Trauma Olympics and the Race for Recognition with Kai Cheng Thom and Nkem Ndefo

The Gently Used Human with Dr. Scott Lyons

Have you ever felt the pressure to prove that your trauma is more severe than others? Or found yourself in situations where experiences of pain and suffering are compared and contrasted in a competitive way?

Welcome to the Trauma Olympics.

Joining Dr. Scott to unpack this intricate subject are Kai Cheng Thom, MSW, MSc, a certified Somatic Sex Educator and acclaimed author, and Nkem Ndefo, MSN, the founder of Lumos Transforms and creator of The Resilience Toolkit. Together, they explore the different forms of Trauma Olympics, including the troubling trends of one-upping and minimizing others' experiences, and the underlying causes such as capitalism, scarcity mentality, and the quest for validation.

They’ll discuss the negative effects of this phenomenon, such as how it splinters social movements and fosters a culture of constant competition over trauma and they’ll delve into the complex politics of trauma disclosure, examining the pressure to share personal experiences for validation and the crucial right to low disclosure.

This conversation is not just an exploration but also a critical examination of our societal and individual approaches to trauma. Whether you've experienced this phenomenon personally or are seeking to understand it better, this episode offers insights, personal stories, and thoughtful analysis on navigating the challenging landscape of the Trauma Olympics.

Get ready for a profound discussion that sheds light on the complexities and dangers of comparing traumas and the importance of respecting individual boundaries and experiences in the journey of healing and resilience.

Topics we break down

• Deep-seated reasons that people choose to engage in Trauma Olympics and comparative victimhood.
• Ways in which capitalism and the scarcity mentality support the zero-sum game of comparison.
• What it might look like to extract trauma from self-identity and how this relates to healing.
• How competitive trauma is incentivized and the dehumanizing effect of hierarchy.
• The difference between trauma acting as a social glue and trauma becoming a social disruptor.
• Cultivating the capacity to relate to people beyond the sensationalist quality of their story.
• Retiring ourselves from the sport of Trauma Olympics by meeting the underlying need.
• How power dynamics influence competitive trauma and create a barrier to reconciliation.
• What might change if we could communicate in a context where everyone wasn’t stretched so thin.