¡Desconecta con la aplicación Player FM !
58. Joe D’Amato’s Beyond the Darkness (1979)
Manage episode 366999605 series 2921165
From the New French Extremity to some old Italian Sleaze, good, clever Loathsome Things is here to make everything nice for you, our sweet, sweet babies! From the guy that mostly did hardcore porn with a splattering or horror-porn crossover films, comes a film that advanced the boundaries of gore and showed us that the most potent strains of marijuana in history looks surprisingly exactly the same as 1970s euro-lady pubes. That’s right, it’s schlocky, it’s exploitative, it’s unfortunate, and it’s all set to Goblin’s most perplexing soundtrack, it’s the 1979 horror cinema experience from the cum-soaked mind of Joe D’Amato lovingly and alternately known as Beyond the Darkness, Buio Omega, Buried Alive, In Quella Casa Buio Omega, House 6: El Terror Continua, and Zombi 10. Tune in to learn all this information and so much more in this most absurd episode of Loathsome Things: the official horror movie podcast of 1970s bush-centric European stag films!
If you would like to recommend a movie, tell us what kind of wine comes in that kind of bottle, or ask us horror movie-related questions, you can do so by reaching out to us on
Twitter: @LoathsomePod
Instagram: @LoathsomePod
Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast
Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com
The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List
(of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast)
(1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981)
(2) Brian De Palma’s Carrie (1976)
(3) Rose Glass’ Saint Maud (2019)
(4) Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (1974)
(5) George A Romero’s Night of the Living Dead (1968)
(6) Alex Garland’s Men (2022)
(7) Miike Takashi’s Audition (1999)
(8) Ti West’s X (2022)
(9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)
(10) Bob Clark’s Deathdream (1974)
Honorable Mentions:
Beyond the Door III (1989) – Not a great horror movie, but so much fun to watch!
The Pit (1981) – Watch this coming-of-age story about seeing boobs and feeding beasts!
Transcript
Josh
Body of a *****. Body three times. Pain and torture. First body in a bed. Body growing dead body in a crypt body. Hell fire dipped. Body ringing bell body into hell. Always be a taker. Meet your maker. No one's life you save robs some in your grave. It's loathsome things, a horror movie podcast with be the Josh and he the John. John. How are you on this most horrific of?
John
I'm hell be.
Josh
Dipped dipped hell fire dipped.
John
Hell be doing whatever the **** it was. Somebody actually wrote a rhyme to go along with whatever they said in Italian.
Josh
I know, I know. Like someone's job was to come up with a little, like set of rhyming couplets to to go with whatever was actually. Supposed to be there.
John
Man, I would love to see this movie in Italian with English subtitles.
Josh
Ohh man yeah that would be good. You could also do what I did. I watched the movie that this is a remake of in Italian without subtitles.
John
Ohh, that's even better. Yeah, the third eye, right?
Josh
The third eye? Yeah, it's it's real confusing when you have no idea what. People are saying.
Josh
So, John, what are we?
Josh
Even talking about.
John
Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked. Because this time around. We shall be talking about. We're going to talk about a little Italian schlock exploitation film that was directed by a fine fellow named occasionally named Joe Di Amato.
Josh
Some types named Joe Demon.
John
1970 nines. Delightful and absolutely delicious. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a moron beyond the darkness.
Josh
Also known by other names. A lot of other names, some of them. Some of them just just out of nowhere. That thing, but yeah, it was the whole thing. Apparently the director, Joe D'amato, was friend with Mino Guerini, who directed the third eye. And one day they were hanging out. Just spit balling ideas and he was like, hey, what if I remade your movie but made it sleazier?
John
It's an interesting film. It's gonna be fun to talk about. I liked the I was excited to hear that Goblin did the soundtrack, or as they mistakenly referred to. Them the goblins. But except for a few bits, overall, the soundtrack is terrible.
Josh
Yeah, it's if you have ever had your manager pop in a VHS tape so you could watch a training video on your first day on the job, then you know what this movie sounds.
John
Like please contact the HR department if you have any issues with other employees.
Josh
There are times where the soundtrack's really cool, like they'll purposefully hit these flat notes to like, reflect what's going on, like like it's entertaining at times and other times just very irritating.
John
When I make my movie, I'm going to have the entire soundtrack be done live with a guy with a French horn who just makes fart noises.
Josh
Yeah, I I want. I want my life soundtrack to be done by someone with a severe anxiety disorder that wasn't given their medicine today and they have to like. They're always trying to catch up with what's going on, like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me. The soundtrack I want.
John
They have to play it on a hooter.
Josh
Of course, Goblin to they did the soundtrack for the original dawn of the dead phenomena, Suspiria and Tenebre. So lot of lot of good Italian movie horror movies with that, and by a lot I mean mostly just those that I listed. They also had a song in Shaun of the Dead.
John
Yeah, that's true. And just in case you really enjoyed this music, in which case, by the way, you're an idiot. It was also used in the films the other Hell and Hell of The Living Dead, because in Europe all horror films are of the Living dead.
Josh
And one thing that was cool. So the actor in here, Frank Astolfi, who plays clever, sweet, good Iris actually was reunited with this soundtrack whenever she starred in the other hell.
John
Wonderful. The amazing franca stoppi. Veteran of the Women's Prison series of films and also a little a little number known in English as dog lay afternoon or in its native Italian bestiality or something like that.
Speaker 5
Good it is what you think it is if.
Josh
If, if you're if you're.
Josh
Catching on to to a like a a niche like a specific what? What what's happening here? So I want to go into a little bit about Joe D'amato. Joe D'amato is the king of 1970s and 80s Italian sleaze cinema. He has 199 directing credits to his name and about 100 and 21120 of those are just straightforward *********** videos.
John
Gotta love it.
Josh
This is one of his most famous horror movies, along with Anthropophagus and the semi sequel to that absurd, this came out. This film came out during his horror **** over crossover era, which included Papaya love, goddess of the cannibals, orgasmo. Arrow, Emmanuel and the white slave trade ****** Knights of the Living Dead and poor no Holocaust.
John
**** in a that is fantastic. By the by the way, and Trump of Vegas and that absurd are those movies are.
Josh
Yes, they they rock. This guy like while while he was mostly about the the ******* and portraying the penetration and stuff like that he when his in his ***** she was like we need to really like push the boundaries of what's allowable as far as gore is concerned and. Boy, does he ever. And it is fantastic. Like this isn't the kind of movie that you would expect to watch and think ohh wow, this contributed to the artistry of horror. Cinema but it. Actually does and it's amazing also very.
John
Yes, yes, yes, on all counts. The it's funny because he I was reading a little bit about it and said that he he was kind of down on his own ability to build suspense. In other words, he couldn't do it. So he went ahead and just did the extreme. Shock value instead, and he's very proud of that which he damn well ought to be.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, I like that. He's like, I don't feel confident in my ability to build suspense, so I'm just gonna not try.
John
You got to know your strengths. I like that the.
Josh
Like what if?
John
Ohh yeah, go ahead. Well, I was gonna say.
Speaker 5
No, no, you.
John
It was a. The film was released in 87, called in Inquiry a Casa built Omega to try to to try to pass it off as being related to the Evil Dead series, which it of course was not at all, and then it was released in Italy as Lacasa and. Macasa do way I guess as you would. Today in Spain, the movie was marketed as being a sequel to the House franchise. Therefore, House 6 and then El Terror, or El Perro continua, and then in Mexico it was billed as being part of the.
Josh
Zombie franchise it was listed as Zombie Ten. Oh my God. Yeah, this is. That's one of my favorite things about this era of horror movies is like. It's just nonsense. They're like, what if we just said it was part of another thing? And I I honestly think that's beautiful. I I love it because it just creates such a tangled mess of history to try to a.
John
Not it wasn't. Wasn't Fulci's zombie build as? Night of the Living Dead sequel wasn't that I think so, yes, yeah. It's all complete ********. No one gave any *****. I love Italians. They just lie and they don't give a damn. I was looking for the Napolitano Pizza house. Is it this direction C?
Josh
- Thank you.
John
Where am I? There's no pizza restaurant here.
Josh
Let's see Joe's other directing credits include Ator, the Fighting Eagle famous from mystery science.
Speaker
Right.
John
Theater 3, yes.
Josh
The Devil's wedding night, the crawlers. Black Cobra woman paradiso, blue blue, ****** climax. Super Climax sex penitentiary cop sucker cop. Sucker two and zombie 5.
John
Oh, my God. Get it together. OK.
Josh
Yeah, famously in the 1990s he was resistant to the change from film to video in the pornographic **** ***********. And he was like, yeah, it just doesn't feel as good. But I guess I'll do it. He also didn't like the fact. People wanted *********** to just portray a lot of extreme sex. He really wanted it, which is funny when you. Watch this movie. He was like, yeah, but what about the story element? Don't want the story element of *********** anymore.
John
What about the art?
Josh
So, yeah, this movie stars Kieran Kantor as Frank. Kieran Kantor would go on to be in some ****, but not much.
John
Yeah, basically just a bunch of soft **** or not a whole lot of. What was the other like? What do you say? Monreale Monreale, who plays Anna.
Josh
And spoiler alert, she's awesome. Oh no, she also plays Elena.
John
She plays her sister. Yeah, she's Christ. She was she was in full. She's the beyond, which is absolutely ******* **** ***. I love that moon. She's the lady with the whited out eyes.
Josh
Also, she was in full cheese. The Sweet House of horrors.
John
That I have not seen it sounds delightful.
Josh
Yeah, I know. That's what is you doing in here?
John
She was and Dario Argento. Argentos the Stendahl syndrome, so a definite veteran of some classic horror, even outside of this fine piece of film.
John
This fine pizza.
John
Which I'm so glad was shot on 16 millimeter film, apparently because if it had it been shot on video, it would have looked bad.
Josh
So a lot happens in this movie. John, do we need to warn? I mean, there's a yeah. There's a dead baboon. That was kind of upsetting. I forgot about that.
John
Yeah, that was upsetting. There was some possible well hints. More at necrophilia, probably in the Italian version. Straight up necrophilia. Yeah, there was a lot of dancing around, some really terrible things. If you're not a fan of of using actual pig body parts to make your gore scenes, then this is not the movie for you. If you don't like to see.
Josh
Grown men breastfeed. This is probably not gonna be the one for.
John
You, Jesus Christ. Yes, I forgot. Forgot about the breast. Feeding their nursemaid.
John
Oh my God.
Josh
This movie is ridiculous. There's also if you're offended by the naked female Bush, then this movie is not gonna be for you.
John
Yeah, you better get whipped. The hedge trimmers out because this one goes for it, yeah.
Josh
Ohh some some very homage to Herschel Gordon Lewis dismemberment so. So just be prepared for that before you view it, which you may have already done. Because we told you 2 two weeks ago.
John
In 2023, the the It's kind of you'd be kind of hard pressed to find the effects believable, but if you're squeamish and you're not somebody that you know, if you just react to that stuff, period, then yeah, this this movie might be a little tough for you to watch.
Josh
Yeah, I liked that there was. There was a a fake arm, just like the one in dance mapu, but the IT was. Like, oh, the one in dance mapu. Actually does look better than this. One nice technology advanced that's right, moving right along.
Josh
Yeah, you couldn't see through.
Josh
The one in dance mafoo.
John
Ohh yeah, I also wanted to mention which I thought was hilarious, that the reason Francastel Papi got the role. Toby was because another actress agreed to play Iris, sight unseen, read the script and was like no. And Frank Estopa, I was like.
John
Well, **** yeah, I'll do it.
John
Nice because she's awesome. What a trooper. Kick us off. Alright, well, the movie starts with a weird looking European red van truck driving through the woods while we listen to pretty awful goblin music. It's very 70s, of course, the guys driving along in his obscenely loud truck and he arrives at what I would describe as a ship house. He gets, gets out and meets a swarthy other douche, and then they work together to lift a very heavy box inside the van. Then Jordi Ouche leaves. He gets back in his van because it looked like he was wearing jordash jeans. If I was, if I wasn't mistaken, OK.
Josh
Just wondering where that was coming, Jordan?
John
So he drives away and we cut to a hazy filtered shot of a Crone, putting needles in voodoo dolls. While that are basically, you know based on a picture of the main character and what I'm assuming is his girlfriend, which of course it is and. Another lady with weird lips is sitting there watching this happen, and she's obviously loving it, so that's that's setting up something. They the the girlfriend, as it turns out, is in the hospital, ****** ** and moaning and she is doing a lot of gasping and then sort of red lines. Except I don't know what that meter is that's regulating her heart. I looks like something else entirely, but whatever.
Josh
I think it I think it's measuring whether or not her makeup needs to be replaced.
