80: Using Emotional Intelligence to Resolve Conflict and Keep Your Cool w/ Doug Noll

Drop the BS w/ Dr. Kirleen

It seems that conflict is all around us these days, from political discord to conflict on the job, to fights with partners. The interesting thing is if asked, most people would say the one thing we want more than anything else is peace. However, if that’s the case, then why does it seem that so many of us are having trouble controlling tempers, comprising, and finding the peace they say they want. Some research would say it's because we have not been taught the power of using emotional intelligence to harness peace. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. I’ve brought in Doug Noll to help us dissect this topic. He’s a lawyer, speaker, and author, Doug has spent much of his life examining human conflict. His latest book, De-Escalate, helps people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. This is a must-listen-to interview. He truly shares nuggets of wisdom.
Guest
Doug Noll is an award-winning lawyer, mediator, author, teacher, speaker, and trainer who has mediated thousands of conflicts. After serving as a civil trial lawyer for 22 years, Doug is passionate about understanding human conflict. His groundbreaking work in de-escalating anger in potentially violent confrontations has transformed lives everywhere, including in maximum-security prisons. Doug’s fourth book, De-Escalate, is now available in four languages.
Key Takeaways
1. All conflict can be resolved in 90 seconds or less
2. We must address the emotions before we address the problem
3. Ignore the words and read the emotion
Research on the Topic
Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, reason, understand, and manage emotion (Cherry, 2020). While some argue that we are born with a set level of emotional intelligence, others argue that it is a skill that can be strengthened with knowledge and practice. Much research points to the latter argument, and programs for social and emotional learning have become standard curriculum in many schools. Gaining a greater understanding of emotional intelligence can have many benefits. Strengthening and understanding emotional intelligence helps you to think before you react to situations, maintain a greater sense of self-awareness, and have more empathy than others. To improve your emotional intelligence, it’s important to listen, empathize, and reflect the emotions of those around you as well as yourself. Overall, working to improve your emotional intelligence is beneficial in many, if not all, aspects of life.
Want More?
Check out episode 72: Exploring Mindfulness, Meditation, and Manifestation with Mahima for more information on keeping your cool in stressful times!
Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show:
Doug Noll https://dougnoll.com/
BackStory Masterclass Sign Up https://neely-counseling-center-plc.ck.page/93288607ab
Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/