did, an at that moment, my water broke.

They checked me. They were like, “You’re a 9. You’re almost there. Two more contractions. Okay, you’re ready to push.” So I pushed for an hour, and she was born at 2:15. It was really an amazing birth. It was everything I had prayed for. It was less than 12 hours which I had specifically prayed, “Please, Lord, no more than 12 hours.” It was told, “Oh, you’ll probably push for 2 hours,” and I pushed for an hour. It just felt like God was very faithful, and He answered my prayers.

The one thing I didn’t pray about, and this time I did, was for no tearing. I did tear pretty bad, so that made postpartum pretty rough.

After Felicity, we returned to the Dominican Republic and were there for 2.5 years.

We’ll fast forward to last year, and were like, “Okay, maybe it’s time for us to head back to Ohio.” We really loved it in the DR. We had a great community and great friendships. The ministry we were serving with was wonderful, but we felt like, “Okay, this is what we are supposed to do.”

We came home for Christmas. We hadn’t been home for over a year, so it was really exciting to come back to Ohio and see family. While we were here, I just was like, “Man, I’m one day late,” and I’m never one day late.

I had said, “Okay, I’d better get that taste just in case.” I took it, and sure enough, we are expecting another baby. It was very surprising, but also, it was just like, “Okay, we were planning on coming home, so now we are definitely coming home.” We moved back to Ohio in June, and we were due the end of August, August 27th.

I think I should have mentioned that with Felicity, our second baby, I was 5 days early. I was 5 days late with the first one, and 5 days early with the second. I think just with this pregnancy, it was so different because we were just in a different phase of life. I didn’t prepare as well. I felt like in the last few weeks, I was scrambling mentally. I was feeling anxious and not prepared. I actually listened to The VBAC Link one day. I was really struggling. I was like, “I need to hear some positive stories.”

I was driving to the airport to do an airport run, so I just kept listening to episodes, and it was like, “Okay. Other people have done this. I can do this to,” so that was super helpful. I would say that overall, the practice was really great. It was one midwife and one OB/GYN, but I did not love this time around. They were not as supportive as I felt. They were like, “Hey, we are not going to let you go past 40 weeks no matter what. That’s our policy. You can’t go past 40 weeks.” I was just like, “Aw, well, I don’t want to be induced. I don’t want Pitocin. I don’t want to be induced.” They just kept pressing that, especially the doctor.

I just didn’t feel super supported. We decided not to do a doula this time. The last few weeks were kind of rough. I didn’t feel great. It was the summer. We transitioned. We had two kids. Our second one, Felicity, is two, so it’s a lot different being pregnant with a 2-year-old and an almost 4-year-old. Yeah. I kept going to the doctor.

At 38 weeks, they checked me. They were like, “Yeah, you’re not dilated at all.” At 39 weeks, they checked me, and they were like, “Yeah, there’s no way we could do a membrane sweep. You’re not dilated at all.” So at my 39-week appointment, they were like, “Yeah, we think it’s time to schedule that induction.” They did an ultrasound at 38 weeks, and they were like, “Yeah, you look perfect. Baby is healthy. Not too big.” All of those things. It was frustrating to me because I was like, “If everything is fine, why do I need to be induced?”

We were contemplating fighting it, but then me and my husband were like, “Hey, is the stress of fighting the practice worth over going into an induction with a positive attitude?” We decided, “Hey, we’re going to schedule the induction. We’re going to do our best to do everything we can in the next week to make it happen on our own.” Lots of walking. We tried everything.

My induction was scheduled for Thursday, the 30th, I believe, or the 29th. The 29th. I went in on Monday and had an appointment. I was like, “Hey, I just want to get checked one more time. Can I do a membrane sweep? That worked well last time.”

I think my appointment was at 2:30 in the afternoon on Monday. They tried, and she was like, “Nope. You’re not even dilated more than a 2, and he’s way far up. Yeah. You’re just going to have to be induced on Thursday.” I was just so devastated. I left so sad, and I was just like, “Okay. We’re going to do this. I need to just be positive.”

But then that night after we had the kids in bed, I had a little bit of a breakdown. I told my husband, “I’m just so sad. I really thought I could do this. My body is failing me.” You know, all of those things.