John
There's some lady in there who I thought was a nurse, but she like. Very not too worried, gets up and says. Nurse and then a doctor comes in and gives her an Ivy shot of some sort, and then she moans a lot and calls for Frank. So that's the red. That's the jordache. So meanwhile, Frank arrives at a Chateau and opens the little gate drives in. Suddenly the box. That he carries inside by himself is really not that heavy anymore, which I thought was interesting. He brings it into the Chateau and unpacks what turns out to be a dead male baboon. Which looked like a dead male baboon. It was pretty disgusting, not not disgusting, but little disturbing. He doses it with some sort of amber juice in this giant syringe that he has. And then while this is going on, the lady with the lips is snooping as he. Leaves that room and heads upstairs into the Chateau. Back at the hospital, the dying lady wants makeup as as you do, and the nurse deftly applies man makeup on with might. Might as well be a house painting brush. She's just like. Ah, there you go. It's so great back again at these chitter lips picks up. She picks up after douche cause he's he's made a mess in his bedroom, you know, cause he's a he's a naughty boy who's, like 30, she tells Frank. That the hospital called and then naked and tan Frank comes out. Grabs like with his clothes holding his junk, which I don't know why shy after what happens later, but he grabs his regular clothes and calls lips a stupid idiot for not telling him sooner.
Josh
You stupid idiot.
John
Back at the hospital, Frank Frank rushes in. He runs into. The best character in the movie, a random old person. With a funny.
Josh
Hey, where'd you get your license?
Josh
I I want to know what the original like was that what it was supposed to be in the original, or I can't imagine.
John
God only knows he's great. He he gets to, he gets to Anna's bedside, and he tenderly makes out with her to death. Back at the back at.
John
The ship, yeah.
John
In a very ornate bedroom, apparently Frank is the King of Italy. Uhm, he mopes. He's like sitting at this little desk or, you know, bedside, dresser or whatever. Just moping over these two horrible photos like one of of two people, another, neither of which look like her. And then a big portrait of himself. And he's just like, moping and then lips comes in and. You know, I mean, it's perfectly understandable. He's he's having a hard time. His girlfriend just died. So she whips it tight out and breastfeeds him. And it's extremely sexual and very strange.
Josh
Yeah, yeah. She's just, like, cooing at him and telling him that everything's gonna be OK and saying her own name over and over to him, she's like, it's OK. Sweet, Sweet Iris is gonna make everything good for you.
John
And he's like.
Josh
So bizarre this is the point. Whenever I first watched the movie I. Ohh I have to show John.
John
Doing it now we're back at or we're we're at at the Funeral Home and she's in her casket and Frank goes to visit her and he juices her with the amber hoist that he gave the baboon. While for no reason. The mortician who had just left. In the other room peeks back in to spy on the guy. What what reason? He's just sitting there, looking at her. He doesn't look weird or anything, and the dude peeks back in just in time to see him inject the juice into her neck. Then it's her funeral. There's a bunch of very serious Italian people in the background are a bunch of half naked Italian guys who are, like, working on something I don't. I think it was a mistake that they left that in the shot or something.
Josh
They're probably working on the *********** in the background.
John
I was like, are those people naked? What is going on?
Josh
Back there I didn't notice. I'll have to go back.
John
And watch it again.
Josh
It's ohh no.
John
It's so weird.
John
They they lower her casket with two ropes into this really narrow hole. That's like super deep. And then they show, like her parents, you know, mourning her mother has a gargantuan cold sore on her lip. Then her dad's there and a super hot blonde lady who looks just like her named Ellen's dad after the funeral, begs the priest essentially to do all The Dirty work. Because he can't handle, it's too much for him so he could bail and his wife can leave Italy. The daughter is gonna stick back though, and and complete her school. The mortician is is very conspicuously snooping on the proceedings. Now we're back at the cemetery. It's at night, and there's there's George Douche digs. Anna, who, by the way, is suddenly like, 6 inches below the surface, like, somehow the. And there's roses on top of her casket, which are clean, even though he just dug her up. He takes her and wraps her up in like a blanket and takes her and and then he drives the the van and spots a hitchhiker out in the middle of ******* nowhere. Who's like, hey, stop. And he just drives away.
Josh
But much to his. Misfortune, his tiny red van gets a flat tire. He has to stop. He changes the tire. There's some police officers in a station wagon. They offer him help. He's like, Nah. And then they drive along, he gets back in his van and ohh the the British hitchhiker from earlier is now in the passenger seat. She's just invited herself into his car and is offering him high-powered weed. Which she then begins to roll a joint and we can all see that it is **** tobacco. Just it's just so obvious. It is if you've ever rolled tobacco and you got the like Bally, **** or something, you know what this is? It's not weed. Weed does never look like this.
John
No, it looks like if somebody took the world's smallest sheet of brown paper and ran it through the world's smallest paper shredder, yes.
Josh
And she's just going on and on about how like she even says that this stuff is worth its weight in gold and how like it's gonna, like, really, like, knock your **** out or whatever. She she rolls it up. She takes a. Passes it to him and he's like, no, thank you. And then she just passes out, like she cannot handle her ****. There's also a thing that's supposed to be suspense, which Joe D'amato has said he cannot do about like Anna's hand flopping in through the little window and him like. Her not seeing it and him trying to hide it, it does nothing. It's stupid. Yeah, I love how they tried to set it up by having him notice that the glass window that took effort to move just opens on its own for some reason. Yeah, I love how jiggly Anna's body is, too. It is just. It's another case of the very bouncy cars of yore.
John
It's that it's that brown juice.
Josh
Yeah, that jiggly brown juice. Uh, back at home, Frank unloads Anna's body and dissects her while the hitchhiker is still asleep in the van. Anna's ***** can be seen prominently and look remarkably similar to the **** tobacco that is keeping this whole situation afloat. There's some great skin cutting and gut pulling scene. This is done with the aforementioned pigskin and guts from the slaughterhouse. It looks real good, but apparently they like. Soaked the pig guts in red dye because like it is just staining her skin in a very not normal blood way, but it still looks great and there's like this whole scene where it's like she's lying naked on the table and you can see this like this pink foldy lip incision running down her body. And it's like, wow, that looks really gross.
John
Yeah, yeah, they did a good job with that as impress.
Josh
Yeah, and she almost did a really good job of looking dead and not like giggling at being tickled or like breathing and stuff like that. Every once in a while, you're like, oh, I saw you. I saw you. But you know.
John
She does a pretty good job for for someone who has to basically do nothing on camera.
Josh
And then then Frank Yanks out Anna's heart. He kisses it and then takes a big old chunky bite out of it, which causes blood to spurt out of the ventricles. It's so stupid. It's really stupid and amazing. Yeah, but yeah, it's real dumb. And it doesn't make any sense with the type of stuff that happens later in this movie, much less the stuff that has already happened.
John
And he's like, semi orgasmic when he. Does it too.
Josh
Oh yeah, he's super into it. Also, that heart is enormous.
John
It's like the size of his skull. I read that they used to sheep's heart and I just was looking at. That and going. I don't think that's a. Real heart that looks.
Josh
Plastic. I don't know. I don't know. Then he he pulls out his copper tubes, which he gets all heated up and shoves them just right up into Anna's nostrils. And then he vacuums out annae's guts. I guess her brain. Through the nose and it comes out as the chicken Mcnugget pink slime that we all saw on YouTube back in the day.
John
A watermelon smoothie.
Josh
So apparently all you do is you just shove a copper tube into each one and you start pushing air through one end and everything from the body just comes out the other tube in a nice like protein shake style.
John
Cleans it, right?
Speaker 5
Yeah, it's good you don't have.
Josh
To do anything. At the time, Nope. You ain't gotta blend it. Up it's fine.
John
No prep work at all.
Josh
At this point, the hitchhiker wakes up flops her way around the whole place, finds Frank doing this horrible thing with a dead body, screams, and then Frank goes and grabs her to get her.
John
To to get her.
Josh
And then he grabs a giant pair of like horse nail Clippers or something. And then while she is screaming and struggling for her life, he. Carefully and precisely proceeds to rip her fingernails off of her hand while she's screaming and struggling, and then after he gets the fingernails off of one hand, he smothers her to death. What's going on there, bro?
John
It makes no sense. And her screams are agonizing.
John
Ohh man yes.
Josh
And it's like that scene that is like the most. Italian horror movie scene I've ever watched in my life. He's like, ah, yes, you're screaming here. Let me torture your fingernails. I'm so strong.
Speaker 5
Then I'll smother you to death.
Josh
He stashes her body in the tiny van, which we can now see is about four feet tall. It it's really an amazing Little Feat of engineering. We see that Iris has witnessed the whole thing. She looked sternly at him. Then helps him dress Anna's body in a nice gown, paints her fingernails red, and they put her in the Lucy Desi twin bed up against each other. Situation the the next morning the the baboon guy shows back up. His client is interested in the baboon, he says, and he wants to. He wants to buy it back from from Frank and so he can sell it for a bunch of money. Frank's like, no, I don't need money. I don't do this for this. This is my hobby guy. That's right. He's he's. Yeah, he does. Taxidermy. Lots of taxidermy everywhere.
Speaker 5
It's so stupid.
Josh
It's so stupid and it turns out that it's just to let the funeral guy sneak into the house. We see him sneaking in through a back room. He doesn't find the Hitchhiker's body, but he does find some blood. He finds her necklace and then he gets back in. The funeral guy pays paid the the baboon guy the baboon. Guys like hell. What was the deal with that? And he's like, hey, why don't you go **** ***? Guy Frank sees that someone snooped it. It turns out that Iris hid the body. The two of them go into the bathroom now together after, like, saying. Mean things to each other to dispose of the body. They start taking all of her clothes off. She's a large woman, yeah. Iris starts hacking off body parts just like she's got. She's got this big butchers axe and she's just like looking around trying to figure out where to even begin. And then she just like, it's like, all right, I'm going to start over here and starts hacking away over here. Has a breathing mask on and he starts filling the bathtub with acid from. Bottles of what you would assume is port wine because it's a green glass bottle with the rope.
Josh
Stuff on the outside.
Speaker 5
It's like a.
John
Tea and tea bottle.
Josh
And they have five of. Them he just keeps.
Josh
Pouring more and more acid into the bathtub and he like the scene. Goes on forever. So she's she's chopping off the head. She like she. You see it? She like hangs. It's like dangling. She's got it from the hair. She flings it in there. So it's this horrible flesh eating acid and she's just chunking body parts into it without any regard for the splash.
John
No regard for the splash. She has no body protection on of any kind. He's wearing a giant rubber apron and gloves and that stupid mask, and she's just going.
Josh
They did a great job. It's it's one of those situations where, like they had the the actor like, move her head over to the side so that you don't see it in the shot anymore. Cause now it looks like she's like her head is gone. Same thing with her arm. They're just chopping off bits. It's real good, but it goes on forever. And at first, you're like, wow, this is taking too long. And then after a. While you're like this. Is ******* amazing.
John
I mean afterwards they have real carnage on the floor and she's like. Scooping up chunks of meat and like hip sockets and just blood like actual animal blood, you could tell just by looking at it. It's really disgusting and she's like basically cleaning up the carnage that she left behind and just, you know, and then the meantime, like dumping it all into this bathtub. Yeah, it's ******* great. I loved this scene. I love when the the cheesy skull with the eyeball still in it. Like floats up to the surface of the tub.
Josh
So much eyeball stuff in this movie, I didn't mention it earlier, but the part that the hitchhiker walked in on was when he was like, shoving a fake eye into Anna's empty eye socket. And she's.
Speaker 5
Like, it's so good.
John
Oh my God. And then so then. Let's buries the. Loopy remains of the hitchhike Chris and then and then afterwards they're in the they're in the kitchen slash. Eating table, whatever he's sitting at the table, she's washing up, like cleaning the bucket out from. You know this, this burial or dumping or whatever. And then without washing her hands or anything, she pours 2 bowls of disgusting soup. And then while she's doing and then she sits down and starts eating it like she's. Some kind of like cave woman. Just it's just like like basically just taking hands full of it and justice rubbing it across her face, hoping some will get in her mouth. And Frank is is is clearly like in his mind, he's seeing the gore from the scene earlier and then he can't take it, he gets up and barfs. What I can only describe his heavy cream. It's like, what the hell did this guy just drink a Fort like a pint of heavy cream for breakfast?
Josh
He up Chuck some half and half.
John
So it's so disgusting.
Josh
And she's still got, like, her arms are covered in, like, the black chunky water from the burial and. When did she have time to cook the slop? Is it implying that they're eating the hitchhiker like I don't understand?
John
That's what I kind of thought it. But then I'm like, but they they don't show or save anything. They threw it all in the in the splashy acid. So I don't, I don't know. It was great though.
Josh
It it is great and it doesn't make any sense because we just saw him kiss and take a chump out of a heart after like dissecting someone and yanking on the guts and stuff. So why is he now, like sickened by? It doesn't make sense.
John
He is an aversion to sue. So now we're at we're at. Anna's bed side. And he's moping again. And you know, whenever whenever Frank's moping, you can count on Mama lips to come in and and calm him down. So she sits next to him and starts feeling him up. Basically, she's like sticking your hands up under his. V next sweater. And then she dips, trowel and is like digging in for the happy ending and saying things like. Iris knows how to take care of him, doesn't she? So she's yeah, she strokes him out of his sadness, I guess. And then I guess I'm assuming he ****** his pants and then had to go change his pants. But anyways, back at the Funeral Home, we're in a back office and it's ******* filthy. It's a place. Like, what is going on? He's got, like, a looks like a bookshelf. Behind him and on one of the shelves is a casket. What a cool guy. So where this guy shows up and it's like he's hired a Private Eye to appear. Without any pay, go, go, research and provide this mortician Frank's entire life story, and then what he does, the guy like whips his wallet. He's like, here you go. Good work now.
