172. The 4 types of families we help in our senior placement service

Aging in Style with Lori Williams

After 17 years in senior living, I've witnessed thousands of families navigating the emotional rollercoaster of finding the right care for their loved ones. Through it all, I’ve come to identify the 4 types of families: the deniers, the always-yes, the dysfunctional family, and the guilt-ridden family. And believe me, just about everybody fits into one category!

· The family in denial: This family doesn’t want to admit their loved one needs help or makes excuses for their behavior. They’ll often say they’re fine (when they’re not) and delay making a decision. Maybe they shut down when they become overwhelmed. Unfortunately, this can lead to disastrous results, so it’s important to weigh your options, of which there are many. Don’t ignore the signs your family member might be having trouble.

· The always-yes family: This family is quick to agree to anything and may not take the time to carefully consider all options - or the best fit for their loved ones. Many senior communities are great, but it doesn’t mean it’s great for your specific situation. Be sure to ask questions and understand the needs of your loved one. A local, reputable placement service can also help guide you.

· The dysfunctional family: This family has conflict and disagreements, mostly among the siblings, which can make it difficult to agree on a decision about senior living. Maybe one sibling is in denial and the other is fully onboard with moving their loved one to senior living.

· The guilt-ridden family: This family feels guilty about moving their loved one into senior living and may wait until there is an emergency before making the move. It’s not always easy changing your loved one’s routine, but their health is the most important factor.

Be aware of which type of family you have and the role you’re playing within it. Take the time to carefully consider all your options before making a decision about senior living. And I preach this all the time, you don’t have to do this alone, so consider working with a local placement specialist to help find the best fit for your loved one.

Topics discussed:

- Denial and guilt

- Senior living considerations

- Family feuds and disagreements

- Family dynamics

- Senior living placement services

- Family therapy

- Senior living as an act of love

Takeaways from this episode:

- If your mom lost weight or seems more forgetful, don’t put your head in the sand. Start putting together a plan, keeping in mind you have options.

- Senior communities aren’t one size fits all. Understand what your loved one needs and choose a community that best meets those needs. Placement services can help guide you.

- If you’re at odds with a loved one about how to care for your senior, consider using a therapist to help mediate and get on the same page.

- Don’t let guilt keep you from keeping your loved one safe. Change is hard but often necessary for safety.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

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131. 5 reasons to use senior placement services, plus 3 determining factors to choose the right one:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/cedd6e34/131-5-reasons-to-use-senior-placement-services-plus-3-determining-factors-to-choose-the-right-one