GMing Anxiety (Episode 95)

On the Shoulders of Dwarves

In this episode we will speak of the phenomenon of “GMing Anxiety”. DIsclaimer: We are not therapists or psychologists. So, what we will do in this episode is present some issues that we encountered and how we dealt with it. Remember: Anxiety is what we feel, not what is actually happening. It’s an emotional reaction to outside stimuli, but it does not mean it’s a *good reflection* of what’s actually going on. # Uri’s take (01:00) I think that GMing anxiety is a mixture of two dominant issues: **What is Imposter Syndrome? (03:55)** “the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills”. There isn’t a bachelor degree in GMing. We don’t have an external reaffirmation for being a good GM. and even if we did it wouldn’t matter. **How Uri deals with imposter syndrome:** Keep a list of success and failures - At any work I had, I created two folders. One is called Ego and the other is called Hubris. Whenever I mess up I put something into the hubris folder. It might be a screenshot of an error, a copy of an apology I sent. **What is Performance Anxiety? (08:09)** The fear that you will not be able to perform well in a specific task. Stage fright falls under this category and I had to deal with that very strongly as an Improv artist. **How Uri Deals with Performance Anxiety** - Failure and success as a spectrum: A sentence that a friend once told me about an improv show “relax, You haven’t done you worst or best show yet”. I find that strangely comforting. It reminds me that yea, everything can go up in smoke but there is also a chance that everything will be amazing. - Accept that there are external forces: when I fail at something I literally say “well, that a natural one, shit”. It reminds me that there are a 1000 things not in my control as a GM. and they all affect the game. One player having a bad day could ruin the session for everyone. But we, the GMs, will still blame ourselves for it. - Level: if you’re thirty, you are a level 30 human. I bet that you’re really good at being a human. Using all your muscles and breathing and such. If you’re GMing for 4 years you’re a level 4 GM. and trust me, you weren’t such a great example of a human when you were 4. Give yourself some room to improve. - Share & vent: find some sort of support group to share with. Some people do it to get some positivity, I usually do it for the other viewpoints. You could be angry at yourself for something that 10 other people might notice immediately that is not your fault. I recommend with someone that isn’t your players since you might need to vent or simply need the objectivity of others to accept their points. - Saya No Uchi no Katsu: prepare in advance. All undead are less scary when you have holy water, all trolls less scary when you have a flaming torch handy. # Eran’s point of view: (13:55) Before a game with people I don’t know, or don’t know well. So mostly one-shots. Especially when I’m in a teaching position, running a demo or introducing someone to RPGs. I feel very responsible for everyone's enjoyment, the burden of being the main attraction and entertainer. This is not actually the case, and more importantly, it’s usually not the players’ expectations. How to handle my insecurities: - Know the rules well enough so you feel comfortable to pull a quick ruling. That’s why I love Genesys dice. - Have solid character sheets. It’s the most basic thing a player needs in order to interact with the game. Put the basis for some conflict on it, to help yourself pull at something during the game. - Know the beginning, the middle and the end. Even if in only general terms, like “a big fight in a cathedral”. It’s a compass that guides your decisions. - If I run a demo/introducion,