How to Change Your Kids Behavior (video)

I Am The WORST Parent Ever podcast

You’ll never hear Nicole raise her voice to her kids… at least not when they’re out shopping at Publix! Does she yell at home sometimes? Sure, but not out in public. If we can’t keep our composure across different settings, why do we expect our kids to be as good at home as they are at school?

Their teacher says, “She’s so helpful.” We pick them up from playdates to hear, “Your kids are SO polite!” They MUST use up all their character strengths of kindness and helpfulness during the school day because once they get in the car or cross the threshold of our home, they flip into Crazy Mode. All that good behavior and politeness is LONG GONE. Was it an act? Did they use it all up?

Where did it go?

Nicole is careful not to criticize the kid but chooses instead to label the behavior. She admits that she is quick to blame herself: “Before I became a parent, I just never realized how much MY behavior and My actions affected my kids.”

She knows that each of her kids want and need AND DESERVE her full attention. But there is only one of her at any given moment. She can’t give them all the love and attention they need.

She and Robert both know that a mom’s and dad’s behavior is a determining factor in how their kids behave. But it is NOT the CAUSE. Kids are still their own agents, makers of their own decisions, drivers of their own actions.

So she thinks like a teacher. She restates the rules at home, she creates more structure, and she sets up incentives like the ones her kids get at school. But nothing really changes.

When none of that works, Nicole repeats her favorite mantra: “This, too, shall pass.”

In this episode of the ‘I Am The Worst Parent Ever’ podcast, listen in to hear how you can get some outside perspective that can help you influence your kids’ behavior. Take a step back and don’t let it make you crazy. That way you can begin see what your kids’ behavior looks like through their eyes. If you can meet them where they are, you have a much better chance of guiding change.