Audio of Poem - Mother

The Kavanagh Sisters Podcast

Mother

I usually don’t feel anything
even though Its Mother’s Day
my childhood really messed me up
so it’s always been this way

I used to wish you showed me love
I wanted nothing more
I used to long for tenderness
from the woman I adored

It’s a lack in my life that will always remain
I’ve accepted that’s just how it is
I never got to feel your love
so I had to settle for his

Never to know if I was loved
by the woman I called my mother
hurt more than abuse at the hands of the man
who damaged me like no other

With no words from you for most of my life
I drew my own conclusions
no understanding of what I did wrong
left me feeling so much confusion

I’ve grown up now and healed some wounds
with children of my own
if I knew then what I know now
I wouldn’t have felt so alone
It took a long time but I’m different now
I’ve even changed my views
as things became clearer I soon realised
that you were a victim too
Your life was loveless and empty
you did the best you could
I’m proud of how you managed
you did better that I would

I hope I make you proud mam
your life was not in vain
you raised amazing children
who rose above the pain
You showed me what true love is
I didn’t know it then
you tried to protect us
time and time again
You had to close your heart
you couldn’t take any more
but gave your life in service
to the family that you bore
You gave and gave persistently
I just couldn’t see
you had to die before my eyes
before it dawned on me
The truth is mam, my hope for you
is peace and love and laughter
I really hope your happy now
from your loving daughter.

June