How to Raise a Child Who Speaks Up (and Banters) (video)

I Am The WORST Parent Ever podcast

Marshall Swift’s simple declaration stopped me in my tracks. It was one of those slow-motion moments that hit extra-hard because I was feeling lower than low. "You should talk more. You have great ideas" was the knockout statement that I (Robert) received from my professor during my training in psychology. I admit that I was blindsided by this educator's comment. I really didn’t know what to make of it.

Have you ever received a compliment or encouragement that you couldn’t just brush off? (Robert is proud to share the full story in his recent TEDx talk, ‘Embrace Your Superpowers’)

How do you express how awesome your child is and how much faith you have in their brilliance? Sharing your pride or saying "I love you" is awesome, but it's overused and sometimes lacks luster. "Good job" is nice, but who wants to merely be doing "good"?

How would you tell your daughter (or son) that her words, perspective, feelings, and opinions really MATTER, that you believe that she has greatness to contribute to this world?

Try getting more curious. Ask questions. Then try, "You should talk more. You have great ideas." We cannot think of an expression that would be more effective.

When someone takes the time to go beyond surface-level kindness jargon, it makes a difference. You can make that person feel like they matter. You can be a huge motivator, and it can benefit you and the receiver of the encouraging remark.

For a very long time, as Robert shares in his TEDx talk, he hid his voice instead of finding it and using it, as so many of us did (or still do).

Nicole also talks about finding and using your voice. In fact, she wrote an article, ‘Dear Little Girl with the Smart Mouth,’ to encourage young girls and all children to learn and abide by 'smart mouth' rules such as spreading kindness, not hate or negativity, always speaking the truth, being mindful before you speak, never allowing yourself to be silenced by someone else’s voice and many others.

Ask yourself these questions (even when you are speaking with other adults):

Are you and your children on the same channel? Are you listening as much as you are talking?

In this episode of the ‘I Am the Worst Parent Ever’ podcast, Robert suggests strategies for encouraging an engaged conversation partner, be it another adult or your pint-sized offspring.

Listen in to hear Robert’s and Nicole’s take on how and why adults must find and use their voice and how to raise children who know how to speak up, banter, and listen.