Josh
He he pays him like you pay a bell, man.
John
It gives him a tip. And then we see Frank, who, who's dressed up like marathon man. He's like jogging through town and then suddenly he's in the mountains. And I mean the setting is beautiful. And then yeah, oh, what do you know, he's just happens to be jogging behind some hot girl who looks like she's never run a step in her life. She's like, first of all, she's not sweating at all, and she she can't. I mean, she could barely run in a straight line. And then, wow, she had twisted her ankle, and he's gonna have to help her, you know? So he he. He wants her to wait. You know, cuz he's going to go to the to the pharmacy. And get some liniment but. Then he realizes it would just be easier to carry her to his house. Where he rubs white cream on her ankle and she asks him if he's a doctor. Wow, you're really.
Josh
Good at that.
John
It's like with he just put.
John
And he, he like, kisses her hand and stuff like it's obvious that he's he's, you know, he's down to clown. Because apparently the handy that he just. Andy, that lips gave him earlier wasn't enough, so he he goes somewhere in the house to get he's on a gauze run and he stops. Of course, cause he has to visit dead Anna for a second. I don't know if he's like to get it up or whatever. And then and then jangle the jogger with the ankle calls for him. Calls for him, so he hides Hannah real quick, like, flips the bedspread up over her. She's like, like, weighs like £80.00, so he can kind of hide her under a bedspread. And then he he wraps her ankle. And you know, it's getting all good and she's. Like, oh, wait until you finish wrapping the ankle. So then they get into the bed right next to Anna, where the the matching twin beds with velvety blankets, and they start getting all feely and Frank pulls the bedspread down so he can look at Anna and kind of touch her or whatever so he can get the full corpse ***** and the jogger sees her. And for some reason this is upset by this. I don't know why. Freaks the **** out. So Frank bites a hole in her neck, which kills her, and then he eats it.
Josh
Whatever, it's so good.
John
So he's in some sort of strange orgasmic.
Speaker 5
Daze. He's just.
John
Blood on him. And the lips walks in, of course, because she's always there at the key moment, takes the jogress and tosses her into. That dude has a ******* crematorium in his basement.
Josh
She she hadn't.
Josh
Thought about that at the after the first one, she was like, all right, look, I can't chop up another body.
John
That was too much work, I thought, chopping up a body was going to be no big deal. How silly of me to forget that you have a crematorium in your taxidermy station. So they just they just toss the jogger into the crematorium thing and, uh, fire it up and then she does this cool, like scrunching up thing like she's. Yeah, it's great I call. Oh, yeah, I called it the taxidermy torium. And then, yeah, so it's amazing. But anyways, lips now has suggested that. She just she just she suggests that Frank get rid of Anna because you know, because she wants all the attention basically, but also because the, you know, it's crazy. And the odds of keeping a weirdly preserved dead body in your bedroom is probably. Not a good idea so. She says it's for his safety and she's like.
John
Forget about her. She's dead.
John
And we're alive. But Frank's not having it. He's going to keep her in her own room. She's getting all dressed up because, you know, they're going to have guests or whatever. Then the cops show up and she immediately puts on her nursemaid. Get up with an apron again because she can't have guests. You know, with the police to know that you're having guests. I didn't understand that.
Josh
There was a lot of her walking back and forth in a room, taking a gown off, putting a gown back on. It was like.
John
I don't think.
John
The cops care. They're just looking for a missing jogger. So she's kind of, you know, they're they're asking a bunch of questions outside and frank. Answering their questions, but obviously being vague and then she's a little bit more kind of aggressive, like pushing back and then they're like, you know, well, we could get a we could get a warrant, but we would really like to search the place if we could. And she's like, sure come on in. So they they go straight to the taxidermy torium. They're like looking around and the guys like, oh, these are these are amazing. What is this? It's like some taxidermied animal I didn't even. Catch what it was.
Josh
It's like a bird or.
John
Something. Yeah, like a bird.
Josh
Or a squirrel like it was. Just one he's like ooh.
John
And she's like, ohh well here, let me wrap that for you so you can take it home for free.
John
She just puts a piece of paper.
Josh
Like ohh here. Yeah, you wouldn't wanna.
Josh
Touch that. That's so weird.
John
Oh my God. And then the cops are like, well, you know, I think I've. Seen enough and they leave.
Josh
And yeah, whatever, and and then.
John
That was so strange. And then we we cut to a dinner table. She's back in her her gown or dress or whatever the ****. There's all these weird people in that in like leader hose and and **** sitting around the table and and then there's this woman who has a full on mustache. Like just rocking the stash? Like where no one's going to mention this, OK, Italy. And they're like, EZ, what the fathers spread, that you got the and she she brings in this suckling pig or piglet. It's really small, I don't know. And they're all sitting there and they ask about Frank.
Josh
Know Liz Wizard the Frank Carini?
Josh
They're all drinking like they've got like these, these tiny little cordial cups full of cranberry juice. I assume they're there's even this one, like, whenever the pig comes out there like and he's like alright, I know when people want me to do a thing and he like he goes to carve the pink but it like leaves the pig all the way in the middle of the table. So he's having to, like, reach all the way over with the fork and knife, and it's real awkward. And meanwhile, Frank is just moping outside. And then yeah, they call for him. He comes in. He doesn't say ****, but then Iris announces that they're going to get married.
John
What the **** was that? Where I'm like, how? How many times do I have to watch this movie and, you know, to go back and see the part where they talk about getting married because they don't? They never talked about it. This is literally the only scene in which that gets mentioned.
Josh
And we don't know who these people are. It seems like they're her friends, but she's the maid. I don't know what's happening.
John
It's it's butcher, Baker linguine maker.
Josh
Nice. Ohh man.
Josh
So that he just leaves while everyone's like mid cranberry juice toast and they're like ohh he must be feeling weird. I don't know. I got a little French in there. He goes to Anna's bedside and begins to cry and profess his forever love for her, and then goes for a jog. For some reason, yeah. At this point, the funeral guy is back. He's sneaking into the house again. Iris, all of the guests are gone. Iris is just **** face drunk. Honestly, the best job I've ever seen of a person in a movie. Stumbling around after waking up drunk like I was like, wow, that is, that is exactly what it looks like.
John
Her hair's all messy. It's great.
Josh
Yeah, she just can't really do a straight line. All good, she thought she heard someone. She's so she's. Stumbling around the house looking for Frank. It doesn't matter that she's drunk. Meanwhile, the funeral guy has found the one ugly, dingy poor people. Part of the house. It's like some basement or something where the ceiling is like 6 feet high. And it's all painted like ****, and he's, like, looking through stuff, and he finds Anna's body in a in a closet. It falls out like in the movie pieces, but this did come out before the movie pieces. I'm sure there are other movies that this coping, but I was like, hey. Just like in.
Josh
Then he he takes a photo.
Josh
Of the body laying on the floor and scoots out and then we see him developing the photo somewhere else.
John
Now we're in his his personal black room, yeah.
Josh
Ohh, it's so ******.
John
And why did she fall face first out of the dresser and land on her back?
Josh
She standing up in there?
John
It gets better.
Josh
It does, Iris then tells Frank to get rid of his gross doll. He slaps her. She tells him he'll be sorry. Then he leaves and goes to a discotheque.
John
As one do.
Josh
Yeah, he finds the one hoochie in the whole place. She's on the dance floor, surrounded by only men who are also dancing by themselves. No one is dancing together. None of these ***** Italian dudes are trying to approach her, and she is just doing the thing where you swing. Their ***** left and right as hard as possible. It's the most deliberate attempt for male attention I've ever seen. So he's just watching like a creep. He ends up bringing her home where she spends a good deal of time washing her **** in 1970s green water. John, you lived in the 70s, right? Why was the water always green?
John
Well, you see. In in France, what they would do is instead of having water run through the plumbing, they would use absinthe and then what you would do is put a little filter over the faucet head with sugar cubes in it. So as the absinthe passed through, it turned green.
Josh
- That makes sense. That makes sense. I I I would assume in Ireland what it was is the pipes were made out of Clover.
John
That's exactly correct. Yes, the pipes were made of Clover and and so then you would. Then you would have boxes of Lucky Charms. I don't know. What I'm talking about?
Josh
There it is. That was good. I liked it. You stuck the. So yeah, so she's just in the bathtub washing her ****. Meanwhile, someone pulls up to the house in a taxi. Opens the door. It's Elena and his twin sister. Uh, iris is just. **** like she has no ******* idea what's up. She is just done with expressions. Yeah, she's lost. Frank sees this from the top of the stairs. She goes he he goes and he bullies. This is such a weird movie. He goes to to the discotheque. In the bathroom, he's. Like, hey, you have to leave now. I'll take you home. But you have to leave. And she's like, I'm not leaving until you put your come on me. And he's like, no, no, no. You have to leave. I'm gonna drive you home. And that's what happens. He like like. Smuggles her out the back, drives her home. This guy that just kills people. He's like, yeah. I'll take you home. It's going to be fine. So yeah, it's. Just that that happens and.
John
So well, you have to understand that he he felt sorry for her because she had very dirty ****.
Josh
So while while he's driving disco hoochie home. Iris is now left alone in the house with Anna. And So what she decides to do is she's going to. Move annas body into a spooky spot. Cut off the lights and then do a spooky voice at Elena like.
Josh
Woo the house is.
Josh
Jesus Christ, and to her credit, this is entirely effective and Elena cannot handle her ****. So she, like, backs up everywhere. Also, there's an amazing like giant bronze like furnace in the side of the room. I don't know what's going on. But that thing was ******* awesome. I need one of those.
John
Is that is that the thing that's covered in what looks like jade or something like? What the hell was that?
Josh
Like, like, shiny green.
John
Like wow, that is, it was a time machine.
Josh
You must have done so good in fascist Italy in this.
Josh
House time machine. I just come.
Josh
And so, yeah. So Elena is, like, spooking her way through the house. And then, like, I think she sees Anna's body propped up in the chair. And then she she turns around, and there's Iris in the shadows holding a knife the wrong way. Like they're they're. All sorts of different ways that you can hold the knife in a minute. Don't imagine any of those this is. The wrong way to.
John
Yeah, this is one step short of carrying it by the blade. I like when Elena's going through the House and she's got a candle to light her way and the way they they decided to shoot that was to hit her with a flashlight so that it would look like her. Candle was lighting the way when it's so clear that someone behind.
John
The camera is.
John
Just dosing her with a flashlight. It's like, yeah, why not?
Josh
So the very sight of Iris in the darkness with the knife is enough to cause her to collapse into a coma. Yeah, apparently she's done. Yeah, yeah, she she goes full blown, comatose, and then I. Chris very slowly comes up like it's it's hard. Like we're like, OK, she just wanted to scare the **** out of her, I guess. But no, she comes up to her very slowly and is like just step out because he can't build tension for ****. Joe Tomato knows this about himself after watching this movie, he cannot build. Mentioned for ****. So she just very slowly comes up to stab her. And then at the last second, I guess ******* frank, like, really took that hoochie home fast. She must live near by, that turns out.
John
She lives right.
Josh
Next door, Jesus in his in his like like isolated estate in the Italian countryside. He's just, like, got her back and and then drove back home real quick. I guess he knew that this was gonna be a problem. And so, just as she's bringing the knife down to stab Elena, he grabs her arm. He's suddenly there. And now they're fighting. ** *** she stabs him in the penis.
John
In the brown Jenkins.
Josh
Yeah, she separates the Frank from the beans. And he, like, does the whole. But then it's still good to keep fighting. So, so part of him getting stabbed in the penis as he falls back and, like sits in Anna's dead lap, the chair folds over there. He's, like, sprawling out on top of her.
John
He bites Iris's cheek off. He gives her a 50% Chelsea Grin.
Josh
She rips out his eye and more eyeball stuff. Yeah, and then he stabs her in the heart, which, which I'm sure Joe was like, ohh man, this is going to be really symbolic and help add to the tension.
Speaker 5
I'll teach them about suspense.
Josh
And then so Iris is now dead. He's stabbed her in the heart. Then he walks over to make sure that Elena's heart is beating. It is, and then he picks her up and carries her away. Later or something? Funeral Guy is now snooping around again. He just he can't get his fill of this situation.
Speaker 5
Is a new obsession.
Josh
We don't really know what his motive is either. He's just like looking for it. He he's snooping around, he finds Frank. Frank is still covered in blood. There's just blood all over his, like, dripping down out of his eye and and Frank is Manning the furnace and and Frank is, like, just conscious enough to, like, see the funeral guy and then pass out himself. And so the funeral guys like, oh, that's that's convenient. He looks in the furnace, he sees that there are bodies being burned. He he then sees Anna's body on the table and we find out this is in fact what he was here for, so he he picks up Anna's body. He drives. He puts the body in his car, drives away as he's driving off the property. We see he has the the photo that he took of Anna's body on the floor, and he drops it on the on the driveway, leaving the thing which is weird like it. Now we see what he wanted was Anna's body. Why he took the photo instead of just taking her body then we will never know. No, but he he he takes takes the body out. The photo he brings her body to the priest that presided over the funeral. They're talking about it. There's something about money being exchanged that didn't make sense. I guess I I think what we're supposed to get from it is that they found out that her body had been exhumed. And her parents paid him extra to get the body back or something like that, yeah. But it's super not clear. And then he he puts, he puts her body into the casket and him and the priest are talking. And then he slowly starts screwing the casket closed, and at this very moment with the coffin, shut the lid. Off and we see it's not Anna. In fact, it was Elena, and she's now flinging her arms and and just Jack Jaw opening her mouth in the most horrific, torturous expression ever screaming, screaming, flinging around, screaming, freeze frame. On her screaming face, it says the end, the end credits roll the goblin training video. Music plays movie over.