He was like, “Hey, let’s just pray about it.” That night, we specifically prayed that I wouldn’t tear, Leanna would get to deliver, and that it would go really quickly. That was at 10:30 at night. We quickly did a lap around outside, just trying to calm me dow and then hopefully a walk would start something.

Finally, we went to bed at 11:30. As I was climbing into bed, I felt a contraction. I was like, “Oh wow. That’s been the most painful one I’ve ever had. Okay, I’m going to go to bed.” I had another one about 8 minutes later, but didn’t think anything of it. I finally fell asleep, and I kept feeling them, but I was still sleeping. I didn’t really worry about it.

Again, in my mind, I have to be induced on Thursday. There’s no way I’m going into labor. I woke up at 1:30 to an extremely painful contraction. All of a sudden, I felt a pop. I feel like I heard it too, but I felt a pop, and I was like, “That’s my water.” I woke Javen up. I’m like, “Javen, my water just broke, and the contractions are very painful.”

He quickly called his mom to come over and watch the kids. He called the doctor’s office to let them know. I was yelling, “Hey, tell them that Leanne’s supposed to deliver.” I got in the shower. I tried to start getting cleaned up, and I’m realizing that the contractions are every 3-3.5 minutes. But in my mind, my water just broke. I’m sure I had plenty of time. I was only dilated to a 2 yesterday.

My mother-in-law got there. I got out of the shower and got dressed. Neither me or my husband were in a hurry, but I walked from the bathroom to the kitchen table. Contraction to the kitchen. I couldn’t walk more than a few steps without having a contraction. I looked at my mother-in-law and I was like, “Man, I’ve never had my water break this early. These contractions hurt really badly.” She shook her head and was like, “Uh-huh. Yeah.” She looks at Javen, and she was like, “You need to get her to the hospital.”

She’s trying to get us to the car. I’m in so much pain. She was like, “You’ve got to get to the hospital.” The hospital is a 40-minute drive. We left for the hospital at 2:00. I actually rode on a birthing ball in the back of the car which now, I’m like, “Yeah, that probably didn’t help slow the progress down,” but that was the only thing that was comfortable.

I had my worship playlist going. I was in a lot of pain. I had a few friends who I had told, “Hey, I’m going to text you when I go into labor so you can be praying.” I texted a couple friends. I texted a sibling, “Just so you know, I’m going to the hospital. My water broke.”

My one sister does some night work. She was actually still awake, so she started tracking me on my phone. We got halfway to the hospital, and I told Javen, “Javen, we’re not going to make it. I need you to pull over. He’s coming.” He was like, “No, just wait 20 minutes. You can wait 20 minutes.” I was like, “Nope. There’s no way. You need to get the car pulled over right now. He’s coming out.”

I quickly got off the ball, and within 2 minutes of getting the car pulled over, Javen moving the driver’s seat forward, and opening up the door, and calling 9-1-1, we had our baby boy.

It was the most crazy experience. I say he came out in three pushes, but really, I didn’t push at all. To experience my body just taking over is just an insane feeling.

Julie: Oh my gosh. Yep.

Sheryl: Yeah. The ambulance was headed our way but they were pretty far away because we were in the middle of nowhere. We were actually pulled over into an Amish farm. We live in the heart of Amish country in the middle of Ohio. I’m praying, “Please don’t come outside and watch me give birth.” Luckily, no. We found out who the owner was and through back and forth, they were like, “No, we didn’t wake up. We didn’t hear anything.” So praise the Lord for that.

I actually delivered my placenta before the ambulance got there.

Julie: Oh my gosh.

Sheryl: Baby Casey was healthy and just immediately had a head full of hair. He was the most beautiful baby boy. I held him on my chest. Javen caught him and handed him to me. Just to hold him, it was such a whirlwind. It was crazy. I got into the ambulance and realized that yes, not only does he have a head full of hair, but he has a head full of red hair. He has very, very red hair. He was just a surprise from every point.

We got to the hospital. The midwife came to check on me. She was like, “How did this happen? I just saw you not even 12 hours ago, and you were not ready to have a baby.” Every prayer I prayed was answered again. Now I know, and I’ll tell listeners, if you’re going to pray, you need to be specific. Be specific when you say, “Get me to the hospital and not in the car.” I learned that.

Julie: That is so funny.

