Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools ...
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Robyn Gobbel is a writer, trainer, speaker, and educator dedicated to understanding why humans behave the way they behave.
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Welcome to 'The Unteachables Podcast'! I’m your host Claire English, a passionate secondary teacher and leader turned teacher mentor and author of the book 'It's Never Just About the Behaviour: A holistic approach to classroom behaviour management'. I am here because I am on a mission to transform classroom management and teacher support. Why I do this? It doesn’t feel that long ago that I was completely overwhelmed and out of my depth with behaviour (particularly low level disruptions), try ...
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From babyhood to school age, through the teenage years and ultimately adulthood, Adoption: The Long View explores all aspects of the adoption journey with a variety of articulate and thought-provoking guests.
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The Journeys With PDA coffee chat podcast will be discussing and sharing all things Pathological Demand Avoidance autism profile and neurodiversity. Join Heather and Kerissa as we share our journey parenting our autistic PDA children. We will also share our experience in discovering our own neurodivergence! We will be discussing the authentic and honest reality that comes with supporting unique brains. There will be lots of laughs and even some tears.You will find connection, community and c ...
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Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems is practically synonymous with “controlling.” Our kids are controlling and for most of us, if we were honest, we’d notice that the stress of parenting is causing us to get controlling, too. Why? In this episode, you’ll learn Why protection mode almost always leads to an increase in controlling behavior…
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#79: 1 simple tool to tackle low-level behaviours, increase engagement, and bust dysregulation.
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Classroom management is more than just the behaviour, and dealing with low-level disruptive behaviours NEEDS to be more than this to be effective! In this episode, I'll be exploring (well... more like nerding out on) a simple yet incredibly effective tool to help manage and reduce low-level behaviours in the classroom: the humble task card. I know,…
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In a previous episode of Adoption: The Long View (ep505), an adoptee noted that her parents are the center of their adoption story just as she is the center of hers. It’s no big duh that the parents of an adoptee and the adoptee themself experience the sam...
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Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of- “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?” Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episo…
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#78: Feel like you're constantly repeating instructions? The 3 barriers to students just getting on with it (minus the off-task chatter, blank stares, and million questions)
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Click here to access your free session on the barriers to giving a task that students get (and get on with) In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why students might not be listening or following your task instructions. Picture this: hands shoot up, students ask, “What are we doing?” or they sit there doodling, lost in confusion. What’s going on here? I…
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Special Guest: Vinnie Stars Pt. 2
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather and Kerissa continue our chat with Vinnie Stars about the adult experience of PDA, which includes a fantastic explanation and discussion of "Leveling." Vinnie is a white queer Autistic / ADHD PDA, vision & hearing impaired survivor, speaker, coach and consultant who channels positive Autistic / Neurodivergent…
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather and Kerissa chat with Vinnie Stars about the adult experience of PDA. Vinnie is a white queer Autistic / ADHD PDA, vision & hearing impaired survivor, speaker, coach and consultant who channels positive Autistic / Neurodivergent Identity by creating Liberatory Processing Spaces through their business Square P…
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This episode originally aired on November 7th, 2023 Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain? They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk? I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room). This doesn’t m…
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In this episode, I’m diving into three common pieces of behaviour and classroom management advice that teachers are often given and why we need to stop offering them—at least in the way they’re typically presented. These bits of advice are frequently thrown around without any meaningful support or practical steps, making them more harmful than help…
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This episode originally aired February 17th, 2023 I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses. I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start sayi…
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#76: What to ACTUALLY say to calm students down. 4 steps to resolving bubbling behaviours quickly, so you can get back to teaching.
