S04E03 The Perils and Power of Perfectionism

The Leader Learner Podcast

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SPOTLIGHTED BOOK: The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler
GUEST READER : Viktoriia Berezhna
CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• Perfectionism evolves over time when we challenge our beliefs
• Preparing does help, but doesn't change perfectionism
• The 5 Kinds of Perfectionists : Classic, Intense, Messy, Procrastinator, Parisian
• Intense - really high expectations for self and others and get intense if expectations not met
• Procrastinator Perfectionist - wait until it's flawless before putting it out there
• Are there differences in how perfectionism shows up based on your age?
• Perfectionism being external - meeting invisible standards
• The role of social media on perfectionism
• When you're driven by what other people think
• Small towns, gossip, and the connection to perfectionism
• Living in integrity means letting go of perfectionism
• When you take something that's perfect in your head and move to create it in the real world
• Are we afraid of the reality not meeting our vision, or the feelings that come up
• Perfectionism connected to shame, regret, grief, etc.
• Not calling ourselves as a "Recovering Perfectionism"
• Can you see perfectionism as a super-power? Use perfectionism in an adaptive and maladaptive way.
• Positive sides of perfectionism
• When you work in a team and how perfectionism styles collide
• Perfectionism is not an illness
• Seeing the gifts in your individual perfectionism
• Power in the self-awareness of your perfectionism
• Purposely making mistakes to "cure" perfectionism
• Different contexts drive different perfectionist tendency
• How do we become a perfectionist? Conditioning from parents, society, etc.
• What we do to make our parents feel proud.
• Coping mechanisms vary depend on the type of perfectionist you are
• Knowing who you are as a way to help you cope
• Keep self moving and out of over-thinking - preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing, making a list about what to do is also not doing the thing
• Repeated action - just start.
• Do something in which you never expect yourself to be perfect. Purposely be bad.
• Whose yardstick are you measuring yourself by?
• Whose rules are you living by? Can you break some of them?
• How do you know if you are striving in a healthy way or in a perfectionist way?

OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:

• Playing Big by Tara Mohr
• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

GUEST BIO:
Viktoriia is a product designer with a passion for creating impactful and user-friendly solutions. With over two years of experience at her current workplace as a Design Team Lead, she is exploring her path as a leader. Currently, she's building a startup called Bookclub VR, an Extended Reality app designed for reading and book clubs, alongside an incredible team of professionals.
Beyond her work, I’m passionate about reading fiction, playing all kinds of racket sports (with a special love for table tennis), and constantly surface-learning new and interesting things, all while still being deeply connected to her journey in design.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/viktoriiaberezhnaya/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/bookclubvr/

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