The Art Of Thriving Online with Amelia Knott

Become A Calm Mama

Today on the podcast, registered psychotherapist, art therapist and author Amelia Knott is helping us discover the art of thriving online and sharing ways to reconnect with yourself, your thoughts and your sense of wellbeing.

You’ll Learn:

• Common challenges that result from the online space and being constantly connected
• How to reconcile the good and bad of the internet and social media
• What art therapy is and how it helps us connect with ourselves and our needs
• Ideas for starting your own creative practice

Even (or especially) if you don’t think of yourself as an artist, stick around. This is not like your middle school art class!

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Amelia Knott is a Registered Psychotherapist + Art Therapist. She's also an artist, content creator and author. Her book The Art Of Thriving Online was recently published. Her mission is to support people in their mental health by combining psychotherapy, counseling and art making.

Art as Therapy

Amelia’s passion for this work came from profound experiences as a young person who was given the opportunity to use her creativity to work through significant grief and trauma.

She explains that, for many of us, language can feel quite limiting. It can be difficult to put our feelings into words. But art, whether it be writing, collaging, painting, drawing or any other creative medium, allows us to tap into our intuition and deeper parts of ourselves.

Art creates another access point to emotional regulation, communication, self soothing and self awareness. It has the capacity to surprise us when we look at something from another vantage point and helps us grapple with two things being true at the same time.

Art gives us agency in what type of art we create, what materials we use and what we choose to do with them. It allows us to practice being imperfect without consequences.

Whereas a drawing or painting class is focused on teaching a technical skill (and may end up making you feel like you aren’t a creative person at all), art therapy is much more about how the process feels. The final product isn’t so important. It’s about finding meaning in creating it.

Challenges in the Online World

In her new book, The Art of Thriving Online, Amelia helps us bring awareness to how our online existence might be impacting us.

While we both agree that there is a lot of value to the online space, it also comes with a lot of challenges. In many cases, it messes with our attention, sets an unrealistic standard and gives the sense that the world is more divided, scary and dangerous than it actually is.

Pretty much all online platforms, from social media to ecommerce and news websites, are designed to keep us engaged for as long as possible. They’re also designed to make it hard to stop. There’s no limit to what you could discover or feel inspired by, which means there’s also no limit to the things you could miss out on. You could scroll forever, but it often pulls us away from what we truly want and need.

Because of this pull and easy access to a screen that is distracting us in 10 different ways at once, our attention is fractured. It becomes hard for us to focus and actually get stuff done, which leads to overwhelm. We’re no longer accustomed to spending time getting a task or set of tasks done all at once.

Our nervous systems get activated by the type of information we’re fed online. In an effort to hold our attention, more “captivating” content (i.e. content that is inflammatory, divisive, negative or scary) is usually pushed out more readily than positive and hopeful posts and articles.

Comparison is also a huge challenge in the online space, particularly on social media. We’re not just comparing ourselves to people we see in real life (which can be unhealthy already). We’re comparing ourselves to curated, filtered feeds. The pressure we feel to do things differently or better can be devastating. This is a big one in motherhood, especially if moms are isolated.

Defining Wellness

Wellness means something different for each of us. Amelia talks about helping people become the author of their own definition of wellness. She doesn’t believe in a one-size-fits-all solution. Rather, it’s something we all have to figure out for ourselves.

A lot of what we see about wellness online are things that can be sold, performed or shown. But what about creating metrics like how many books you read with your kids this week or how many times you got out into nature?

What does it mean for you to be well? How will you know if you’re well? She says, “if we don’t author those definitions for ourselves, then the default is gonna be whatever performs well in an algorithm.”

It’s also important to be flexible, give ourselves grace and know that our definition will evolve and change. It’s not a failure if you can’t keep up with a new habit. It might just be a sign that you’re paying attention to what is and isn’t useful for you.

The Art of Thriving Online

Amelia likes to start conversations about the internet by validating that your time online is harmful AND it’s also deeply meaningful. Our lives are so entangled in these tools that our goal should really be to collaborate with them. The challenge is in how we hold the messiness - the fact that it’s not all good or all bad. It’s both.

The challenges are real, but there is also potential for so much discovery, inspiration and connection. There are great conversations happening around mental health and the challenges of parenthood, helping to reduce stigma and calling out some of the toxic parts of our culture.

But when we pick up the phone at every possible moment to avoid ourselves or boredom, we miss out on the chance to let insights and meaning come at a natural pace.

When people dedicate time to an art experience, it gives their minds a chance to wander and daydream. Amelia says that in that space, ideas and reflections really start to get integrated into the brain. For example, after a therapy session, rather than jotting down some notes and moving on to the next thing, Amelia likes to block off 20 minutes or so to create something with no plan. It gives the brain a chance to make sense of what just happened.

You don’t have to make a giant abstract painting or detailed drawing to experience the benefits of art. There are so many ways to create moments of delight in your daily life. Explore with art, nature, journaling, music, cooking, homemaking or anything else that interests you. It can be as simple as picking a flower from the yard and putting it in a cup where you’ll see it throughout the day.

One of Amelia’s favorite ways is to do a creative practice where the decisions are already made, like paint-by-number, a coloring book or crochet. These activities are tactile, rhythmic and repetitive, so you’re not having to analyze or problem solve.

The Art of Thriving Online is more than just a book you read. In this interactive guide, Amelia has combined research, personal stories and lots of art and writing prompts to help you learn about yourself and reconcile your relationship with the time you spend online.

You’ll look at how it impacts your attention, how you feel about productivity and privacy, comparison, fear, anger and disinformation. You’ll end up with a better sense of what feels true and needed for you, which you’ll describe in a final statement Amelia calls the “gentle manifesto”.

As moms, we get so focused on taking care of our kids that it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves as individuals. Tapping into your creativity is a wonderful self care practice to understand who you are and what you like.

Connect with Amelia Knott:

• Learn more about Amelia and her work on her website at: https://www.arttherapyinreallife.com/
• Follow her on Instagram and Tiktok @art_therapy_irl
• Buy Amelia’s book: The Art of Thriving Online: A Workbook: Creative Exercises to Help You Stay Grounded and Feel Joy in the World of Social Media

Resources:

• Episode 144: Get Your Brain to Do More and Rest Better

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