8 | What Am I Doing Wrong? How To Get Out of Your Own Way When It Comes To Attracting a Healthy Relationship

Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns | Codependent Traits, Heal Heartbreak, Red Flags, Boundaries, Narcissistic Partner

Do you keep looking for the reason you’re not attracting the right parter?
You might find your brain looping, trying to work out what it is you’re doing ‘wrong’.
Maybe other people have told you you’re ‘too picky’, or seem too this and not enough that… one gorgeous lady I work with said people told her she was too TALL! As if!!!
The answer seems so elusive that sometimes we just assume it’s something inherent in us, like we’re just not meant to find a partner… like we’re not made to be loved or something.
We forget how divine we are.
What miracles for being here we are.
As babies we know how loveable we are without fear or shame - we demand love, affection, nourishment and rest all day long without a doubt that it is our birthright.
Babies remind us of the hope, the possibility of our own human experience - they actually remind us of everything we have inside us too, because everything we see and love about someone else is always a reflection of a part of us that holds the same qualities (otherwise we couldn’t recognise it).
The problem though is as we grow up, our fearful ego mind develops and tries to make a rule book for life so that we stay alive… and the main way our brains are wired to do this is via human connection, which requires being accepted.
We become more self-aware and learn that some things we do are accepted by our adult caregivers… and some are not.
So, some things we do result in a response from them that make us feel loved, and some do not.
We (incorrectly) make that mean that some things we do make us loveable - and some do not.
You might have spotted the error here in how our child mind has interpreted things; we learned that being loved had to be earned, it wasn’t just inherent in us.
In short, we separated ourselves from our inherent lovableness.
SO… there’s a very good reason searching for an answer to what’s wrong with you makes your brain loop and trip like a DVD with scratches on it.
There’s nothing wrong with you - it’s the wrong question!
It’s time to let go of those incoherent, limiting beliefs and to start asking better questions that elevate you - listen on in to Ep. 8 to discover exactly what those are.
I hope this brings you closer to the love and life you’re meant for -
Remy xox

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Intro/Outro Track: Sweet Memory by JayJen & Enine