My life is a tragic story of late. I have always had a interest in Child pornography my whole life. When I had a kid of my own, I thought those feelings might change. Now I realized they will never change. I think about my own child at times in a sexual nature and I don’t know what to do... I have worked in the Cannabis, Mushroom and illicit drug business. Peddling things fro E, meth and of recent Fentanyl and doing drugs seems to be the only release my mind receives from thinking of children in a sexual nature. I used to go down to Tijuana to fulfill my needs but, my wife caught me, when I was searching for Child sex rings in Tijuana to visit on my computer and has not filed for a divorce. She says I need help and I know i need help. I need to get off the drugs and I need to stop thinking about little children in a sexual manner. I have tried all sort of counseling and help and nothings has stuck. Every might I just think about the sweet and innocent skin of a child. I am turning to god now in an effort to try to save my life.