Shabbat Sermon: Rough Patches with Rabbi Wes Gardenswartz

From the Bimah: Jewish Lessons for Life

Abe and Sarah have been happily married for more than 60 years. They share children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. One fine day, Sarah says, Abe: I’d like a banana sundae. Would you please go to JP Licks? Of course! It would be my privilege! What kind of banana sundae do you want? Abe, write it down. A banana sundae has a lot going on. Would you please get me three flavors: chocolate chip, Oreo, and cake batter. Then whipped cream. Lots of hot fudge. With a cherry on top. Abe, write it down. I don’t need to write it down. I’ve got it. Off he goes. Thirty minutes later, he comes back, smiling and triumphant. Sarah, I got you just what you wanted! A dozen hot, fresh bagels. And delicious plain cream cheese, which you always love. Abe, I told you to write it down. I told you you’d forget. I don’t want plain cream cheese. I want cream cheese with scallions.

This is an old joke that my father in love used to tell, but the older I get, the more I realize that this joke is no joke. This joke has a deep pathos. The pathos that Abe is not the person he used to be. The pathos that Sarah is not the person she used to be. The pathos that their decline does not have an answer or a happy ending. The pathos that their children, grandchildren and caregivers are increasingly going to be called upon to help get them through their days safely. The pathos that their life is going to be changing in ways that they would not have chosen and cannot control.

Abe and Sarah’s 60-year love story has complexity to it. A lot of joy. A lot of love. A lot of rich shared history. A lot of what matters most in the world. And a lot of pain and loss. How do we think about the totality of their story—and of ours? How do we make sense of not only the happy parts but also the rough patches?

This morning we are trying to make sense of two things that have their own cycle, their own rhythm, their own ups and downs—and that at first blush do not seem connected but in fact deeply are. The first is Through the Decades membership in Temple Emanuel for folks who once celebrated their Bar or Bat Mitzvah here, as an adult or as a teen, and are still connected to our community. The second is the outburst of hatred on college campuses directed against Israel and the Jewish people.