The truth about owning your desires: Insights on midlife sexuality

Pause To Go Podcast: What You Need to Know About Menopause and Midlife Transitions

This week's interview is with Wendy Leigh, an insightful educator and intimacy coach who has made it her mission to help individuals claim ownership of their desires and strengthen their self-awareness. With a previous career in nonprofit leadership development and a personal journey of redefining her own sexuality, Wendy is uniquely positioned to guide clients through an exploration of their own sexual experiences and relationships. Her work encourages open dialogue, acceptance and understanding, promoting a more balanced and whole life for each individual and enabling them to forge authentic and meaningful connections with their partners and themselves.

This is Wendy Leigh's story:

When Wendy Leigh’s marriage came to an end, she courageously decided to face life head-on and attend a transformative sensuality retreat. There, Wendy realized that she could take control of her own desires and prioritize her self-awareness, ultimately leading to a happier and more fulfilling life. Armed with her newfound knowledge, Wendy began sharing her experiences with others, helping them to embrace their own desires and strengths with confidence. Through her unyielding determination to be true to herself and empower others, Wendy Leigh proves that prioritizing one's self-awareness can lead to an incredible journey of growth and happiness.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover techniques for empowering oneself in midlife through sexual exploration.
• Learn the significance of embracing personal desires and making self-awareness a priority.
• Gain insights on addressing the societal stigma around sexuality and sensuality, especially for women.
• Understand Wendy Leigh's approach to enhancing self-awareness and aligning resources with goals.
• Uncover the specifics about Wendy's program, Seggscamp, and its role in educating and exploring human sexuality.

As Bree's friend Beatrix Ost says, "In Your Body is a Good Place to Be"

Trusting one's body and acknowledging its wisdom is critical for cultivating a healthy relationship with one's sexuality and desires. This involves being mindful of past experiences that may have shaped present attitudes and beliefs, and learning to release any lingering shame and doubts. Wendy emphasizes the importance of understanding triggers, accepting the body as a safe place, and allowing oneself the freedom to explore and enjoy their sexuality fully. She contends that this process may be gradual and cannot be rushed but results in increased self-awareness, personal fulfillment, and a more profound sense of connection with oneself and others.

The Importance of Role Models and Breaking Stigmas

Societal stigmas surrounding midlife sexuality, particularly for women, can create significant barriers to self-awareness and exploration. Breaking down these stigmas and challenging societal norms are essential for fostering a healthier, more accepting attitude towards sexuality at any age. Wendy and Bree both stress the importance of dispelling these societal misconceptions and replacing them with positive role models and examples. By doing so, individuals can feel less isolated and more encouraged to explore their sexuality without fear of judgment or shame. Wendy's work as a educator aims to provide people with the support and resources needed to engage in such discussions and make informed decisions about their sexuality.

One Step to Boost Libido and Confidence

Taking small steps to improve one's self-esteem and libido can help individuals feel more confident and empowered in their sexuality. These steps may include exploring one's body through touch, music, and other sensory experiences that promote a sense of well-being and connection. Wendy suggests that even simple actions, such as wearing matching underwear, can provide a sense of empowerment and self-care. She encourages people to use all five senses to connect with their bodies and create a more present, immersive experience. By engaging in these activities, individuals can boost their confidence and reignite their passion as they navigate the complexities of midlife.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

• What Bree's reading — Elise Loehnen’s Book “On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good” https://bookshop.org/p/books/on-our-best-behavior-the-seven-deadly-sins-and-the-price-women-pay-to-be-good-elise-loehnen/19248307
• Sign up for Seggscamp (https://www.seggscamp.com) and use the code Pausetogo for a discount!

• Here’s Wendy’s blog post that is all about tapping into pleasure: https://centeredsexuality.com/back-to-basics-another-look-at-5-simple-pleasures/.

Did you like this episode? Check out these next!

• ”How Can I Do Me Better?" a conversation with Jessica Childs https://www.pausetogopodcast.com/how-can-i-do-me-better-a-conversation-with-jessica-childs-on-lyme-disease-and-perimenopause-holding-boundaries-or-not-with-integrity-and-showing-up-with-vulnerability-and-presence/

• In Your Body Is a Good Place to Be: A Conversation about Love and Creativity with Beatrix Ost https://www.pausetogopodcast.com/in-your-body-is-a-good-place-to-be-a-conversation-about-love-and-creativity-with-beatrix-ost/