Ep #159: When You're Mean to Yourself

Speak Up. Show Up.

It’s common for us to think that telling ourselves we aren’t good enough will motivate us to do better work, perform better. And interestingly, there is some truth to that. Research does show that people who are realistic about what they need to do to perform at their highest level are likely to perform better than those who are overconfident.

That said, being mean to ourselves is never helpful. When we go from a clear, focused plan for improvement to berating ourselves and telling ourselves all the ways we’ve failed, done something wrong or aren’t capable of delivering no matter what we do… that’s a recipe for a whole lot of stuckness and lower (or complete lack of) performance.

Speaking on great stages, writing your book, delivering a presentation at work… having that difficult conversation with your boss, your teenager or partner… these can all be difficult experiences. We need to be our own ally - our own best support and coach.

I’ve seen clients go from paralyzed to proud of their delivery more than I can count, after they see what we talk about in this podcast episode.

In this episode, you’ll find:

• What research says about self-talk and performance
• The first most important thing to see when you are being mean to yourself
• Why we say mean things to ourselves in the first place (and why it never works)
• A simple process to engage when you notice you are being especially mean to yourself so you can get back into your best performance (no matter what you are saying or doing at the time)
• How we don’t necessarily have to change our thoughts to get right back into flow and high performance (and why that’s such great news!)

This process and way of seeing our thoughts and self-talk has been life-changing for me and many of my clients. I hope you find it helpful, too!

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