REPLAY: Adoptee Remembrance Day Virtual Candlelight Vigil - Ep 121

Unraveling Adoption

While I'm away this Thanksgiving week, I wanted to make the recording of our recent Adoptee Remembrance Day vigil available to you all. The live Zoom event was on October 30, 2023. Hear powerful personal stories, emotional poetry, and calls for greater awareness of adoptee suicide, murder, and deportation.

TO WATCH THE VIDEO OF THE EVENT, click here: https://youtu.be/uun76F2JQpE

TO ACCESS THE WRITTEN PROGRAM FOR THE EVENT, click here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vAkPZW1duk8UlOFhWIfS0ki5xJldn88CtRVJiq9jYwg/edit?usp=sharing

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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar

✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX

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SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES:

• 988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Call 988 or go to https://988lifeline.org/

• "Adoptees are Dying, But Adoption Agencies Continue to Neglect Our Cries" - Essay by ARD creator Pamela Karanova: https://therealadopteamoxie.substack.com/p/adoptees-are-dying-but-adoption-agencies

• Adoption and Suicide Prevention: Adult Adoptees Speak Out - Video from AFFCNY: https://www.affcny.network/posts/rebroadcast-adoption-and-suicide-prevention-adult-adoptees-speak-out-agape-monthly-educational-trainings-33532586

• Ask Us Anything About Suicidality - Video from Beth Syverson and Frank King, with Joey Nakao: https://youtu.be/5SrnyyT9Jh4

• Chronic Suicidality with Frank King - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558560

• Psych Hospitals & Suicidal Ideation - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode with Joey Nakao: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558716

• Toward Preventing Adoption-Related Suicide- essay by Mirah Riben: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toward-preventing-adoptio_b_8127882?fbclid=IwAR37CB0IuVD8rRy-ACkUiHhvH9o-Qo2-RotQ1UfkXLN0LDt8LSCU5OHy6X4

OTHER RESOURCES FROM OUR PRESENTERS:

• Rent Rebecca Autumn Sansom's documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.vhx.tv/buy/reckoning-with-the-primal-wound-2

• Unraveling Adoption is organizing a panel discussion called "Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation: How psychedelic journeys can heal trauma" on December 3. Free tickets and more information here: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com

• Healing the Adoption Constellation Database - find all kinds of practitioners who work with adoptees, birth parents, and/or adoptive parents: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing

I'm so grateful to be in community with you all as we delve deeply into these difficult topics around adoption trauma, suicidality, murder, deportation, and the deep pain that most adoptees feel. Please reach out to me or someone you trust if you are feeling dysregulated after hearing or watching this recording. It's important but heavy material to process!

Other resources:

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

• Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

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Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:02 - Introduction Beth introduces the episode and explains that it will be a recording of the Adoptee Remembrance Day service from October 30, 2023. She encourages listeners to watch the video for a more immersive experience. 00:01:26 - Purpose of Adoptee Remembrance Day Beth explains that Adoptee Remembrance Day was created to raise awareness of crimes against adoptees, honor the lives of those lost, and bring attention to adoptee suicide and the issue of international adoptees living without citizenship. 00:04:31 - Self-care and Support Beth emphasizes the importance of self-care during the emotional event and encourages listeners to reach out for support if needed. She also provides the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number. 00:05:01 - Grounding Exercise Beth guides listeners through a grounding exercise to connect with their hearts, the present participants, and the adoption community. 00:05:25 - Adoptee Remembrance Day 2020 Adoptee Moses Farrow shares a touching video he made 3 years ago, the first Adoptee Remembrance Day. 00:09:35 - "Out of the Adoption Fog" Emily Alber shares her poem and artwork 00:10:42 - "A Very Important Day" Christine Warmus Murphy reads a poem about her adopted brother who died by suicide. 00:13:42 - Excerpt from Side by Side: Out of a Korean Orphanage and Into the World Glenn Morey's film project provides many stories of Korean adoptees. This one is a young woman who attempted suicide. 00:17:13 - "Landon" Janell Strube reads a poem she wrote about Landon Maloberti, a young boy who was murdered by his adoptive parents. 00:19:23 - "My Other Loss" Liz DeBetta reads her poem and shares her artwork 00:23:08 - Honoring her daughter Jane Birth mother Lorraine Dusky reflects about her relinquished daughter's difficult life that ended in suicide. 00:27:37 - "Ungrateful" Ande Scott reads her poem 00:29:30 - Reckoning with the Primal Wound Filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom introduces the trailer to her adoption documentary 00:31:58 - "Why I Write Poetry" Poet Michael Grenfell shares his work 00:33:32 - "What Will Become of My Mother Birth mother Mimi Janes reads a poem by Beth Brown 00:38:08 - "Dying to Know" from For the Records Chance Ibáñez, Joel Ibáñez, and Beth Syverson perform a song from Rich Uhrlaub's new adoption musical 00:43:55 - "Be Grateful You Weren't Adopted" Peter Capomolla Moore shares his poem 00:47:26 - Honoring her son Ray Birth mother Laura Engel shares the story of her reunion with her son who later died by suicide 00:53:35 - Opportunity to donate to Adoptees Connect; with "Worth It" Attendees are urged to donate to Pamela Karanova's nonprofit organization at AdopteesConnect.org while Joseph Nakao's music video is played 00:56:42 - Excerpt from "Being Adopted" Collective art project by Nicole Rademacher, with background music by Joseph Nakao 00:59:54 - "Integration" Liz DeBetta reads a second poem she wrote 01:03:57 - Silence and Lighting Our Path Forward After a moment of silence, the attendees observed a moment of silence, then lifted our candles up to the camera. Emily Alber's artwork was displayed during this section 01:04:59 - Gratitude and Dismissal A reminder to be gentle with ourselves and to care for the adoptees in our lives. If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out to the suicidal crisis lifeline (988) or the adoption community. Every individual is valuable, and we need you all here. Gratitude is expressed for the adoptees and birth parents who participated in the event. Attendees are encouraged to pour themselves into supporting adoptees with compassion and effective advocacy. Mental health support is available through the Adoption Constellation database. (UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing) In honor of Beth's son's intention, participants are invited to unmute themselves and say "stay safe." Emphasizing the importance of mental health, they encourage everyone to take care of themselves and seek support when needed.