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In this episode, I dive into one of the toughest challenges we face as teachers—how to manage a classroom full of students when dysregulated behaviours start bubbling up and escalating. I talk about the key things to remember when students are dysregulated and can’t reason with us, and share my CARE Framework—a practical approach for responding to …
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Does your child with a vulnerable nervous system say mean, hurtful, taunting, or aggressive things to your other kids? You already know you can’t control what comes out of someone else’s mouth, so what do you do??? How do you help your kids deal with their sibling’s verbal aggression? In this episode, you’ll learn Steps to help increase your childr…
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The start of a new school year is always a mix of excitement and nerves (the Sunday scaries multiplied times over!!). As teachers, we’re not just thinking about lesson plans and curriculum—we’re setting the stage for a whole year of learning, growth, and relationships. What will our students be like? How will they get along? What will the dynamics …
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What on earth should you do when you have more than one child dysregulated at the same time? You’re outnumbered, you’re overwhelmed. Now what? In this episode, you’ll learn The #1 step to take when more than one kid is dysregulated What to prioritize How to have realistic expectations for yourself Resources mentioned in this podcast: Child Always D…
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#74: The start of school ice breaker activities that need to get in the bin, and what to do instead to build a positive, thriving, class community (no matter what time it is!)
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How can you set the tone for an amazing school year without resorting to icebreakers that have your students eyes rolling? In this episode, you will learn how to foster genuine connections, and create a positive classroom environment that students are eager to be part of, any day of the school year. Listen in as I explore why typical icebreakers of…
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One of the myths of adoption is the now debunked “blank slate” theory that if you get your baby early enough, they won’t have experienced any trauma. And therefore, you won’t be raising a child with a trauma history, and you won’t be dealing with big,...
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If you are a regular listener here on The Baffling Behavior Show, big, baffling behaviors and big meltdowns are no longer surprising in your home. Even if we can’t predict those moments of 'Back-Off or, 'Attack' Watchdog, "Shut Down' or, 'Play Dead' Possum, we can predict that it is going to happen again. You can create felt safety for the other ch…
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#73: No space for a calm corner in your classroom? 4 practical tips for student self-regulation on the go!
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Let’s talk calm corners. They are all the rage, and for good reason. When done right, they teach regulation skills and embed these as part of the classroom culture and shared language. When students understand more about their brains, they’re more likely to be empowered to manage their behaviours and self-regulate. Yes, even in secondary! Especiall…
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather & Kerissa chat about an interesting phenomenon known as The Double Empathy Problem. The Double Empathy Problem suggests that when people with very different experiences interact, they will struggle to empathize with each other. This creates misunderstandings between Neurodivergents and Neurotypicals that rang…
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#72: Let’s have a heart to heart… How are you going? Plus, big news on how The Unteachables is changing.
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Let me ask you a question, teacher friend... How are you, really? I have thought long and hard about how I view teacher wellbeing, what it is, how we get it, and there are so many factors that we need to consider: How much autonomy and trust you have. The support you’re getting from leadership. The culture of the school. How empowered you feel in y…
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Grief is hard to acknowledge and talk about. The truth is, there is grief involved with being the sibling of a child with a special need. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how to support the siblings of kids with a nervous system disability with behavior-based symptoms with all their feelings, especially grief. In this episode, you’ll learn How t…
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One way we can support the siblings of kids with big, baffling behaviors is to teach them about owls, watchdogs, and possums (or some way to understand the brain and behaviors) as well as to teach them about nervous system vulnerabilities and ‘overactive’ watchdog and possum brains! In this episode, you’ll learn Steps to take when teaching siblings…
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#71: Kids don’t learn off people they don’t like… but getting them to like you is sometimes easier said than done! How to reach and teach students with big behaviours.
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Welcome back to another episode of The Unteachables Podcast, teacher friends! Today I delve into the final chapter of my book, It's Never Just About the Behaviour. If you want to listen to this series from the start, head back to episode 65! Yes, building relationships is important... but dang is it hard with some students! On today's episode I giv…
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather and Kerissa chat with Clare Truman. Clare Truman is an education consultant, author, PhD student, and big sister to an autistic young man. She specializes in supporting PDA children and young people to access education. She is the author of ‘The Teacher’s Guide to Pathological Demand Avoidance: Essential Stra…
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Do you have kids who feel like the way you parent their sibling (the one with the worst behavior!!!) is unfair? We’ll be tackling different topics on how to support siblings over the next month. In this episode, you’ll learn The five things to consider when thinking about how to help siblings understand ‘unfair’ parenting Are you parenting all your…
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#70: I truly didn't believe all of my students could succeed. Why this was diabolical for behaviour and engagement, and what I had to change.
