"She Gave Us The Space To Be Ourselves" - with Barrak Alzaid

Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

This study was published at the beginning of 2024, and it talks about the key role of Aunties and 'othermothers' in supporting queer children to flourish by providing emotional and practical support.

Admittedly, it's probably one of those studies that confirms what everyone else has known for years, but it's particularly interesting to me because I didn't grow up with any adult female figures in my life other than my mother (and teachers at school, I suppose, but there's a distance and a power dynamic that means that isn't quite the same).

So, in order to explore this more (and ask all the stupid questions that are bouncing around in my head) I sat down with writer Barrak Alzaid, who told me all about his grandmother, Mama Latifa, whose house acted as a safe haven and magical space for Barrak when he was growing up in 1980s and 90s Kuwait.

Along the way we talk about different cultural understandings of the coming out journey, what happens when that coming out journey doesn't go according to plan, and which of the characters from the 80s cartoon Thundercats is the most shaggable....

Do you have any memories from queer spaces that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod).

Find out more about Barrak by visiting his website (https://barrakalzaid.com/) or follow him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/barrakstar) or X (https://twitter.com/barrakstar)

Key takeaways

• Mama Latifa's house played a significant role in Barrak's understanding of their identity, providing a safe and empowering environment.
• The Western concept of coming out does not neatly align with the societal expectations in Kuwait, where discussions about sexuality are often avoided.
• Barrak's relationship with their mother has evolved over time, with open dialogue and understanding.
• The limitations and challenges faced by queer individuals in Kuwait highlight the importance of safe spaces and the need for acceptance and support. Creating safe and liberatory spaces can have a profound impact on individuals' personal growth and self-expression.
• Family meals and gatherings can foster a sense of togetherness and provide a space for individuals to be themselves.
• Having a supportive and accepting environment can help individuals develop a strong sense of self-assuredness.
• The freedom to play and consume subversive media can contribute to personal growth and self-expression.