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Subscribe for over 170 more episodes! podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe Clinical psychologist Dr Samantha Rodman Whiten (DrPsychMom.com) discusses relationships, sex, family & parenting with no BS. NEW BOOK: amzn.to/3SLBD. Unpopular opinions: don't overfocus on kids, physical touch is the most important love language, and marriage issues are due to BOTH partners. Therapy/coaching with me or my team: bestlifebehavioralhealth.com. NOT medical advice. Join my secret FB gr ...
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The ubiquity of internet porn has made many men think in unhealthy ways about married sex. Kinky or new activities are not the norm for most married couples, except on special occasions. Thinking about sex as a life activity, similar to exercise or eating, can be a very healthy way to reframe sex if you've had a history of porn use or have been tol…
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Some people think that "highly sensitive" means highly difficult. Get a pen and paper to take the highly sensitive person quiz I'll read you for the first few minutes and listen to everything I tell you about HSP's... you DON'T have to walk on eggshells around them! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsych…
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What would your most confident friend say to your husband/wife about their rude or dismissive behavior, if this friend was married to them? Using this lens can give you a real wake up call and deeper motivation to change how YOU let people treat you! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscrib…
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This can also explain the U shaped happiness curve! Buckle up and listen if you're in or expect to be in your 40's or 50's :) Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "What Are The Two Components Of A Happy Marri…
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Here are some very important red flags when looking for a partner after divorce!! Essential listening if you are dating! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "What Are The Two Components Of A Happy Marriage?"…
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An internet comment so wildly off base that it needs its own episode! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "What Are The Two Components Of A Happy Marriage?" For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've…
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On the internet, people are reading that if you have any type of neurodiversity then your brain is just different and you shouldn't be expected to "mask" to try and "pass" as neurotypical. This makes some people say they are neurodivergent so all touch or intimacy is off the table. Wait what? Listen for my take on this idea.Subscribe if you love th…
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And what does this do for your marriage and especially your kids? Related to a prior episode on when your wife is only fun when she drinks. And also: what's the analogue for women whose husbands drink? Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! M…
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If you communicate in a negative, sulky, passive, or anxious way, then it's no wonder your wife responds poorly. With this one magic phrase, you can transform your dynamic, or at least put it on the right track! All about how to communicate differently and how you can set your wife up to succeed! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcaste…
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Some guys are upset that their wife no longer dresses up or gets her hair dyed... here's a whole episode going deep into this idea and potential ways to think about it. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "I…
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Common sense advice that many people ignore in favor of "but they saw what NOT to do!" Today's episode dives into why pattern recognition is important... and then a twist ending! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber e…
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When recovering from the end of a difficult relationship is particularly difficult for you, e.g. you keep obsessing about it, keep blaming the other party, and are unable to focus on moving forward, you are likely missing a key piece: going back into family of origin. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsy…
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It used to be that each spouse doing what they were best at was an accepted and even extolled strategy. Now, there is an idea that the man needs to be able to do what the woman does as well as his own stuff. This is mainly applicable in situations where the woman struggles with untreated or undiagnosed anxiety or depression, and is the avoidant par…
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If your needs are being met by other people/activities during dating, you may not realize that your partner isn't as good of a fit as you imagined! Then when these external variables change, you fall squarely into the disillusionment stage. What do I mean? Listen to find out. Buy my newest book! Couples You Meet In Counseling: 7 Common Relationship…
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There's a huge difference between how a woman acts before and after kids, which is evolutionarily mediated! Listen to ensure you aren't expecting contradictory things... the mom you wanted your kids to have but the girlfriend she used to be.Buy my newest book! Couples You Meet In Counseling: 7 Common Relationship Dynamics That Sabotage Closeness: h…
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I’ve discussed in many places that porn use is not helpful for marriage, particularly in cases where there is a libido disparity and partners are trying to come closer to one another’s levels. In this post I will address a phenomenon that many women describe in therapy, which is how differently their husbands act when they are using porn, why this …
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Many clients of both genders struggle with the decision of whether to get divorced before or after the kids leave home. There are pros and cons to each decision, discussed on today's episode! Straight talk as usual. Buy my newest book! Couples You Meet In Counseling: 7 Common Relationship Dynamics That Sabotage Closeness: https://amzn.to/3WQoA8X Su…
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Most men find it very useful to learn about responsive desire, which means needing to be touched in order to get excited. This is the kind of desire women generally have within monogamy after the honeymoon stage, and contrasts with spontaneous arousal, or being excited even before touching happens. When these men understand that responsive desire k…
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So many people who grew up in dysfunctional homes have no idea how to connect to their partners in a playful and sweet way without doing some huge gesture that can't be done very often (e.g, an expensive meal out). In this post I discuss a few little ways to make your partner feel loved, especially if you struggle with romance or daily connection! …
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In my wealthiest clients, the only metric that makes sense of what is meaningful is time. Since you can't buy more time, here are ways people try to approximate doing just that, and the ways of being that are associated with this realization. Buy my newest book! Couples You Meet In Counseling: 7 Common Relationship Dynamics That Sabotage Closeness:…
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Many very anxious people are consumed with fear of their own potential devastation or inability to cope if a bad thing were to happen to them. Some examples include: What if my partner was unfaithful or left me? What if my partner died? What if my child got ill? What if I was no longer physically attractive? What if I die earlier than expected? And…
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This is stuff that securely attached people know from their upbringings and the rest of us have to learn. Can be a game changing paradigm shift! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "Her Lack Of Desire Isn't …
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Emotional labor isn't the problem guys. This term is so widely misused it's nuts. Here's who uses it and why. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "Everything Does End, Sorry To Tell You." For my secret Facebook group, the "best m…
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Many clients I see are unaware that they are anxious, which is why I write so many posts about how to recognize your anxiety. As I’ve often discussed, I grew up in an anxious home and have seen firsthand how anxiety is passed down through generations. This is why a mainstay of my clinical work is anxiety, including helping people recognize it and u…