John
Oh my God. Ah, not never a dull moment.
Josh
No, no, many a confusing moment, but not dull.
John
Ohh yeah yeah yeah. Like like all Italian 70s or 90% of it makes no ******* sense. No idea.
Josh
I'm guessing there maybe there is a criticism of like the the wealthy Italian families. Like maybe this was playing into some stereotypes that I just don't know about.
John
Yeah, cause he's he like, inherited that fortune.
Josh
Right.
John
So he's just some spoiled rich kid who gets blow. He's from his nursemaid. I don't know what.
Josh
Yeah, that's right, the that's the the private investigator was like, yeah, I found out he's. Let's see here. He's like, ohh. OK. Here's a here's a tenner.
John
I couldn't have figured that out myself. He lives like *** **** castle.
Josh
So so John, yeah. But before we, before we. Dive into the things let's do the ratings.
Speaker 5
Josh
On a scale of 0 to 5, lonesome thing zero being this movie, doesn't it deserve to exist? And five, being that this is a masterpiece that other movies should be trying to emulate, and none of them ever will successfully rise to the occasion of, how would you rate Joe Demattos beyond the darkness parentheses? 1979.
John
I I don't know why I chose to do this 50. What four or five movies into the show, but it is. I decided to like break down into a comprehensive rating system, so like my first question is it horror 5? Yes, it's horror. It's straight up. Did I enjoy it? I gave it a.
John
3.5 you know?
John
OK, I enjoyed it. You know, overall production quality 2.5 pretty.
Josh
- Yeah, that's that's yeah. But that's in.
Josh
The middle right? Yeah, yeah.
John
Effects, effects and makeup. I'm gonna give it a 4.5 because. Loved it. Atmosphere, which I think is important in horror films. I'm going to give it a 2.8 because the atmosphere is.
Josh
OK, OK. Yeah, yeah.
John
Terrible in that film. It's not scary at all. It's place and horror, I think is another important category. I gave it. A 3.8 because I think it is. It does have its place, but most people, and if they're not. Horror fans won't know about this, but if you study horror, particularly the 70s, this film does have its place and it is well deserved writing and acting. I gave it A2 and I think I was being generous. Overall, divided by what was that seven? I believe it comes out to 3.44, which is probably pretty damn close to what I would have come up with. Anyway, had I been purely subjective, which it's all purely subjective.
Josh
Right. Yeah. Fantastic.
Josh
I gave it a 3.4. What the ****? I.
Josh
I I I mean, I agonized over that 3.4 I I was like oh man. But I need to I need to move these numbers here. Alright so so my my rubric is 1. So in each of these it's a number between .0. 1 so it's like on a 10 scale. And then I just add them all together. So is it a horror movie? I gave it a .8 like so. That's a that's a 8 out of 10. Basically I enjoyed it. I gave it a nine technical horror. I gave it A7. You know, there's some some ways in which it like it wasn't scary and that, but but the actual. Effects were just phenomenal and and and really good technical film. I gave it a .2. Yeah, artistry and contribution. I gave it 8 and all at like .8 point 9, point 7.2 and .8. That's a 3.4. We've got good rubrics.
John
They're actually pretty and and quite similar in in certain respects. Now, to be fair, like so.
Josh
We both gave this 3 point a 3.4 and. A 3.44. This is not a 3.4 out of five movie it is. It is not nearly a what? That's almost A7. Of 10 it's not, but it is definitely a 3.4 out of five loathsome things, like on on our scale. That's where it belongs.
John
That's right. We we will not be included in the Pantheon, but if you're going based entirely on our our mentality, which you know we all know about that by now, then yeah, I think a 3.4 ish 3 point. Yeah, I think that's fair. I like that. We were off by 4-1 hundredths of.
John
A point, yeah, yeah.
Josh
Yeah. So that is a 6.84 out of 10 loathsome things. That's way, way high.
John
This movie sucked ***.
Josh
This movie is terrible, but I just enjoyed it so much.
John
I I mean, I could. I could watch it as soon as we're done recording again and love it just as much.
Josh
So we've got like the other ones like a a muck train and and the pit this is like in those that vein of movies where it's just ridiculous. But this was just way better than those.
John
It is it is it? It it's almost an actual movie.
Josh
Yeah. So so Joe D'amato. Rest in ***********. You you made something that we really enjoyed, even though it was like sleazy as ****. There's so much like. Unlike just like, yeah, let's get some **** in here. Let's, let's show the whole Bush like. We're going for it, but. But I mean it it it's just one of the only movies I've ever seen that transcends the sleaze into just. Absurdly amazing nonsense.
John
Yeah, it it really. It really is a blast to watch. It's so ridiculous. It's such so 70s. It's it's great.
Josh
Whenever whenever I saw the suckling and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to tell John about this. And then when I. Talked to you about it? I was like, hey, have you heard of this movie? You've seen it. You're like, no, I. Haven't I was like.
Josh
Ohh yeah, it's gonna be so good. This is why we do this podcast. It's movies like this.
John
Ohh yeah absolutely. Yeah, I saw the cover. Maybe it looked vaguely familiar, but I didn't know. About this movie not at yeah.
Josh
And then I didn't even realize it until I was like going through it like the the goblin element. I was like ohh God John's gonna like this like, but it's all so terrible.
John
I know I'm. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna pinch a link on this and then it starts, starts good, starts strong for a good solid 8 or 9 seconds and then. Man, it just devolves into like training video stuff like you said. Yeah, that's it's that. Remember to turn your badge in at the end of the day.
Josh
You are required to wear the T-shirt and we will charge you for the T.
John
We will be leaving the bathroom doors open as a safety feature.
Josh
Remember, your manager is your friend.
John
If you encounter a homeless person washing their testicles in the sink.
Josh
Ohh, you get the idea. Yeah, yeah, if. A guy is hiding a baseball bat in his pants approach. Him from a distance. Please watch tape two to figure out what to do if you come across a pile of magazines covered and come.
John
And please grab a gluten free bagel on your way out the door.
Josh
Oh Barnes in problems. Good. All right. So yeah, yeah, a 6.84 any anything that you want to like, zoom in on and and and like, pay a special attention to or a favorite moment. Something that that made this a gym for you.
John
I mean the. The God there's. There were a lot. That's that's true. The the whole dismemberment scene was just classic. It was it was just pure. Pure Italian schlock. I mean that's that's what you you come for that and you have it. And yourself, Sir?
Josh
Ohh man I I just. All, all of the stuff with Iris, I mean, she's. The movie is about Frank, but it she is just such a great, weird villain. She's not even the villain, he's the villain. It's like he's the bad guy of the movie, but she's just so good and she eats up the screen every. Time she's on it. Your eyeball, like I could see why his career in softcore core *********** got started, but then didn't like finish because like, yeah, he's got, like, the eyes, he's got the hair, the jaw, like he's handsome. But your eyeballs just slip right off of him like he he could blend into a crowd of pretty people, but like the instant that she's on camera, you're like, whoa, what is she doing?
John
She's got a look. She just has that. There's just a look to her. He he has a look. What I would describe as a young Billy Joel.
John
So there you go with that.
Josh
So yeah, it was good. I loved it. If you can handle the problems, it's got some problems, but it's it's much easier to watch than some of the other weird stuff we've seen.
John
Yeah, yeah, it this this falls. Firmly in the place of horror.
Speaker 5
Yeah, you're you're good there.
Josh
Speaking of other things that things that we've watched, Sean, what about have you been watching anything else or consuming any other media or or doing any other cool things?
John
Hey, just the usual listening to a lot of audio books at work, horror audiobooks currently listening to a book called The Shoemakers Magician, which is written by an author out of Chicago named Cynthia Pelayo. She just won the Bram Stoker Award last night for her poetry, which is cool. And I guess is what like as long as I'm and it's a great book, by the way, it's it's about a woman who's, like, kind of obsessed with folklore, with old horror movies. And her husband is a homicide detective who is investigating a bunch of weirdly cult related murders. It's it's really interesting. And it's a nice mix of elements. So anyways, that's that's really the main one. The rest of this stuff is like I haven't seen any really horror movies or anything like that. I don't know. How about you?
Josh
It's a new. Movie The the directors name is DW Medoff it it's his feature film debut, it's called Pollen. It's.
John
Oh yeah, yeah.
Josh
Yeah, it's, it's good. It's super low budget and it it's kind of a I, I don't know if you're familiar with the mumble core idea of movies, it's very mumble core, very, very low budget like it you. You can see it in there. And it and it doesn't pull itself all the way out of the the low budget slums of like. Where it could be. Rated But it it it gets a little. Bit out of there. There's actually some some meat on the bones and it's it's an interesting watch. In some ways. It's kind of problematic. It would probably be better if. It was written and directed by a a woman because it's very much like a **** **** and me too, and a status quo in the workplace type of deal. I'd recommend watching it. I think it's only available for rent, so I would recommend y'all go out there, throw a few dollars on it, give a a new upcoming creator a a little, a little extra spending cash for and encouragement for their next project. It's it's good like they're they're trouble. I'm not, I'm not. Qualified to to say whether or not it portrays things like that in a good way, so it's very possible that the. Like did his research had, like, consultants, that made sure that this was done the right way? It's just like they're little parts of me. That's like I suspect maybe this. Could have been done. Better, but I don't know, but it was enjoyable to watch.
John
Well, I I I I hadn't seen it and I. Mean saw that it was. Out there and it looked interesting. So yeah, now I'll definitely watch it.
Josh
Yeah, it's really good. And so my TV just died, right? Right. Right before our we recorded our last episode. And I got a replacement. And I actually. It, like the old one, was 4K, but it was one of those like, not really 4K things. And this one is actually 4K with the O LED. And the first thing that we watched on, well, the first thing I watched on it was a old system of a down music video which looked like trash because it was from like 2004. And then we watched King of the Hill. So it was like we're not really doing this TV justice. So we watched Ant-Man. And it's ******* gorgeous on this TV. It like, I'm gonna try to watch as much as possible on there. I'm gonna have to see if I can get my headphones on there, because watching stuff on a really actually high quality screen TV is amazing. It's it's a game changer for real, yeah. Yeah, like with that other TV, like when we got it. And watch stuff on. It I was like ohh neat. It's big and then. With this one I'm like. Ohh look I can see. Stuff moving and ah, it's good. Yes, that's it's.
John
Yeah, it's a totally different experience when some when something shot in 4K it it, it looks different. I mean it. The motion tracks different and you know the the the the level of clarity is is like like it's yeah. Like you do see a lot of things you wouldn't see otherwise, but it's just. It's almost like you're looking through a damn window.
John
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's.
Josh
And sometimes some of the things even look a little bit weird, like like on old British TV shows where, like it, it's got like that weird blurry effect. It kind of does that sometimes, but it's still good. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I kind of hate it, but most of the time it's very rad. And what are we watching? Next time, John.
John
Now, next time we're watching a movie that is heavily influenced by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is fine with me if you pull it off, it's a A I believe it's an Indonesian film called Maccabe. And it's directed by Timo Jazz Zanto or something like that. I can't pronounce his name. He did some of the VHS stuff. He did my my personal favorite VHS film, the one with the Crazy murder cult that summons a demon.
Josh
I see, yes.
John
I love that film. He made that. We also made some of. Those like super high violence tower type movies, you know, like he kind of got in on that thing you. Know where the. Guys are that kind of world. He did some. Of that stuff too.
Josh
Was was he involved in, like the raid redemption?
John
He might have been. I can't remember the connection I'll have. I'll look it up for the next for the for when we recorded. But the movie itself is it's like a bunch of young people in a van and. They basically you're out in the middle of nowhere and it breaks down and they get taken to this house, which in this case is like this big Gothic kind of mansion, and it's run by this matriarch and her weird family. And yeah, it turns out that they're just like, murderous cannibals. And it is ******* over the top and amazing.
Josh
Oh yes, I haven't looked up anything about it, but that that sounds ******* great. Do we there? Have you seen it recently? Are there anything that we can warn our fans about?
John
Well, it's extremely violent and the violence is.
Speaker
John
Is yes, it's over the top, but it is. It is pretty, you know. I mean it's very graphic like it's, you know, there's insane amounts of blood and stuff like that, but it's just and and and then the situations that the violence is presented in are are pretty intense. I mean, so it's it's a very unflinching movie which is kind of his thing. But he's a he's kind of a gonzo guy, but it's a lush film. So, yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Josh
I'm looking forward to it and I hope you, our listeners are looking forward to it as well. We will be releasing the episode where we cover that in two weeks. So do watch it cautiously so that you can keep up with us because we're so good at what we do.
John
Ohh we are state-of-the-art and in the meantime I'm sorry that you all have to take a bath in Chianti. Acid.
