Sitting Down With Kim Kelly of Local Women’s Magazine

Jo & JJ Go Mental

This week, we sit down with Kim Kelly, managing editor of Local Women’s Magazine in Northern Ireland, to talk about multiple issues such as the worrying level of suicide among young men in Northern Ireland. We discuss the social attitudes and stories we learn that dictate our behavior, dealing with narcissists, teaching our kids how to be decent people, and dating in your forties while actually having fun!

Takeaway:

[5:02] Local Women’s Magazine shines a spotlight on the awesome women doing big things all around the world. The photoshoots are of ordinary women, and the readers are outspoken and very involved.

[7:37] The suicide rates for young men in Northern Ireland are particularly high and mental health is a massive issue in our community.

[13:37] Globally, there is a gross lack of emotional intelligence skills.

[14:10] There are many aspects of mental health that we don't talk about openly. Jo’s particular mission is to get more people talking about burnout at work. We don’t talk enough about burnout, and many people are left feeling ashamed and isolated rather than supported and able to learn how to fully relax and manage stress.

[18:02] Kim talks about her time working for the tabloid press, and the realization that we need to focus more on what we can do instead of focusing on our limitations and setbacks. Too often she would lead a conversation by telling everyone all the things that she couldn’t do.

[22:06] When you have a system for internal validation, it is quite freeing and you can better focus on being competent and aligned with your values and spend less time worrying about if you are likeable.

[26:22] Of course culture makes a difference (both Jo and Kim grew up in Northern Ireland during the Troubles, and there is a lot of baggage that comes with that), but J.J. discusses choosing your values and acting according to that. It doesn’t take away from the emotions we feel, but it’s up to us to change our story and know today is a brand new day to step out and even inspire others to live in their truest form.

[32:53] The stories we tell ourselves are often just one version of the truth, and there can be many different ways to approach them.

[35:32] Brilliant idea alert: when dealing with a narcissist, it is extremely powerful to just nod, agree, and not engage in an argument. Often their ranting will simply be down to them trying to get you to manage their stress. Another way to handle narcissists is to learn to accept that they will misperceive YOU to be the asshole in the relationship.

[39:30] Don’t get into it with delusional people! It’s not effective and will just create more resistance and is overall a waste of time.

[46:41] There is a dire need for more social learning in schools, as human social skills are everything for adapting in life and learning how to better navigate almost any situation.

Connect With Us:

Joanna Denton | Dr. JJ Kelly

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Local Women’s

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Research on likeability or competence