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Many people can't put themselves out there and do scary things... until they figure out a motivator that makes sense to them. For many parents, this is their kids. For women, specifically, kids can help you try hard things in your career. And for men, the kids can be your motivator to be more emotionally present in your family. Also: how I use this…
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Some people have very few social relationships and almost nobody, or truly nobody, that they feel close to except for their partner (and kids). Here's how this sets you up to fail in your marriage, and how to work on it for the betterment of yourself and your family! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and…
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This episode dispels the myth that you are the sole reason that she doesn't like sex with you anymore. Here is a pep talk with concrete points to try if this is your situation... and don't worry, this doesn't mean you're "bad in bed"!Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus e…
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Expectations steal your joy and sabotage your relationships. In this episode, I discuss how unrealistic expectations and comparison points hurt your self-esteem, your relationship with your kids, and your marriage. And then I add in stuff about friendships for good measure! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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A book review of Bill Perkins' Die With Zero! Really interesting philosophically, and dovetails well with a lot of the internal work my clients do every day in session! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drps…
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A helpful reframe for empathy! What was your mom like at the age that you're expecting your wife to act so sexual, exciting, and dynamic? Probably not acting that way either. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sho…
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There are ALWAYS dating options! Here's what the internet tells you and why it's wrong. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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I did a little video about this and I'm expanding on it in this episode... presenting the CCF (Child, Coworker, Friend) Reframe for how to think about your marital problems! This is easy to remember and can be a huge reality check if you think that you are behaving well in your marriage but you're still having issues for some unknown reason. Subscr…
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Highly Sensitive People (HSP) definitionally feel things more intensely than others. Does this mean that HSP women are likelier to leave? Here's what I've seen in my practice! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show…
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Here's a terrifying thought... what if your wife had veto power over your work schedule??? Actually... this may be the best thing that ever happened to your marriage, and here's why! Also covered: who this works for and who it doesn't work for. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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Many guys think that doing chores or childcare together is inefficient, so they try to "optimize" by "dividing and conquering" chores, errands, gym time, and more. Then they are surprised when after many productive hours apart, their wife is not happy to reunite but feels disconnected and distant. Here's how to understand this and what to do instea…
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If you think your relationship doesn't feel "right" in some way, this is the episode for you. Relationship OCD is linked to anxiety in general, and can mean any obsessive thought about a relationship, including whether you are right for each other, whether your partner preferred a previous partner, whether YOU may have been better suited to someone…
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What does anxiety look like in men? This discusses ways that anxiety shows up in males, as opposed to females, and can be a lightbulb moment for you! Listen up if you're rigid, difficult, have back or stomach pain, or your wife "walks on eggshells" around you!! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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In the Facebook group, someone was upset by a life choice that a friend made that didn't impact this person directly. Why do people get triggered by situations that don't involve them? Why do we get upset if someone makes a choice different from ours? And what can you do if this is always happening to you? Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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Often, moms are harder on daughters and dads are harder on sons. Why does this happen? When is it okay and when does it become a problem? And what to do if you fight about this in your marriage! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotif…
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A commenter made a really smart analogy between post-ovulation phase for women and post-nut clarity for men. This episode can really lead to an epiphany that transforms your understanding of your wife! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.…
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Why do some guys send dick pics? Why do some guys not understand foreplay? Why do some guys grab their wives' boobs out of nowhere? What does all this have to do with empathy? Buckle up and get your learning hat on! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https:…
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If you ask your wife too many questions, she doesn't want to have sex, talk, or be on the same planet as you! People ask questions compulsively for two main reasons... listen and learn what they are! Also: what to do instead. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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Certainly, desire decreases after the honeymoon stage, due to the biological end of the "drunk on new love" feeling. At this point, too many guys just blame biology for their wives not wanting sex. While I've spent a lot of time focusing on the biological changes, sometimes you're doing stuff that no woman in her right mind would find appealing. Li…
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When people struggle with anxiety, depression, or rigidity, they can become terrified of doing anything new. This anxiety is not directly expressed, but comes out as judgment or criticism toward anyone who is perceived as trying to "force" them to do something new, or even think about something in a new way. What's an excellent way to treat anxiety…
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Should you just agree with your partner? What if you don't really agree? If you struggle with this question and you've ever used the word "yes man," this episode is a dive into how you grew up and why it's affecting your relationships now. Also: how to reframe "not agreeing" in a way that will help you get along with most people.... even if just ag…
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Listen for my impression of The Young Woman Who Thinks She Can Change The Avoidant Man... such a common archetype that it deserves its own episode! Plus... what to do if you married this guy. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/…
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I recently wrote a Facebook post saying that if a guy didn't get laid the week after Mother's Day, he probably didn't hit it out of the park the way he imagined he did. Some angry men said that sex shouldn't be a reward. As this was not at all what I meant, it made me think about which men would interpret this post this way and what that framing me…
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This can be a really hard transition if you're an HSP! Listen and learn if you've thought that the decrease in honeymoon stage hormones has been worse for you than your partner or vice versa! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh…
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Possibly my most interesting episode ever. Gotta listen to her first question and then you'll get a small taste of what insight oriented therapy is all about... I saw a very interesting pattern in what this listener asked and her prior question. People who martyr themselves to difficult partners... this is for you! Subscribe if you love the DPM sho…
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As promised, the companion to the prior episode about what women want! If you didn't see a healthy marriage growing up, it can be hard to understand what men want. Researching this stuff online can bring you to internet rabbit holes that get you further away from the relationship you want. Today, I discuss what healthy men want from their wives. Se…
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