94 episodios
Manage episode 366999605 series 2921165
From the New French Extremity to some old Italian Sleaze, good, clever Loathsome Things is here to make everything nice for you, our sweet, sweet babies! From the guy that mostly did hardcore porn with a splattering or horror-porn crossover films, comes a film that advanced the boundaries of gore and showed us that the most potent strains of marijuana in history looks surprisingly exactly the same as 1970s euro-lady pubes. That’s right, it’s schlocky, it’s exploitative, it’s unfortunate, and it’s all set to Goblin’s most perplexing soundtrack, it’s the 1979 horror cinema experience from the cum-soaked mind of Joe D’Amato lovingly and alternately known as Beyond the Darkness, Buio Omega, Buried Alive, In Quella Casa Buio Omega, House 6: El Terror Continua, and Zombi 10. Tune in to learn all this information and so much more in this most absurd episode of Loathsome Things: the official horror movie podcast of 1970s bush-centric European stag films!
If you would like to recommend a movie, tell us what kind of wine comes in that kind of bottle, or ask us horror movie-related questions, you can do so by reaching out to us on
Twitter: @LoathsomePod
Instagram: @LoathsomePod
Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast
Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com
The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List
(of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast)
(1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981)
(2) Brian De Palma’s Carrie (1976)
(3) Rose Glass’ Saint Maud (2019)
(4) Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (1974)
(5) George A Romero’s Night of the Living Dead (1968)
(6) Alex Garland’s Men (2022)
(7) Miike Takashi’s Audition (1999)
(8) Ti West’s X (2022)
(9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)
(10) Bob Clark’s Deathdream (1974)
Honorable Mentions:
Beyond the Door III (1989) – Not a great horror movie, but so much fun to watch!
The Pit (1981) – Watch this coming-of-age story about seeing boobs and feeding beasts!
Transcript
Josh
Body of a *****. Body three times. Pain and torture. First body in a bed. Body growing dead body in a crypt body. Hell fire dipped. Body ringing bell body into hell. Always be a taker. Meet your maker. No one's life you save robs some in your grave. It's loathsome things, a horror movie podcast with be the Josh and he the John. John. How are you on this most horrific of?
John
I'm hell be.
Josh
Dipped dipped hell fire dipped.
John
Hell be doing whatever the **** it was. Somebody actually wrote a rhyme to go along with whatever they said in Italian.
Josh
I know, I know. Like someone's job was to come up with a little, like set of rhyming couplets to to go with whatever was actually. Supposed to be there.
John
Man, I would love to see this movie in Italian with English subtitles.
Josh
Ohh man yeah that would be good. You could also do what I did. I watched the movie that this is a remake of in Italian without subtitles.
John
Ohh, that's even better. Yeah, the third eye, right?
Josh
The third eye? Yeah, it's it's real confusing when you have no idea what. People are saying.
Josh
So, John, what are we?
Josh
Even talking about.
John
Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked. Because this time around. We shall be talking about. We're going to talk about a little Italian schlock exploitation film that was directed by a fine fellow named occasionally named Joe Di Amato.
Josh
Some types named Joe Demon.
John
1970 nines. Delightful and absolutely delicious. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a moron beyond the darkness.
Josh
Also known by other names. A lot of other names, some of them. Some of them just just out of nowhere. That thing, but yeah, it was the whole thing. Apparently the director, Joe D'amato, was friend with Mino Guerini, who directed the third eye. And one day they were hanging out. Just spit balling ideas and he was like, hey, what if I remade your movie but made it sleazier?
John
It's an interesting film. It's gonna be fun to talk about. I liked the I was excited to hear that Goblin did the soundtrack, or as they mistakenly referred to. Them the goblins. But except for a few bits, overall, the soundtrack is terrible.
Josh
Yeah, it's if you have ever had your manager pop in a VHS tape so you could watch a training video on your first day on the job, then you know what this movie sounds.
John
Like please contact the HR department if you have any issues with other employees.
Josh
There are times where the soundtrack's really cool, like they'll purposefully hit these flat notes to like, reflect what's going on, like like it's entertaining at times and other times just very irritating.
John
When I make my movie, I'm going to have the entire soundtrack be done live with a guy with a French horn who just makes fart noises.
Josh
Yeah, I I want. I want my life soundtrack to be done by someone with a severe anxiety disorder that wasn't given their medicine today and they have to like. They're always trying to catch up with what's going on, like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me. The soundtrack I want.
John
They have to play it on a hooter.
Josh
Of course, Goblin to they did the soundtrack for the original dawn of the dead phenomena, Suspiria and Tenebre. So lot of lot of good Italian movie horror movies with that, and by a lot I mean mostly just those that I listed. They also had a song in Shaun of the Dead.
John
Yeah, that's true. And just in case you really enjoyed this music, in which case, by the way, you're an idiot. It was also used in the films the other Hell and Hell of The Living Dead, because in Europe all horror films are of the Living dead.
Josh
And one thing that was cool. So the actor in here, Frank Astolfi, who plays clever, sweet, good Iris actually was reunited with this soundtrack whenever she starred in the other hell.
John
Wonderful. The amazing franca stoppi. Veteran of the Women's Prison series of films and also a little a little number known in English as dog lay afternoon or in its native Italian bestiality or something like that.
Speaker 5
Good it is what you think it is if.
Josh
If, if you're if you're.
Josh
Catching on to to a like a a niche like a specific what? What what's happening here? So I want to go into a little bit about Joe D'amato. Joe D'amato is the king of 1970s and 80s Italian sleaze cinema. He has 199 directing credits to his name and about 100 and 21120 of those are just straightforward *********** videos.
John
Gotta love it.
Josh
This is one of his most famous horror movies, along with Anthropophagus and the semi sequel to that absurd, this came out. This film came out during his horror **** over crossover era, which included Papaya love, goddess of the cannibals, orgasmo. Arrow, Emmanuel and the white slave trade ****** Knights of the Living Dead and poor no Holocaust.
John
**** in a that is fantastic. By the by the way, and Trump of Vegas and that absurd are those movies are.
Josh
Yes, they they rock. This guy like while while he was mostly about the the ******* and portraying the penetration and stuff like that he when his in his ***** she was like we need to really like push the boundaries of what's allowable as far as gore is concerned and. Boy, does he ever. And it is fantastic. Like this isn't the kind of movie that you would expect to watch and think ohh wow, this contributed to the artistry of horror. Cinema but it. Actually does and it's amazing also very.
John
Yes, yes, yes, on all counts. The it's funny because he I was reading a little bit about it and said that he he was kind of down on his own ability to build suspense. In other words, he couldn't do it. So he went ahead and just did the extreme. Shock value instead, and he's very proud of that which he damn well ought to be.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, I like that. He's like, I don't feel confident in my ability to build suspense, so I'm just gonna not try.
John
You got to know your strengths. I like that the.
Josh
Like what if?
John
Ohh yeah, go ahead. Well, I was gonna say.
Speaker 5
No, no, you.
John
It was a. The film was released in 87, called in Inquiry a Casa built Omega to try to to try to pass it off as being related to the Evil Dead series, which it of course was not at all, and then it was released in Italy as Lacasa and. Macasa do way I guess as you would. Today in Spain, the movie was marketed as being a sequel to the House franchise. Therefore, House 6 and then El Terror, or El Perro continua, and then in Mexico it was billed as being part of the.
Josh
Zombie franchise it was listed as Zombie Ten. Oh my God. Yeah, this is. That's one of my favorite things about this era of horror movies is like. It's just nonsense. They're like, what if we just said it was part of another thing? And I I honestly think that's beautiful. I I love it because it just creates such a tangled mess of history to try to a.
John
Not it wasn't. Wasn't Fulci's zombie build as? Night of the Living Dead sequel wasn't that I think so, yes, yeah. It's all complete ********. No one gave any *****. I love Italians. They just lie and they don't give a damn. I was looking for the Napolitano Pizza house. Is it this direction C?
Josh
- Thank you.
John
Where am I? There's no pizza restaurant here.
Josh
Let's see Joe's other directing credits include Ator, the Fighting Eagle famous from mystery science.
Speaker
Right.
John
Theater 3, yes.
Josh
The Devil's wedding night, the crawlers. Black Cobra woman paradiso, blue blue, ****** climax. Super Climax sex penitentiary cop sucker cop. Sucker two and zombie 5.
John
Oh, my God. Get it together. OK.
Josh
Yeah, famously in the 1990s he was resistant to the change from film to video in the pornographic **** ***********. And he was like, yeah, it just doesn't feel as good. But I guess I'll do it. He also didn't like the fact. People wanted *********** to just portray a lot of extreme sex. He really wanted it, which is funny when you. Watch this movie. He was like, yeah, but what about the story element? Don't want the story element of *********** anymore.
John
What about the art?
Josh
So, yeah, this movie stars Kieran Kantor as Frank. Kieran Kantor would go on to be in some ****, but not much.
John
Yeah, basically just a bunch of soft **** or not a whole lot of. What was the other like? What do you say? Monreale Monreale, who plays Anna.
Josh
And spoiler alert, she's awesome. Oh no, she also plays Elena.
John
She plays her sister. Yeah, she's Christ. She was she was in full. She's the beyond, which is absolutely ******* **** ***. I love that moon. She's the lady with the whited out eyes.
Josh
Also, she was in full cheese. The Sweet House of horrors.
John
That I have not seen it sounds delightful.
Josh
Yeah, I know. That's what is you doing in here?
John
She was and Dario Argento. Argentos the Stendahl syndrome, so a definite veteran of some classic horror, even outside of this fine piece of film.
John
This fine pizza.
John
Which I'm so glad was shot on 16 millimeter film, apparently because if it had it been shot on video, it would have looked bad.
Josh
So a lot happens in this movie. John, do we need to warn? I mean, there's a yeah. There's a dead baboon. That was kind of upsetting. I forgot about that.
John
Yeah, that was upsetting. There was some possible well hints. More at necrophilia, probably in the Italian version. Straight up necrophilia. Yeah, there was a lot of dancing around, some really terrible things. If you're not a fan of of using actual pig body parts to make your gore scenes, then this is not the movie for you. If you don't like to see.
Josh
Grown men breastfeed. This is probably not gonna be the one for.
John
You, Jesus Christ. Yes, I forgot. Forgot about the breast. Feeding their nursemaid.
John
Oh my God.
Josh
This movie is ridiculous. There's also if you're offended by the naked female Bush, then this movie is not gonna be for you.
John
Yeah, you better get whipped. The hedge trimmers out because this one goes for it, yeah.
Josh
Ohh some some very homage to Herschel Gordon Lewis dismemberment so. So just be prepared for that before you view it, which you may have already done. Because we told you 2 two weeks ago.
John
In 2023, the the It's kind of you'd be kind of hard pressed to find the effects believable, but if you're squeamish and you're not somebody that you know, if you just react to that stuff, period, then yeah, this this movie might be a little tough for you to watch.
Josh
Yeah, I liked that there was. There was a a fake arm, just like the one in dance mapu, but the IT was. Like, oh, the one in dance mapu. Actually does look better than this. One nice technology advanced that's right, moving right along.
Josh
Yeah, you couldn't see through.
Josh
The one in dance mafoo.
John
Ohh yeah, I also wanted to mention which I thought was hilarious, that the reason Francastel Papi got the role. Toby was because another actress agreed to play Iris, sight unseen, read the script and was like no. And Frank Estopa, I was like.
John
Well, **** yeah, I'll do it.
John
Nice because she's awesome. What a trooper. Kick us off. Alright, well, the movie starts with a weird looking European red van truck driving through the woods while we listen to pretty awful goblin music. It's very 70s, of course, the guys driving along in his obscenely loud truck and he arrives at what I would describe as a ship house. He gets, gets out and meets a swarthy other douche, and then they work together to lift a very heavy box inside the van. Then Jordi Ouche leaves. He gets back in his van because it looked like he was wearing jordash jeans. If I was, if I wasn't mistaken, OK.
Josh
Just wondering where that was coming, Jordan?
John
So he drives away and we cut to a hazy filtered shot of a Crone, putting needles in voodoo dolls. While that are basically, you know based on a picture of the main character and what I'm assuming is his girlfriend, which of course it is and. Another lady with weird lips is sitting there watching this happen, and she's obviously loving it, so that's that's setting up something. They the the girlfriend, as it turns out, is in the hospital, ****** ** and moaning and she is doing a lot of gasping and then sort of red lines. Except I don't know what that meter is that's regulating her heart. I looks like something else entirely, but whatever.
Josh
I think it I think it's measuring whether or not her makeup needs to be replaced.
John
There's some lady in there who I thought was a nurse, but she like. Very not too worried, gets up and says. Nurse and then a doctor comes in and gives her an Ivy shot of some sort, and then she moans a lot and calls for Frank. So that's the red. That's the jordache. So meanwhile, Frank arrives at a Chateau and opens the little gate drives in. Suddenly the box. That he carries inside by himself is really not that heavy anymore, which I thought was interesting. He brings it into the Chateau and unpacks what turns out to be a dead male baboon. Which looked like a dead male baboon. It was pretty disgusting, not not disgusting, but little disturbing. He doses it with some sort of amber juice in this giant syringe that he has. And then while this is going on, the lady with the lips is snooping as he. Leaves that room and heads upstairs into the Chateau. Back at the hospital, the dying lady wants makeup as as you do, and the nurse deftly applies man makeup on with might. Might as well be a house painting brush. She's just like. Ah, there you go. It's so great back again at these chitter lips picks up. She picks up after douche cause he's he's made a mess in his bedroom, you know, cause he's a he's a naughty boy who's, like 30, she tells Frank. That the hospital called and then naked and tan Frank comes out. Grabs like with his clothes holding his junk, which I don't know why shy after what happens later, but he grabs his regular clothes and calls lips a stupid idiot for not telling him sooner.