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Today, I dive into a strategy from Pillar 6 from my newly released book, 'It's Never Just About the Behaviour' which explores the essential connection between quality teaching, learning, and managing challenging classroom behaviours. In this episode, I explore two key reasons why teaching and learning is inextricably linked with classroom managemen…
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In this much anticipated episode, we resume our conversation with adoptee and adoption educator Torie DiMartile on adoption math that adoptees have to deal with, the worlds they must precariously straddle throughout their lives, the opposing emotions the...
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EP 185: Setting Boundaries that Stick with Juliane Taylor Shore and Therapist Uncensored
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Something new and unexpected here on The Baffling Behavior Show! This episode is actually from the Therapist Uncensored Podcast with Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley. Sue and Ann interviewed one of y'alls FAVORITES- Juliane Taylor Shore. Juliane was on The Baffling Behavior Show a long time ago, talking about psychological boundaries and verbal aggressi…
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#69: How to give instructions that students get (and follow!!). Avoiding classroom confusion and chaos by using the 'Get Ready, Get Set, Go!' strategy.
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This week, I dive into Pillar 5 of "It's Never Just About the Behavior." In this episode, I emphasize the importance of clarity in your holistic classroom management approach, and provide practical strategies to ensure students understand and meet expectations. Today I discuss: The Importance of Clarity in Expectations: Why clear communication is c…
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Parents of kids with baffling behaviors are CONSTANTLY being judged by others. How do we get to a point where we don’t care as much about what other people think? In this episode, we’ll explore: Some of the most common judgments that parents of kids with baffling behaviors receive How it’s actually not possible to not care at all, but we can care L…
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#68: Turning your classroom into an island of safety for every single student (oh, and for yourself as the teacher, of course)
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Consistency in classroom management is more than just a routine; it’s a pathway to creating an "island of safety" for your students. From the moment students walk into the classroom to the way lessons are structured, consistency can significantly reduce anxiety and foster a supportive learning environment. In this episode, I delve into the fourth p…
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“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers You know, one of my favorite things about studying relational neuroscience is discovering the science that proves things we’ve known all along. Not everyone needs the science, and I know some think the science detracts from the powerful truths that peop…
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Do the Watchdog and Possum pathway only activate in protection mode? Are they always protective? NO! It is possible to have safe and connected Watchdog energy and safe and connected Possum energy! Why does this distinction matter? In this episode, you’ll learn What safe and connected watchdog energy feels like What safe and connected possum energy …
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Welcome to today's episode where I dive deep into Pillar 3 of my upcoming book, "It's Never Just About the Behaviour." This pillar focuses on the importance of compassion in classroom management, but not in the way you might expect. I will explore actionable, compassionate pedagogy that moves beyond traditional exclusionary practices. In this episo…
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather and Kerissa chat with Dr. Donna Henderson about digging deeper into the characteristics of autism that may be missed by traditional assessments. Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical neuropsychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly th…
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What does my child need for their success to be inevitable? If I wanted to paint the top of a 20 foot wall, I’d rent some scaffolding. Scaffolding makes the floor higher and would get me as close to the top of the wall as I needed. The scaffolding would help make my success inevitable. It’s not the only thing I need to be successful (paint would co…
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Welcome to this week’s episode! If you missed last week, head back and catch up, because this is week 2 of digging into pillars from my new book, It’s Never Just About the Behaviour, which is available for pre-order and will be released at the end of June/start of July. In this episode, I'll be focusing on Pillar 2: Be Calm. One of the most impactf…
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Janet Nordine is a registered play therapist, adoptee, and mental health activist working tirelessly to improve children’s mental health services, specifically in the state of Nevada. Janet has an important message for adoptees that I think is relevant to all kids and families who are supporting kids with vulnerable nervous systems: There is nothin…
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We all know from 1st grade math that a half plus a half equals 1. But for adoptees, the math doesn’t always add up the way we think it will. At one time I thought that if I could just incorporate my children’s first families into ours, then Tessa and Re...
