327 | The Science of the Brain, Emotionally-Focused Parenting, and Creating Moments of Intimacy (Kyle Wester)

DadAwesome

Kyle Wester joins us to unpack the science of your kid’s brain—from birth to adulthood. You’ll discover how connection shapes their emotional development and why sincere apologies pave the way for deeper intimacy in your relationship.

Key Takeaways

• Your anger says more about you than your kids.
• The brain has three key developmental stages: brainstem, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex.
• To move out of the limbic system, you need connection.
• Have high expectations while offering high support.
• Emotion-focused parenting is an inside-out model that reflects what God does with us.

Kyle Wester

Kyle Wester is a licensed professional counselor and Parenting Coach who has been working with children for over 20 years. Kyle and his wife, Sarah, are founders of Parenting Legacy and host The Art of Raising Humans podcast. They have been married for 22 years and have three children.

Key Quotes

• 6:28 - "Success for us, when I look at my kids and I know that we are doing it well, that we are succeeding as parents, is when I see the fruit of the spirit easily pouring out of their daily life. What's neat is when you tie that in to the brain science, all of us as human beings, when we are at our best and we are really able to show up, be seen, bring more light to a dark place, it's when we're in the prefrontal cortex. And what's interesting about the prefrontal cortex is I can only get there when I feel safe and loved."
• 9:31 - "I have super high expectations on my kids. I really believe that every place they are is going to be better because they are there. And if for some reason that isn't happening and I'm noticing that, then me and my wife are wondering what is the supports my kid needed in that moment to be able to really shine the way God intended them to in that moment?"
• 26:02 - "This shows us how God has wired us and why the Christian disciplines are so effective, is because when we pray, when we meditate, when we worship, when we do these exercises that have been known throughout church history to be healthy and effective for us, we're answering these questions. We're connecting to somebody outside of us, who's whispering to us, you are safe. You are loved. And then once you get to the prefrontal cortex, the question is, what can I learn? You're basically saying, how can we do this together? How can we change this situation? I just picture God coming with an open hand and us coming with a closed hand, and He stays calm with us. He comforts us until our hand opens up. And then our hands can come together and we can really solve that problem together."

Links from Today’s Conversation

• Get 15% off the DadAwesome Store During the Mother’s Day Sale
• Parenting Legacy Counseling & Coaching
• Email Kyle Wester at [e-mail]
• The Art of Raising Humans Podcast
• The Aro Podcast
• 257 | When you Change Your Relationship with the Phone, You Change Your Relationship with Everyone Around You, Including Yourself (Joey Odom)
• Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson
• Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
• Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
• No-Drama Discipline by Daniel Siegel
• Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel
• The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel
• Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen
• The Opposite of Worry by Lawrence Cohen

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