Self-Sabotaging Relationships: 5 Signs

Dr Sarah: Heal Trauma Bonding

5 Top reasons why you may unknowingly enable your toxic relationship
I often hear from clients about the difficulty of taking responsibility, especially when you're stuck in a victim mindset, hoping someone else, like a therapist or partner, will save you. Sometimes, it's easier to wait for rescue than to be your own rescuer. This brings me to the topic of enabling toxic relationships and how you might unknowingly be a part of it.

First, think about whether you're suppressing your own needs. Are you so scared of upsetting your partner that you keep your feelings to yourself? This is a big sign of enabling a toxic relationship because you're not acknowledging your own importance.

Second, consider self-gaslighting. You might start doubting your reality, convincing yourself that your partner's questionable behavior is okay. This happens when your partner invalidates your feelings and you begin to accept their version of events over your own.

Third, convincing your social circle that everything is fine when it's not can also enable toxicity. You might try to paint an idealized picture of your relationship to friends and family, who then unknowingly support you staying in an unhealthy situation.

Fourth, there's what I call the martyr syndrome, where you believe that enduring suffering for the relationship is a form of strength. You might justify your pain with the hope of a better future, but sacrificing yourself for a relationship isn't true happiness.

Finally, being overly empathic can make you a rescuer, forgiving your partner's harmful behavior and ignoring your own suffering. This not only minimizes their responsibility but also perpetuates the toxic dynamics.

Remember, it's about empowering yourself to recognize and address these patterns for your well-being and growth. Let's work towards healthy, fulfilling relationships where both partners are valued and respected.

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LinkedIn Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies
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