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Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences. At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned…
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#65: Redefining a strong approach to classroom management: It's about so much more than just the behaviour.
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Welp… it’s happening. The past 670 days have led to me being able to say this next sentence…. NEXT MONTH MY BOOK, 'IT’S NEVER JUST ABOUT THE BEHAVIOUR’, IS FINALLY HITTING THE SHELVES!! It feels like a lifetime ago since I signed the contract above the title ‘author’. The imposter syndrome was real. Author? Me? How the hell am I going to pull this …
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What’s the connected response to {insert difficult behavior here}?? How do I respond to {insert difficult behavior here} in a connected way??? I get some version of this question almost every day. So, let’s answer it here on the podcast! In this episode, you’ll learn What most parents are really asking when they ask ‘what’s the connected response’?…
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It’s normal and common for stress and dysregulation to cause kids to act younger than they really are. This happens to grown-ups too! Simply because it’s normal and common doesn’t mean it’s not very frustrating! In this episode, you’ll learn A neurosequential explanation for regression How to use regression as a cue or a clue about the state of you…
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#64: Conquering the colossal to do-list, embracing imperfection, and being "more like Kerrie". Swimming, surviving, and thriving, with Ashley from Rainbow Sky Creations
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In this episode of The Unteachables Podcast, I sit down with Ashley, a seasoned teacher with 18 years of experience and half of the wonderful Rainbow Sky Creation crew, to discuss practical strategies for managing the demands of teaching. Ashley shares invaluable tips that every teacher, especially those in their early years, can benefit from. From…
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Special Guest: Robyn Gobbel- Big, Baffling Behaviors
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Send us a text In this episode, Heather and Kerissa chat with Robin Goebel, a former therapist and play therapist, about supporting children with big baffling behaviors and vulnerable nervous systems. Robin discusses her shift from focusing solely on trauma to a broader understanding of neurodivergent minds and the impact of the autonomic nervous s…
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#63: Blame my brain! What's behind those big, bad, bold, and downright bloody baffling behaviours.
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In today's episode, we're diving deep into understanding behaviours driven by the stress response. This foundational knowledge is crucial for any teacher looking to transform their classroom into an island of safety for their students which nurtures connection, reduces anxiety, and promotes growth. In this episode, I discuss: 1/ The stress response…
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I’m sure you often feel like ‘getting your kid regulated’ is a very important goal! But- is it? Is regulated the goal? And is it possible to even consider these kinds of questions when we are parenting very dysregulated kids with very dangerous behaviors? In this episode, you’ll learn The difference between a moment of being regulated and having a …
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#62. 'Apathetic' teenagers, post-pandemic classrooms, and finding all the glimmers with Dr Lori Desautels
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On today's episode I speak to the brilliant Dr Lori Desautels to answer one of the big behaviour questions I am often asked... What's going on with apathetic teenage behaviour?! As well as this, we speak about: Neuroplasticity and why it is crucial for teachers to have an understanding around. How we can transform the experiences and education of o…
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Believe it or not, we don’t want to get rid of our kids’ watchdog and possum brains! We want to help their watchdog and possum brain rest so they aren’t working so hard. Their watchdog and possum brains are overworked and overactive. In this episode, you’ll learn Why we must remember that everyone has a watchdog and possum brain How gratitude and a…
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When I work with parents whose child spends a lot of time on the possum pathway, I warn them that sometimes possum kids become watchdog kids before the finally have a nice, strong owl brain. Because watchdog behaviors are often more intense and scarier than possum behaviors, this can feel like your child is ‘getting worse.’ It’s actually a sign of …
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