Josh
You stupid idiot.
John
Back at the hospital, Frank Frank rushes in. He runs into. The best character in the movie, a random old person. With a funny.
Josh
Hey, where'd you get your license?
Josh
I I want to know what the original like was that what it was supposed to be in the original, or I can't imagine.
John
God only knows he's great. He he gets to, he gets to Anna's bedside, and he tenderly makes out with her to death. Back at the back at.
John
The ship, yeah.
John
In a very ornate bedroom, apparently Frank is the King of Italy. Uhm, he mopes. He's like sitting at this little desk or, you know, bedside, dresser or whatever. Just moping over these two horrible photos like one of of two people, another, neither of which look like her. And then a big portrait of himself. And he's just like, moping and then lips comes in and. You know, I mean, it's perfectly understandable. He's he's having a hard time. His girlfriend just died. So she whips it tight out and breastfeeds him. And it's extremely sexual and very strange.
Josh
Yeah, yeah. She's just, like, cooing at him and telling him that everything's gonna be OK and saying her own name over and over to him, she's like, it's OK. Sweet, Sweet Iris is gonna make everything good for you.
John
And he's like.
Josh
So bizarre this is the point. Whenever I first watched the movie I. Ohh I have to show John.
John
Doing it now we're back at or we're we're at at the Funeral Home and she's in her casket and Frank goes to visit her and he juices her with the amber hoist that he gave the baboon. While for no reason. The mortician who had just left. In the other room peeks back in to spy on the guy. What what reason? He's just sitting there, looking at her. He doesn't look weird or anything, and the dude peeks back in just in time to see him inject the juice into her neck. Then it's her funeral. There's a bunch of very serious Italian people in the background are a bunch of half naked Italian guys who are, like, working on something I don't. I think it was a mistake that they left that in the shot or something.
Josh
They're probably working on the *********** in the background.
John
I was like, are those people naked? What is going on?
Josh
Back there I didn't notice. I'll have to go back.
John
And watch it again.
Josh
It's ohh no.
John
It's so weird.
John
They they lower her casket with two ropes into this really narrow hole. That's like super deep. And then they show, like her parents, you know, mourning her mother has a gargantuan cold sore on her lip. Then her dad's there and a super hot blonde lady who looks just like her named Ellen's dad after the funeral, begs the priest essentially to do all The Dirty work. Because he can't handle, it's too much for him so he could bail and his wife can leave Italy. The daughter is gonna stick back though, and and complete her school. The mortician is is very conspicuously snooping on the proceedings. Now we're back at the cemetery. It's at night, and there's there's George Douche digs. Anna, who, by the way, is suddenly like, 6 inches below the surface, like, somehow the. And there's roses on top of her casket, which are clean, even though he just dug her up. He takes her and wraps her up in like a blanket and takes her and and then he drives the the van and spots a hitchhiker out in the middle of ******* nowhere. Who's like, hey, stop. And he just drives away.
Josh
But much to his. Misfortune, his tiny red van gets a flat tire. He has to stop. He changes the tire. There's some police officers in a station wagon. They offer him help. He's like, Nah. And then they drive along, he gets back in his van and ohh the the British hitchhiker from earlier is now in the passenger seat. She's just invited herself into his car and is offering him high-powered weed. Which she then begins to roll a joint and we can all see that it is **** tobacco. Just it's just so obvious. It is if you've ever rolled tobacco and you got the like Bally, **** or something, you know what this is? It's not weed. Weed does never look like this.
John
No, it looks like if somebody took the world's smallest sheet of brown paper and ran it through the world's smallest paper shredder, yes.
Josh
And she's just going on and on about how like she even says that this stuff is worth its weight in gold and how like it's gonna, like, really, like, knock your **** out or whatever. She she rolls it up. She takes a. Passes it to him and he's like, no, thank you. And then she just passes out, like she cannot handle her ****. There's also a thing that's supposed to be suspense, which Joe D'amato has said he cannot do about like Anna's hand flopping in through the little window and him like. Her not seeing it and him trying to hide it, it does nothing. It's stupid. Yeah, I love how they tried to set it up by having him notice that the glass window that took effort to move just opens on its own for some reason. Yeah, I love how jiggly Anna's body is, too. It is just. It's another case of the very bouncy cars of yore.
John
It's that it's that brown juice.
Josh
Yeah, that jiggly brown juice. Uh, back at home, Frank unloads Anna's body and dissects her while the hitchhiker is still asleep in the van. Anna's ***** can be seen prominently and look remarkably similar to the **** tobacco that is keeping this whole situation afloat. There's some great skin cutting and gut pulling scene. This is done with the aforementioned pigskin and guts from the slaughterhouse. It looks real good, but apparently they like. Soaked the pig guts in red dye because like it is just staining her skin in a very not normal blood way, but it still looks great and there's like this whole scene where it's like she's lying naked on the table and you can see this like this pink foldy lip incision running down her body. And it's like, wow, that looks really gross.
John
Yeah, yeah, they did a good job with that as impress.
Josh
Yeah, and she almost did a really good job of looking dead and not like giggling at being tickled or like breathing and stuff like that. Every once in a while, you're like, oh, I saw you. I saw you. But you know.
John
She does a pretty good job for for someone who has to basically do nothing on camera.
Josh
And then then Frank Yanks out Anna's heart. He kisses it and then takes a big old chunky bite out of it, which causes blood to spurt out of the ventricles. It's so stupid. It's really stupid and amazing. Yeah, but yeah, it's real dumb. And it doesn't make any sense with the type of stuff that happens later in this movie, much less the stuff that has already happened.
John
And he's like, semi orgasmic when he. Does it too.
Josh
Oh yeah, he's super into it. Also, that heart is enormous.
John
It's like the size of his skull. I read that they used to sheep's heart and I just was looking at. That and going. I don't think that's a. Real heart that looks.
Josh
Plastic. I don't know. I don't know. Then he he pulls out his copper tubes, which he gets all heated up and shoves them just right up into Anna's nostrils. And then he vacuums out annae's guts. I guess her brain. Through the nose and it comes out as the chicken Mcnugget pink slime that we all saw on YouTube back in the day.
John
A watermelon smoothie.
Josh
So apparently all you do is you just shove a copper tube into each one and you start pushing air through one end and everything from the body just comes out the other tube in a nice like protein shake style.
John
Cleans it, right?
Speaker 5
Yeah, it's good you don't have.
Josh
To do anything. At the time, Nope. You ain't gotta blend it. Up it's fine.
John
No prep work at all.
Josh
At this point, the hitchhiker wakes up flops her way around the whole place, finds Frank doing this horrible thing with a dead body, screams, and then Frank goes and grabs her to get her.
John
To to get her.
Josh
And then he grabs a giant pair of like horse nail Clippers or something. And then while she is screaming and struggling for her life, he. Carefully and precisely proceeds to rip her fingernails off of her hand while she's screaming and struggling, and then after he gets the fingernails off of one hand, he smothers her to death. What's going on there, bro?
John
It makes no sense. And her screams are agonizing.
John
Ohh man yes.
Josh
And it's like that scene that is like the most. Italian horror movie scene I've ever watched in my life. He's like, ah, yes, you're screaming here. Let me torture your fingernails. I'm so strong.
Speaker 5
Then I'll smother you to death.
Josh
He stashes her body in the tiny van, which we can now see is about four feet tall. It it's really an amazing Little Feat of engineering. We see that Iris has witnessed the whole thing. She looked sternly at him. Then helps him dress Anna's body in a nice gown, paints her fingernails red, and they put her in the Lucy Desi twin bed up against each other. Situation the the next morning the the baboon guy shows back up. His client is interested in the baboon, he says, and he wants to. He wants to buy it back from from Frank and so he can sell it for a bunch of money. Frank's like, no, I don't need money. I don't do this for this. This is my hobby guy. That's right. He's he's. Yeah, he does. Taxidermy. Lots of taxidermy everywhere.
Speaker 5
It's so stupid.
Josh
It's so stupid and it turns out that it's just to let the funeral guy sneak into the house. We see him sneaking in through a back room. He doesn't find the Hitchhiker's body, but he does find some blood. He finds her necklace and then he gets back in. The funeral guy pays paid the the baboon guy the baboon. Guys like hell. What was the deal with that? And he's like, hey, why don't you go **** ***? Guy Frank sees that someone snooped it. It turns out that Iris hid the body. The two of them go into the bathroom now together after, like, saying. Mean things to each other to dispose of the body. They start taking all of her clothes off. She's a large woman, yeah. Iris starts hacking off body parts just like she's got. She's got this big butchers axe and she's just like looking around trying to figure out where to even begin. And then she just like, it's like, all right, I'm going to start over here and starts hacking away over here. Has a breathing mask on and he starts filling the bathtub with acid from. Bottles of what you would assume is port wine because it's a green glass bottle with the rope.
Josh
Stuff on the outside.
Speaker 5
It's like a.
John
Tea and tea bottle.
Josh
And they have five of. Them he just keeps.
Josh
Pouring more and more acid into the bathtub and he like the scene. Goes on forever. So she's she's chopping off the head. She like she. You see it? She like hangs. It's like dangling. She's got it from the hair. She flings it in there. So it's this horrible flesh eating acid and she's just chunking body parts into it without any regard for the splash.
John
No regard for the splash. She has no body protection on of any kind. He's wearing a giant rubber apron and gloves and that stupid mask, and she's just going.
Josh
They did a great job. It's it's one of those situations where, like they had the the actor like, move her head over to the side so that you don't see it in the shot anymore. Cause now it looks like she's like her head is gone. Same thing with her arm. They're just chopping off bits. It's real good, but it goes on forever. And at first, you're like, wow, this is taking too long. And then after a. While you're like this. Is ******* amazing.
John
I mean afterwards they have real carnage on the floor and she's like. Scooping up chunks of meat and like hip sockets and just blood like actual animal blood, you could tell just by looking at it. It's really disgusting and she's like basically cleaning up the carnage that she left behind and just, you know, and then the meantime, like dumping it all into this bathtub. Yeah, it's ******* great. I loved this scene. I love when the the cheesy skull with the eyeball still in it. Like floats up to the surface of the tub.
Josh
So much eyeball stuff in this movie, I didn't mention it earlier, but the part that the hitchhiker walked in on was when he was like, shoving a fake eye into Anna's empty eye socket. And she's.
Speaker 5
Like, it's so good.
John
Oh my God. And then so then. Let's buries the. Loopy remains of the hitchhike Chris and then and then afterwards they're in the they're in the kitchen slash. Eating table, whatever he's sitting at the table, she's washing up, like cleaning the bucket out from. You know this, this burial or dumping or whatever. And then without washing her hands or anything, she pours 2 bowls of disgusting soup. And then while she's doing and then she sits down and starts eating it like she's. Some kind of like cave woman. Just it's just like like basically just taking hands full of it and justice rubbing it across her face, hoping some will get in her mouth. And Frank is is is clearly like in his mind, he's seeing the gore from the scene earlier and then he can't take it, he gets up and barfs. What I can only describe his heavy cream. It's like, what the hell did this guy just drink a Fort like a pint of heavy cream for breakfast?
Josh
He up Chuck some half and half.
John
So it's so disgusting.
Josh
And she's still got, like, her arms are covered in, like, the black chunky water from the burial and. When did she have time to cook the slop? Is it implying that they're eating the hitchhiker like I don't understand?
John
That's what I kind of thought it. But then I'm like, but they they don't show or save anything. They threw it all in the in the splashy acid. So I don't, I don't know. It was great though.
Josh
It it is great and it doesn't make any sense because we just saw him kiss and take a chump out of a heart after like dissecting someone and yanking on the guts and stuff. So why is he now, like sickened by? It doesn't make sense.
John
He is an aversion to sue. So now we're at we're at. Anna's bed side. And he's moping again. And you know, whenever whenever Frank's moping, you can count on Mama lips to come in and and calm him down. So she sits next to him and starts feeling him up. Basically, she's like sticking your hands up under his. V next sweater. And then she dips, trowel and is like digging in for the happy ending and saying things like. Iris knows how to take care of him, doesn't she? So she's yeah, she strokes him out of his sadness, I guess. And then I guess I'm assuming he ****** his pants and then had to go change his pants. But anyways, back at the Funeral Home, we're in a back office and it's ******* filthy. It's a place. Like, what is going on? He's got, like, a looks like a bookshelf. Behind him and on one of the shelves is a casket. What a cool guy. So where this guy shows up and it's like he's hired a Private Eye to appear. Without any pay, go, go, research and provide this mortician Frank's entire life story, and then what he does, the guy like whips his wallet. He's like, here you go. Good work now.
Josh
He he pays him like you pay a bell, man.
