EP 64: Coping is Not Healing: Making Sense of the Pain with Natalie Gutierrez Part 2

The Unburdened Leader

The mental load we all carry right now is next level.

But just because this load is invisible does not make it any less important.

Kids, pets, aging family members, school, work, the economy, democracy, access to safe and affordable health care, chronic health issues - the list goes on and on, and feels like it keeps piling on without relief or end in sight.

On top of this, we carry past pains and difficult life experiences too.

And most of us don’t realize how much pain we carry until we end up on the brink.

Many people face systemic barriers that make that load heavier, and don’t have access to time and resources to find relief. And we’re also bombarded with messages like, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” that make carrying a lot a badge of honor.

What if our places of work cultivated spaces that supported healing instead of perpetuating over-functioning and over-working?

If you want to cultivate spaces that have a greater capacity for discomfort, then you need to start with an audit of your own current capacity and all you are carrying.

Today, Natalie Gutierrez is back for part two of our conversation about her book, The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color, and a deeper dive into the impact of carrying pain because of unaddressed trauma, toxic culture, and unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others.

Natalie Gutierrez (she/her) is a Puerto-Rican psychotherapist, author, and speaker who grew up in native Lenape land, now known as New York City. Much of her work is dedicated to providing trauma-informed psychotherapy to Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color/Mixed race. She works with adult individuals struggling with Complex PTSD. She is a proud mother of two, and a growing equestrian.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How the imperative for urgency - fueled by supremacy culture - makes rest feel uncomfortable or even threatening
• How rest creates a “thaw” around our exiled feelings that can make us want to retreat into busyness
• How Natalie has learned to approach feelings of “not enough,” imposter experience, and self-criticism in a healing way
• How Natalie has cultivated a healing relationship with herself and her body
• How Natalie is redefining success through the lens of authenticity

Learn more about Natalie Gutierrez:

• Mindful Journeys Marriage & Family Therapy
• Instagram: @nataliegutierrezlmft
• The Pain We Carry: Healing from Complex PTSD for People of Color

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• The Unburdened Leader Ep 29: Frank Anderson, MD - Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability - Part 2
• The Unburdened Leader Ep 27: Frank Anderson, MD - Challenging the Fear of Rejection and Leading with Vulnerability - Part 1
• Espiritismo: Puerto Rican Mediumship & Magic, Hector Salva
• Bad Bunny