What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices. My mission isn't just to help people overc ...
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RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery
NLP master life coach, Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach, FDN-P
RecoverU is a podcast where we talk about sex addiction, betrayal trauma, mental, emotional and physical health, faith, and anything and everything needed to RecoverU to your most authentic self that God created you to be.
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My name is Bulumko Papu (you can call me Bullz). This is a podcast about porn addiction recovery. Here I talk about tips and tricks that can help you on your recovery journey. Ill be sharing my story and the things I've learnt in my own journey as well.
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Anger and porn addiction—what do they have in common? At first, it might seem like the answer is nothing. But think about it: how many times have you been angry, and shortly afterward found yourself relapsing on porn? Or maybe you felt stressed or frustrated after a hard day at work, only to come home and slip up. Doesn’t the shame you feel after w…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. SAST test: https://psychology-tools.com/test/sast If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page …
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What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction,…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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74: Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching Porn
30:50
Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies. One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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73: Porn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically Effective | Recovery Mindset Statements to Quit Porn
34:46
Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn? Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there… But what I am going to give you is:…
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87 - 3 Lies That Can Keep Us Stuck
1:01:57
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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72: Break Barriers to Quit Porn | 4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through Them
32:50
You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is). In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery. Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need t…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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71: Relapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While Traveling
43:04
Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach. One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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70: What to Do When Your Wife is Triggered | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage When You Have a Porn Addiction
51:15
If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out ho…
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83 - Empathy From and FOR the Betrayed and Addicted
1:11:37
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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69: Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story of Healing Through Empathy & Compassion
24:54
In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to. This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough. It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of…
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What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn? What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it? What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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67: My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me - What Do I Do? | Side Effects of Porn Addiction in Marriage and Finding Sexual Healing
40:14
“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”... If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar ecli…
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66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession
57:37
Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can: Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life. Feel truly sexually satisfi…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?” In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step syst…
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78 - Shattered Trust, the Emotional Landscape of Betrayal
1:05:52
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends wh…
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77 - Love After Healing: A Redemption Story
1:27:41
1:27:41
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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63: Relapse: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach
38:36
You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years …
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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62: Stop Thoughts that Cause Porn Addiction | The 5 Levels of Cognition Behind Porn Cravings
42:56
If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn. A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn. That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re …
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75 - The Healing Power of Mentorship as Part of Recovery
1:02:56
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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61: Make Friends with the Addict Part of Your Brain | Quit Porn Using 3 Evidence-based IFS Principles
35:55
Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effect…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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In this episode we discuss how and why group support and 1:1 coaching or therapy is so helpful for both the betrayed partner and the addict to experience deeper healing. 1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here …
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When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of …
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Today is part 4, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. In this episode we discuss the benefits of journaling, how it helps bring awareness to patterns, assists in recovery, and benefits long term health. 5 year journal: https://www.levenger.com/products/5-year-journal?variant=425373…
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Today is part 3, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. Many of these tools are created or inspired by Dr. Ted Roberts who created the Conquer Series which we highly recommend. You can purchase this resources or join a group at PureDesire.org In this episode we discuss creating the 3…
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58: How You Can Enjoy Work More - According to Brain Science | Chris Reavis
1:12:41
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One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships. In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relat…
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Do you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?” There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his sp…
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Today is part 2, of a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. Many of these tools are created or inspired by Dr. Ted Roberts who created the Conquer Series which we highly recommend. You can purchase this resources or join a group at PureDesire.org In this episode we discuss the benefits o…
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If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life. In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can buil…
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Today we begin a 5 part series on daily tools and resources to use to move from discovery, to sobriety, to recovery. In this episode we discuss technology blockers, a daily scales used to begin identifying sobriety risk and recovery status, and the feelings wheel which assists in expanding our vocabulary around our experiences. Blockers we personal…
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watch Patrick’s testimony starting at 38:21 https://www.youtube.com/live/rirnsSLaYcw?si=I7aPoJ34MBsL42nD Where to begin: For betrayor: 1) Find a CSAT in your local area https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 2) If that's not possible, find a CSAT or sex addiction therapist or coach that works virtually (here are some starting places) www.pured…
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Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn. I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction. I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addicti…
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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54: Trauma, Attachment, Shame & Porn Addiction | Jeanine Gardner
1:43:36
1:43:36
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Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction. In this episode we cove…
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