John
It gives him a tip. And then we see Frank, who, who's dressed up like marathon man. He's like jogging through town and then suddenly he's in the mountains. And I mean the setting is beautiful. And then yeah, oh, what do you know, he's just happens to be jogging behind some hot girl who looks like she's never run a step in her life. She's like, first of all, she's not sweating at all, and she she can't. I mean, she could barely run in a straight line. And then, wow, she had twisted her ankle, and he's gonna have to help her, you know? So he he. He wants her to wait. You know, cuz he's going to go to the to the pharmacy. And get some liniment but. Then he realizes it would just be easier to carry her to his house. Where he rubs white cream on her ankle and she asks him if he's a doctor. Wow, you're really.
Josh
Good at that.
John
It's like with he just put.
John
And he, he like, kisses her hand and stuff like it's obvious that he's he's, you know, he's down to clown. Because apparently the handy that he just. Andy, that lips gave him earlier wasn't enough, so he he goes somewhere in the house to get he's on a gauze run and he stops. Of course, cause he has to visit dead Anna for a second. I don't know if he's like to get it up or whatever. And then and then jangle the jogger with the ankle calls for him. Calls for him, so he hides Hannah real quick, like, flips the bedspread up over her. She's like, like, weighs like £80.00, so he can kind of hide her under a bedspread. And then he he wraps her ankle. And you know, it's getting all good and she's. Like, oh, wait until you finish wrapping the ankle. So then they get into the bed right next to Anna, where the the matching twin beds with velvety blankets, and they start getting all feely and Frank pulls the bedspread down so he can look at Anna and kind of touch her or whatever so he can get the full corpse ***** and the jogger sees her. And for some reason this is upset by this. I don't know why. Freaks the **** out. So Frank bites a hole in her neck, which kills her, and then he eats it.
Josh
Whatever, it's so good.
John
So he's in some sort of strange orgasmic.
Speaker 5
Daze. He's just.
John
Blood on him. And the lips walks in, of course, because she's always there at the key moment, takes the jogress and tosses her into. That dude has a ******* crematorium in his basement.
Josh
She she hadn't.
Josh
Thought about that at the after the first one, she was like, all right, look, I can't chop up another body.
John
That was too much work, I thought, chopping up a body was going to be no big deal. How silly of me to forget that you have a crematorium in your taxidermy station. So they just they just toss the jogger into the crematorium thing and, uh, fire it up and then she does this cool, like scrunching up thing like she's. Yeah, it's great I call. Oh, yeah, I called it the taxidermy torium. And then, yeah, so it's amazing. But anyways, lips now has suggested that. She just she just she suggests that Frank get rid of Anna because you know, because she wants all the attention basically, but also because the, you know, it's crazy. And the odds of keeping a weirdly preserved dead body in your bedroom is probably. Not a good idea so. She says it's for his safety and she's like.
John
Forget about her. She's dead.
John
And we're alive. But Frank's not having it. He's going to keep her in her own room. She's getting all dressed up because, you know, they're going to have guests or whatever. Then the cops show up and she immediately puts on her nursemaid. Get up with an apron again because she can't have guests. You know, with the police to know that you're having guests. I didn't understand that.
Josh
There was a lot of her walking back and forth in a room, taking a gown off, putting a gown back on. It was like.
John
I don't think.
John
The cops care. They're just looking for a missing jogger. So she's kind of, you know, they're they're asking a bunch of questions outside and frank. Answering their questions, but obviously being vague and then she's a little bit more kind of aggressive, like pushing back and then they're like, you know, well, we could get a we could get a warrant, but we would really like to search the place if we could. And she's like, sure come on in. So they they go straight to the taxidermy torium. They're like looking around and the guys like, oh, these are these are amazing. What is this? It's like some taxidermied animal I didn't even. Catch what it was.
Josh
It's like a bird or.
John
Something. Yeah, like a bird.
Josh
Or a squirrel like it was. Just one he's like ooh.
John
And she's like, ohh well here, let me wrap that for you so you can take it home for free.
John
She just puts a piece of paper.
Josh
Like ohh here. Yeah, you wouldn't wanna.
Josh
Touch that. That's so weird.
John
Oh my God. And then the cops are like, well, you know, I think I've. Seen enough and they leave.
Josh
And yeah, whatever, and and then.
John
That was so strange. And then we we cut to a dinner table. She's back in her her gown or dress or whatever the ****. There's all these weird people in that in like leader hose and and **** sitting around the table and and then there's this woman who has a full on mustache. Like just rocking the stash? Like where no one's going to mention this, OK, Italy. And they're like, EZ, what the fathers spread, that you got the and she she brings in this suckling pig or piglet. It's really small, I don't know. And they're all sitting there and they ask about Frank.
Josh
Know Liz Wizard the Frank Carini?
Josh
They're all drinking like they've got like these, these tiny little cordial cups full of cranberry juice. I assume they're there's even this one, like, whenever the pig comes out there like and he's like alright, I know when people want me to do a thing and he like he goes to carve the pink but it like leaves the pig all the way in the middle of the table. So he's having to, like, reach all the way over with the fork and knife, and it's real awkward. And meanwhile, Frank is just moping outside. And then yeah, they call for him. He comes in. He doesn't say ****, but then Iris announces that they're going to get married.
John
What the **** was that? Where I'm like, how? How many times do I have to watch this movie and, you know, to go back and see the part where they talk about getting married because they don't? They never talked about it. This is literally the only scene in which that gets mentioned.
Josh
And we don't know who these people are. It seems like they're her friends, but she's the maid. I don't know what's happening.
John
It's it's butcher, Baker linguine maker.
Josh
Nice. Ohh man.
Josh
So that he just leaves while everyone's like mid cranberry juice toast and they're like ohh he must be feeling weird. I don't know. I got a little French in there. He goes to Anna's bedside and begins to cry and profess his forever love for her, and then goes for a jog. For some reason, yeah. At this point, the funeral guy is back. He's sneaking into the house again. Iris, all of the guests are gone. Iris is just **** face drunk. Honestly, the best job I've ever seen of a person in a movie. Stumbling around after waking up drunk like I was like, wow, that is, that is exactly what it looks like.
John
Her hair's all messy. It's great.
Josh
Yeah, she just can't really do a straight line. All good, she thought she heard someone. She's so she's. Stumbling around the house looking for Frank. It doesn't matter that she's drunk. Meanwhile, the funeral guy has found the one ugly, dingy poor people. Part of the house. It's like some basement or something where the ceiling is like 6 feet high. And it's all painted like ****, and he's, like, looking through stuff, and he finds Anna's body in a in a closet. It falls out like in the movie pieces, but this did come out before the movie pieces. I'm sure there are other movies that this coping, but I was like, hey. Just like in.
Josh
Then he he takes a photo.
Josh
Of the body laying on the floor and scoots out and then we see him developing the photo somewhere else.
John
Now we're in his his personal black room, yeah.
Josh
Ohh, it's so ******.
John
And why did she fall face first out of the dresser and land on her back?
Josh
She standing up in there?
John
It gets better.
Josh
It does, Iris then tells Frank to get rid of his gross doll. He slaps her. She tells him he'll be sorry. Then he leaves and goes to a discotheque.
John
As one do.
Josh
Yeah, he finds the one hoochie in the whole place. She's on the dance floor, surrounded by only men who are also dancing by themselves. No one is dancing together. None of these ***** Italian dudes are trying to approach her, and she is just doing the thing where you swing. Their ***** left and right as hard as possible. It's the most deliberate attempt for male attention I've ever seen. So he's just watching like a creep. He ends up bringing her home where she spends a good deal of time washing her **** in 1970s green water. John, you lived in the 70s, right? Why was the water always green?
John
Well, you see. In in France, what they would do is instead of having water run through the plumbing, they would use absinthe and then what you would do is put a little filter over the faucet head with sugar cubes in it. So as the absinthe passed through, it turned green.
Josh
- That makes sense. That makes sense. I I I would assume in Ireland what it was is the pipes were made out of Clover.
John
That's exactly correct. Yes, the pipes were made of Clover and and so then you would. Then you would have boxes of Lucky Charms. I don't know. What I'm talking about?
Josh
There it is. That was good. I liked it. You stuck the. So yeah, so she's just in the bathtub washing her ****. Meanwhile, someone pulls up to the house in a taxi. Opens the door. It's Elena and his twin sister. Uh, iris is just. **** like she has no ******* idea what's up. She is just done with expressions. Yeah, she's lost. Frank sees this from the top of the stairs. She goes he he goes and he bullies. This is such a weird movie. He goes to to the discotheque. In the bathroom, he's. Like, hey, you have to leave now. I'll take you home. But you have to leave. And she's like, I'm not leaving until you put your come on me. And he's like, no, no, no. You have to leave. I'm gonna drive you home. And that's what happens. He like like. Smuggles her out the back, drives her home. This guy that just kills people. He's like, yeah. I'll take you home. It's going to be fine. So yeah, it's. Just that that happens and.
John
So well, you have to understand that he he felt sorry for her because she had very dirty ****.
Josh
So while while he's driving disco hoochie home. Iris is now left alone in the house with Anna. And So what she decides to do is she's going to. Move annas body into a spooky spot. Cut off the lights and then do a spooky voice at Elena like.
Josh
Woo the house is.
Josh
Jesus Christ, and to her credit, this is entirely effective and Elena cannot handle her ****. So she, like, backs up everywhere. Also, there's an amazing like giant bronze like furnace in the side of the room. I don't know what's going on. But that thing was ******* awesome. I need one of those.
John
Is that is that the thing that's covered in what looks like jade or something like? What the hell was that?
Josh
Like, like, shiny green.
John
Like wow, that is, it was a time machine.
Josh
You must have done so good in fascist Italy in this.
Josh
House time machine. I just come.
Josh
And so, yeah. So Elena is, like, spooking her way through the house. And then, like, I think she sees Anna's body propped up in the chair. And then she she turns around, and there's Iris in the shadows holding a knife the wrong way. Like they're they're. All sorts of different ways that you can hold the knife in a minute. Don't imagine any of those this is. The wrong way to.
John
Yeah, this is one step short of carrying it by the blade. I like when Elena's going through the House and she's got a candle to light her way and the way they they decided to shoot that was to hit her with a flashlight so that it would look like her. Candle was lighting the way when it's so clear that someone behind.
John
The camera is.
John
Just dosing her with a flashlight. It's like, yeah, why not?
Josh
So the very sight of Iris in the darkness with the knife is enough to cause her to collapse into a coma. Yeah, apparently she's done. Yeah, yeah, she she goes full blown, comatose, and then I. Chris very slowly comes up like it's it's hard. Like we're like, OK, she just wanted to scare the **** out of her, I guess. But no, she comes up to her very slowly and is like just step out because he can't build tension for ****. Joe Tomato knows this about himself after watching this movie, he cannot build. Mentioned for ****. So she just very slowly comes up to stab her. And then at the last second, I guess ******* frank, like, really took that hoochie home fast. She must live near by, that turns out.
John
She lives right.
Josh
Next door, Jesus in his in his like like isolated estate in the Italian countryside. He's just, like, got her back and and then drove back home real quick. I guess he knew that this was gonna be a problem. And so, just as she's bringing the knife down to stab Elena, he grabs her arm. He's suddenly there. And now they're fighting. ** *** she stabs him in the penis.
John
In the brown Jenkins.
Josh
Yeah, she separates the Frank from the beans. And he, like, does the whole. But then it's still good to keep fighting. So, so part of him getting stabbed in the penis as he falls back and, like sits in Anna's dead lap, the chair folds over there. He's, like, sprawling out on top of her.
John
He bites Iris's cheek off. He gives her a 50% Chelsea Grin.
Josh
She rips out his eye and more eyeball stuff. Yeah, and then he stabs her in the heart, which, which I'm sure Joe was like, ohh man, this is going to be really symbolic and help add to the tension.
Speaker 5
I'll teach them about suspense.
Josh
And then so Iris is now dead. He's stabbed her in the heart. Then he walks over to make sure that Elena's heart is beating. It is, and then he picks her up and carries her away. Later or something? Funeral Guy is now snooping around again. He just he can't get his fill of this situation.
Speaker 5
Is a new obsession.
Josh
We don't really know what his motive is either. He's just like looking for it. He he's snooping around, he finds Frank. Frank is still covered in blood. There's just blood all over his, like, dripping down out of his eye and and Frank is Manning the furnace and and Frank is, like, just conscious enough to, like, see the funeral guy and then pass out himself. And so the funeral guys like, oh, that's that's convenient. He looks in the furnace, he sees that there are bodies being burned. He he then sees Anna's body on the table and we find out this is in fact what he was here for, so he he picks up Anna's body. He drives. He puts the body in his car, drives away as he's driving off the property. We see he has the the photo that he took of Anna's body on the floor, and he drops it on the on the driveway, leaving the thing which is weird like it. Now we see what he wanted was Anna's body. Why he took the photo instead of just taking her body then we will never know. No, but he he he takes takes the body out. The photo he brings her body to the priest that presided over the funeral. They're talking about it. There's something about money being exchanged that didn't make sense. I guess I I think what we're supposed to get from it is that they found out that her body had been exhumed. And her parents paid him extra to get the body back or something like that, yeah. But it's super not clear. And then he he puts, he puts her body into the casket and him and the priest are talking. And then he slowly starts screwing the casket closed, and at this very moment with the coffin, shut the lid. Off and we see it's not Anna. In fact, it was Elena, and she's now flinging her arms and and just Jack Jaw opening her mouth in the most horrific, torturous expression ever screaming, screaming, flinging around, screaming, freeze frame. On her screaming face, it says the end, the end credits roll the goblin training video. Music plays movie over.