Sheryl: I did not tear, and that was something I had prayed for which was really cool because my midwife is older, so I think this was baby number 1900 for her or in the 1900s. She had always told me, “Hey, when you go to push, don’t push the head out. Just breathe it out. Don’t push and you won’t tear.”

As he was coming out, that’s all I could hear in the back of my head was Leanne saying those things. It worked. That was really special. She was really, really proud of me for remembering that.

Julie: I love that so much. Okay, you guys know I love a good car birth story. It’s my favorite. It would be my dream birth. People might think I’m crazy, but man, I just dream one day of following somebody as they rush to the hospital in labor and then pull over to the side of the road, and I get to document a car birth.

Anyway, probably not what you would use to describe it, but what happened when you got to the hospital? I’m assuming you got into the ambulance and drove over. They checked you out. You didn’t tear and everything. Did you go home or did you stay in the hospital?

Sheryl: We stayed in the hospital because they were like, “It’s not necessarily you, but the baby. We have to monitor the baby for 24 hours.” My husband and I looked at each other. We were like, “We have to be here for 24 hours? We should have just gone back home and had somebody check on us there.”

But yeah, it was great. I got in the ambulance. My husband had my phone. I looked down, and like I said, my sister was tracking me. I had a text message that said, “Did you just give birth on the side of the road?” I responded, “Yes, I did.” She said that as soon as she saw the car stop moving, she kept refreshing and the car did not move. She just knew. That was fun.

I started nursing. I’m laying there in the ambulance, and I’m like, “Well, hand him to me. I want to see if he’s going to nurse.” He latched immediately. They were surprised.

Also, two of our EMTs were Amish guys, so that’s fun. To live in Amish country, you do have Amish EMTs then, so that was fun.

Julie: Yeah. Wow. That is so crazy. I think that is just such a way to highlight how every birth is different. We talk about how every person is different. Every pregnancy and birth is so different and unique in and of itself. You had three very different birth experiences. I love that. I was trying to do the math in my head about how long this was from when you woke up at 1:30. What time was baby born?

Sheryl: 2:20.

Julie: Oh my goodness. Girl.

Sheryl: Yes, so less than an hour. I never would have thought. We did joke a couple times, “Hey, if you want your VBAC, just have it in the car, and you for sure will get it exactly how you want it if you don’t want Pitocin and all of that.” We joke about that, but now we know that you probably shouldn’t joke about that. It might happen.

But honestly, I never thought. I’m a little bit crunchy, but not super. I didn’t want a home birth or a free birth, but now, I get it. It was super empowering. I had so much adrenaline and just to be like, wow. My body did what it was supposed to do. I can trust it. It knew when to go into labor. Obviously, it doesn’t always go that way, but this time it did. It knew what it was supposed to do.

Somebody told me that their doctor said, “I never trust third babies.”

Julie: I always say that too.

Sheryl: Yep. It’s definitely true.

Julie: I always say that I don’t trust babies. I especially don’t trust third babies. It’s just so unpredictable especially when you let babies do their thing. There are times when interventions are needed. There are times when Cesareans are lifesaving. There are times when induction is necessary, but I feel like the biggest majority of the time, if we just let the body do what it knows how to do, things will happen just beautifully and perfectly. Like I said, there is nuance there. It’s important to acknowledge that, but a lot of amazing things happen when we just trust and create space for the body and the baby to do their beautiful labor dance and let things happen as designed.

I think it’s really neat. I think it’s all neat. I’m a birth nerd. I think birth is neat. Birth is cool, and I think there are lots of really cool things to say about all of your stories. I do think it’s really important that with VBAC especially, you can have a VBAC in lots of ways. You can have it in the hospital, a planned induction, a planned epidural, planned unmedicated, in-hospital, out-of-hospital, or however you want. A free birth, unassisted or whatever. You can do it all of the different ways, but I think it’s really important. We talk a lot about, especially with VBAC, laboring like a first-time mom and being prepared for the long haul. Plan for a 20-hour labor or longer.

But I feel like maybe it’s a disservice to not talk about the other side when things can pick up and start really fast and go really fast because I feel like the perfect length of labor is a nice 8 hours. 8 hours is a good amount of time where it doesn’t railroad you. You don’t have to catch up and process. You don’t feel defeated because it’s taking so long. 8 hours is a really great length.

