Our Need to Be Right - Why We Want to Win the Argument

Inside My Canoehead

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Being wrong, disproved or otherwise having our ideas challenged is uncomfortable. We prefer to exist in a world where we are surrounded by those who hold similar views, creating an echo chamber, missing some valued positions in society.
This is based in psychology, we believe in ourselves, we hold a place in an imagined hierarchy, we want to be seen as a positive force in the world. We want to speak to ideas and have everyone nod, we do not wish to have those ideas opening challenged and debated, or are we generally accepting of the idea that we may in fact be wrong, or at least have cracks in our argumentative foundation.
This belief in the need to be right, to be correct stymies our discourse, we listen to win, to defeat what others say, versus listen to understand why they believe what they do.
We do not consider or accept the possibility that our positions, some held for a significant period of time are false. We've lost the ability to fend for ourselves, to argue and lose. Maybe you and I are wrong, maybe our belief is incorrect - those statements are rarely held. We discuss.

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