John
Oh my God. Ah, not never a dull moment.
Josh
No, no, many a confusing moment, but not dull.
John
Ohh yeah yeah yeah. Like like all Italian 70s or 90% of it makes no ******* sense. No idea.
Josh
I'm guessing there maybe there is a criticism of like the the wealthy Italian families. Like maybe this was playing into some stereotypes that I just don't know about.
John
Yeah, cause he's he like, inherited that fortune.
Josh
Right.
John
So he's just some spoiled rich kid who gets blow. He's from his nursemaid. I don't know what.
Josh
Yeah, that's right, the that's the the private investigator was like, yeah, I found out he's. Let's see here. He's like, ohh. OK. Here's a here's a tenner.
John
I couldn't have figured that out myself. He lives like *** **** castle.
Josh
So so John, yeah. But before we, before we. Dive into the things let's do the ratings.
Speaker 5
Josh
On a scale of 0 to 5, lonesome thing zero being this movie, doesn't it deserve to exist? And five, being that this is a masterpiece that other movies should be trying to emulate, and none of them ever will successfully rise to the occasion of, how would you rate Joe Demattos beyond the darkness parentheses? 1979.
John
I I don't know why I chose to do this 50. What four or five movies into the show, but it is. I decided to like break down into a comprehensive rating system, so like my first question is it horror 5? Yes, it's horror. It's straight up. Did I enjoy it? I gave it a.
John
3.5 you know?
John
OK, I enjoyed it. You know, overall production quality 2.5 pretty.
Josh
- Yeah, that's that's yeah. But that's in.
Josh
The middle right? Yeah, yeah.
John
Effects, effects and makeup. I'm gonna give it a 4.5 because. Loved it. Atmosphere, which I think is important in horror films. I'm going to give it a 2.8 because the atmosphere is.
Josh
OK, OK. Yeah, yeah.
John
Terrible in that film. It's not scary at all. It's place and horror, I think is another important category. I gave it. A 3.8 because I think it is. It does have its place, but most people, and if they're not. Horror fans won't know about this, but if you study horror, particularly the 70s, this film does have its place and it is well deserved writing and acting. I gave it A2 and I think I was being generous. Overall, divided by what was that seven? I believe it comes out to 3.44, which is probably pretty damn close to what I would have come up with. Anyway, had I been purely subjective, which it's all purely subjective.
Josh
Right. Yeah. Fantastic.
Josh
I gave it a 3.4. What the ****? I.
Josh
I I I mean, I agonized over that 3.4 I I was like oh man. But I need to I need to move these numbers here. Alright so so my my rubric is 1. So in each of these it's a number between .0. 1 so it's like on a 10 scale. And then I just add them all together. So is it a horror movie? I gave it a .8 like so. That's a that's a 8 out of 10. Basically I enjoyed it. I gave it a nine technical horror. I gave it A7. You know, there's some some ways in which it like it wasn't scary and that, but but the actual. Effects were just phenomenal and and and really good technical film. I gave it a .2. Yeah, artistry and contribution. I gave it 8 and all at like .8 point 9, point 7.2 and .8. That's a 3.4. We've got good rubrics.
John
They're actually pretty and and quite similar in in certain respects. Now, to be fair, like so.
Josh
We both gave this 3 point a 3.4 and. A 3.44. This is not a 3.4 out of five movie it is. It is not nearly a what? That's almost A7. Of 10 it's not, but it is definitely a 3.4 out of five loathsome things, like on on our scale. That's where it belongs.
John
That's right. We we will not be included in the Pantheon, but if you're going based entirely on our our mentality, which you know we all know about that by now, then yeah, I think a 3.4 ish 3 point. Yeah, I think that's fair. I like that. We were off by 4-1 hundredths of.
John
A point, yeah, yeah.
Josh
Yeah. So that is a 6.84 out of 10 loathsome things. That's way, way high.
John
This movie sucked ***.
Josh
This movie is terrible, but I just enjoyed it so much.
John
I I mean, I could. I could watch it as soon as we're done recording again and love it just as much.
Josh
So we've got like the other ones like a a muck train and and the pit this is like in those that vein of movies where it's just ridiculous. But this was just way better than those.
John
It is it is it? It it's almost an actual movie.
Josh
Yeah. So so Joe D'amato. Rest in ***********. You you made something that we really enjoyed, even though it was like sleazy as ****. There's so much like. Unlike just like, yeah, let's get some **** in here. Let's, let's show the whole Bush like. We're going for it, but. But I mean it it it's just one of the only movies I've ever seen that transcends the sleaze into just. Absurdly amazing nonsense.
John
Yeah, it it really. It really is a blast to watch. It's so ridiculous. It's such so 70s. It's it's great.
Josh
Whenever whenever I saw the suckling and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to tell John about this. And then when I. Talked to you about it? I was like, hey, have you heard of this movie? You've seen it. You're like, no, I. Haven't I was like.
Josh
Ohh yeah, it's gonna be so good. This is why we do this podcast. It's movies like this.
John
Ohh yeah absolutely. Yeah, I saw the cover. Maybe it looked vaguely familiar, but I didn't know. About this movie not at yeah.
Josh
And then I didn't even realize it until I was like going through it like the the goblin element. I was like ohh God John's gonna like this like, but it's all so terrible.
John
I know I'm. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna pinch a link on this and then it starts, starts good, starts strong for a good solid 8 or 9 seconds and then. Man, it just devolves into like training video stuff like you said. Yeah, that's it's that. Remember to turn your badge in at the end of the day.
Josh
You are required to wear the T-shirt and we will charge you for the T.
John
We will be leaving the bathroom doors open as a safety feature.
Josh
Remember, your manager is your friend.
John
If you encounter a homeless person washing their testicles in the sink.
Josh
Ohh, you get the idea. Yeah, yeah, if. A guy is hiding a baseball bat in his pants approach. Him from a distance. Please watch tape two to figure out what to do if you come across a pile of magazines covered and come.
John
And please grab a gluten free bagel on your way out the door.
Josh
Oh Barnes in problems. Good. All right. So yeah, yeah, a 6.84 any anything that you want to like, zoom in on and and and like, pay a special attention to or a favorite moment. Something that that made this a gym for you.
John
I mean the. The God there's. There were a lot. That's that's true. The the whole dismemberment scene was just classic. It was it was just pure. Pure Italian schlock. I mean that's that's what you you come for that and you have it. And yourself, Sir?
Josh
Ohh man I I just. All, all of the stuff with Iris, I mean, she's. The movie is about Frank, but it she is just such a great, weird villain. She's not even the villain, he's the villain. It's like he's the bad guy of the movie, but she's just so good and she eats up the screen every. Time she's on it. Your eyeball, like I could see why his career in softcore core *********** got started, but then didn't like finish because like, yeah, he's got, like, the eyes, he's got the hair, the jaw, like he's handsome. But your eyeballs just slip right off of him like he he could blend into a crowd of pretty people, but like the instant that she's on camera, you're like, whoa, what is she doing?
John
She's got a look. She just has that. There's just a look to her. He he has a look. What I would describe as a young Billy Joel.
John
So there you go with that.
Josh
So yeah, it was good. I loved it. If you can handle the problems, it's got some problems, but it's it's much easier to watch than some of the other weird stuff we've seen.
John
Yeah, yeah, it this this falls. Firmly in the place of horror.
Speaker 5
Yeah, you're you're good there.
Josh
Speaking of other things that things that we've watched, Sean, what about have you been watching anything else or consuming any other media or or doing any other cool things?
John
Hey, just the usual listening to a lot of audio books at work, horror audiobooks currently listening to a book called The Shoemakers Magician, which is written by an author out of Chicago named Cynthia Pelayo. She just won the Bram Stoker Award last night for her poetry, which is cool. And I guess is what like as long as I'm and it's a great book, by the way, it's it's about a woman who's, like, kind of obsessed with folklore, with old horror movies. And her husband is a homicide detective who is investigating a bunch of weirdly cult related murders. It's it's really interesting. And it's a nice mix of elements. So anyways, that's that's really the main one. The rest of this stuff is like I haven't seen any really horror movies or anything like that. I don't know. How about you?
Josh
It's a new. Movie The the directors name is DW Medoff it it's his feature film debut, it's called Pollen. It's.
John
Oh yeah, yeah.
Josh
Yeah, it's, it's good. It's super low budget and it it's kind of a I, I don't know if you're familiar with the mumble core idea of movies, it's very mumble core, very, very low budget like it you. You can see it in there. And it and it doesn't pull itself all the way out of the the low budget slums of like. Where it could be. Rated But it it it gets a little. Bit out of there. There's actually some some meat on the bones and it's it's an interesting watch. In some ways. It's kind of problematic. It would probably be better if. It was written and directed by a a woman because it's very much like a **** **** and me too, and a status quo in the workplace type of deal. I'd recommend watching it. I think it's only available for rent, so I would recommend y'all go out there, throw a few dollars on it, give a a new upcoming creator a a little, a little extra spending cash for and encouragement for their next project. It's it's good like they're they're trouble. I'm not, I'm not. Qualified to to say whether or not it portrays things like that in a good way, so it's very possible that the. Like did his research had, like, consultants, that made sure that this was done the right way? It's just like they're little parts of me. That's like I suspect maybe this. Could have been done. Better, but I don't know, but it was enjoyable to watch.
John
Well, I I I I hadn't seen it and I. Mean saw that it was. Out there and it looked interesting. So yeah, now I'll definitely watch it.
Josh
Yeah, it's really good. And so my TV just died, right? Right. Right before our we recorded our last episode. And I got a replacement. And I actually. It, like the old one, was 4K, but it was one of those like, not really 4K things. And this one is actually 4K with the O LED. And the first thing that we watched on, well, the first thing I watched on it was a old system of a down music video which looked like trash because it was from like 2004. And then we watched King of the Hill. So it was like we're not really doing this TV justice. So we watched Ant-Man. And it's ******* gorgeous on this TV. It like, I'm gonna try to watch as much as possible on there. I'm gonna have to see if I can get my headphones on there, because watching stuff on a really actually high quality screen TV is amazing. It's it's a game changer for real, yeah. Yeah, like with that other TV, like when we got it. And watch stuff on. It I was like ohh neat. It's big and then. With this one I'm like. Ohh look I can see. Stuff moving and ah, it's good. Yes, that's it's.
John
Yeah, it's a totally different experience when some when something shot in 4K it it, it looks different. I mean it. The motion tracks different and you know the the the the level of clarity is is like like it's yeah. Like you do see a lot of things you wouldn't see otherwise, but it's just. It's almost like you're looking through a damn window.
John
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's.
Josh
And sometimes some of the things even look a little bit weird, like like on old British TV shows where, like it, it's got like that weird blurry effect. It kind of does that sometimes, but it's still good. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I kind of hate it, but most of the time it's very rad. And what are we watching? Next time, John.
John
Now, next time we're watching a movie that is heavily influenced by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is fine with me if you pull it off, it's a A I believe it's an Indonesian film called Maccabe. And it's directed by Timo Jazz Zanto or something like that. I can't pronounce his name. He did some of the VHS stuff. He did my my personal favorite VHS film, the one with the Crazy murder cult that summons a demon.
Josh
I see, yes.
John
I love that film. He made that. We also made some of. Those like super high violence tower type movies, you know, like he kind of got in on that thing you. Know where the. Guys are that kind of world. He did some. Of that stuff too.
Josh
Was was he involved in, like the raid redemption?
John
He might have been. I can't remember the connection I'll have. I'll look it up for the next for the for when we recorded. But the movie itself is it's like a bunch of young people in a van and. They basically you're out in the middle of nowhere and it breaks down and they get taken to this house, which in this case is like this big Gothic kind of mansion, and it's run by this matriarch and her weird family. And yeah, it turns out that they're just like, murderous cannibals. And it is ******* over the top and amazing.
Josh
Oh yes, I haven't looked up anything about it, but that that sounds ******* great. Do we there? Have you seen it recently? Are there anything that we can warn our fans about?
John
Well, it's extremely violent and the violence is.
Speaker
John
Is yes, it's over the top, but it is. It is pretty, you know. I mean it's very graphic like it's, you know, there's insane amounts of blood and stuff like that, but it's just and and and then the situations that the violence is presented in are are pretty intense. I mean, so it's it's a very unflinching movie which is kind of his thing. But he's a he's kind of a gonzo guy, but it's a lush film. So, yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Josh
I'm looking forward to it and I hope you, our listeners are looking forward to it as well. We will be releasing the episode where we cover that in two weeks. So do watch it cautiously so that you can keep up with us because we're so good at what we do.
John
Ohh we are state-of-the-art and in the meantime I'm sorry that you all have to take a bath in Chianti. Acid.
94 episodios
Todos los episodios
×Bienvenido a Player FM!
Player FM está escaneando la web en busca de podcasts de alta calidad para que los disfrutes en este momento. Es la mejor aplicación de podcast y funciona en Android, iPhone y la web. Regístrate para sincronizar suscripciones a través de dispositivos.