I think it’s a disservice to talk about that would happen if there is not time to get to the hospital or if there’s not time to get an epidural. Sometimes parents rely so much on not getting a medicated birth that they don’t think about what would happen if there is not time for that, then being railroaded by a fast labor and not being prepared for the intensities that come with that can cause birth trauma in and of itself even though the body is doing its thing and we trust the body. It can cause trauma by having something that you didn’t prepare for or expect of plan for.

I would encourage everybody that if you are planning a home birth, if you are planning a long labor, cool. That’s great. It’s great to be prepared for things. I always say to prepare for the worst and hope for the best, but sometimes, it’s good to prepare for the other things too. Prepare for the things that are opposite of what you want or what you are hoping for or what you are preparing for because at least if you acknowledge them and make a plan A, a plan B, and a plan C, then you will be less likely to be unprepared or caught off guard or have the opportunity for trauma to be introduced to your story.

I think it’s really fun to explore all of these different things and hear all of the different stories and how different everybody truly is. I love that. What would you say?

Sheryl: As far as that, a lot of people were like, “Oh man, my husband could never do that.” One, so many instincts just kick in. So many people said, “How did you know what to do?” One, I’ve had a baby before. Two, my body knew what to do. I just listened to the cues. Okay, what should I do? What feels comfortable? But then again, my husband was amazing. No fear. He caught the baby. He drove to the hospital with bloody hands, but he is a hunter and a farmer, so he’s like, “Yeah, no big deal.” He’s known as a cool, calm, collected guy, and he even is when he is delivering his own baby in the back of a car.

The other funny thing was that since we had just moved back, we had bought a new vehicle. I had dreamed of being a minivan mom almost my whole life. I had always wanted to be a mom. Finally, my husband got me my first minivan. Baby number three on the way, we finally get a minivan. Luckily, it came with really good mats in it that had a wide lip around the edge. Everybody was like, “What a mess that must be.” Lucky for us, everything stayed right there. The next morning, Javen went and got me breakfast. On his way to get me breakfast, he stopped by the car wash and dumped it out, rinsed it off, and we were good to go.

Julie: Perfect.

Sheryl: The doctor at our practice was like, “You really should write that company and do a review for them.”

Julie: That is amazing.

Sheryl: If you are thinking of having kids, you should put that in.

Julie: Maybe you’ll get a free car. Did you hear the story about a guy who had a Stanley-insulated tumbler in his car, and his car caught on fire? After, he was going back through the wreckage. The car was literally on fire. He has a video of this car. He’s looking through it. It’s charred and burnt, then he opens up his Stanley cup and there’s still ice in it.

Then Stanley the company gifted him a new car.

Sheryl: Oh, wow. Oh man.

Julie: The natural advertisement for that. Can you believe it?

Sheryl: Maybe I need to reach out.

Julie: Do it.

Sheryl: As we were sitting there in the hospital, we can’t sleep after that. It takes hours for you to calm down after that much adrenaline. Life for the last four years, really, has been crazy. I think we’ve lived in six or seven different houses. We have been back and forth to three different countries basically. That part of our story is coming to a close. It was like, yep. Okay. This is a really great way to end this chapter of our life with a carbirth.

Our life will continue to be interesting and crazy in other ways.

Julie: That is amazing. It sounds like you have quite an adventurous life for sure, and what a story. What a story to tell. Thank you so much.

Oh wait. Before we wrap it up, I want you to tell us your best VBAC advice. What is one thing you would tell anybody preparing for a VBAC? What should they do?

Sheryl: Yeah, great question. I would say to prepare like it’s a marathon mentally. Really think about what you want. What to you is a part of birth? If you follow the Lord, ask Him those things because He does want to answer our requests. He does delight in giving us what we want. Sometimes, He doesn’t always answer that, but in my experience, when I’ve asked in this specific area, He has given me what I wanted.

Really pray about it. I know that with every birth, I have gone and gotten a massage. For that hour, I have focused on, “Okay. What is an important part of birth to me?” That would be my advice. Really focus mentally on feeling strong and capable.

Julie: I love that. I love that. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, Sheryl. It’s been such a joy to listen to your stories. Yeah, so fun.

Closing

Would you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.

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