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Today on Creating Real Marriage that Last, Darrel and I discuss memorizing Scripture. Most of the time when a Scripture has become significant to us, it’s become significant in a moment of time. Then, when you see that passage again, you remember that moment. You remember God’s faithfulness. Scripture is everywhere—our phones, computers, bookshelve…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I discuss an alternative theory on the “Dones.” Nones are those who will say they have no faith affiliation at all. Dones have faith in Christ, but they are not involved in local church body. One of the things the church has failed to do is call people to this grand adventure of faith. Our peop…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last we discuss the topic of technology and distraction specifically as it relates to the church. Andrew Sullivan recently wrote an article called “I Used to Be a Human Being” for New York Magazine, and it’s sparked interesting conversations for many. He talks about how the church should become a place of rest …
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about how I miss my mom. I have coffee with her five or six times a week, but it’s not the same as it used to be. It’s been almost two years since we moved mom up here after her diagnosis with Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia. People ask me how my mom is doing and my standard answer is, “She’s bet…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I discuss vision statements and how to move them from simply being a big idea to a practical guide. Companies and individuals often develop vision statements to help drive the direction they’re going. But, vision isn’t all you need. Having a vision statement is only the beginning of the process…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I discuss the ways our digital and social media driven culture affect the church and how we approach reaching people in this new reality. The Tennessean reported in June that 3/4 of their readers were exclusively mobile users. There are also more mobile users in the church. People are going to …
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss the upcoming election. In this election there is not a clear “Christian” candidate. Neither of the major parties has been intentional about winning the vote of evangelicals. It’s important to remember that we’re not the first group of Christians to be in this situation. The church has always li…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about my 25th anniversary as Senior Pastor at Brentwood Baptist Church. We talk about some of the leadership lessons I’ve learned over the years, including some of the things I’d tell the version of me that started here 25 years ago. I also share about what excites me most about the year…
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On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I discuss the new sermon series on the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. I love this story. It’s the story of how Joseph endures it all, but he doesn’t let his circumstances define his behavior. What Joseph knew, despite all the circumstances around him, was that God had made a…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I talk about how leaders should respond to moments of crisis. The first step is to be mindful that bad things are going to happen, and they’ll happen in your neighborhood. While we may not know the specific nature of the crisis, we must accept the reality that it will happen. You don’t have tim…
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On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, Darrel and I talk about how to gain clarity as a leader and determine how to focus your time and effort. When you’re a young leader, you think your job is to make everybody happy. So, you say “yes” to everything, but this ends up hurting you, your family, and even the people you serve. As you …
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about TED talks and how they relate to preaching. TED talks initially began as an opportunity for leaders in technology, entertainment, and design to get across new ideas in 18 minutes. Now there are TED talks in all disciplines. They have redefined the genre of public speaking. There ar…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about the kind of leader I am. I’ve been the pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church for nearly 25 years. The reality is I’ve pastored 4 or 5 different churches, all at the same address. The church I pastor now is very different than the church I came to. I’ve grown with the church as each ne…
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On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss falling in love again and again. Jeannie and I have been married for over 36 years. When you’re on the journey of marriage for that long, change is part of it. That’s one of the beautiful things about a committed marriage—you see each other grow. On this episode we also discuss wha…
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On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss how different Jeannie and I are. Early in our marriage we fought a lot about our differences. I was self-centered and wanted her to be just like me. Everything changed when I began to truly pray for Jeannie. Jesus showed me He had a purpose in creating her exactly the way she is. I…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, we discuss what happens when Millennials run the workplace. A lot of the millennials are really good at stuff I don’t know anything about. But I’m learning that if I want to continue to be effective, I have to let them teach me. When I’m working with a Millennial, I start from a position of hu…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, we discuss why setting aside time for prayer, reflection, and quiet is so important. We all have demands on our time, but no one was more needed than Jesus. Even with all that others required of Him, He made it a habit to disappear for quiet moments of prayer with His Father. The world is not …
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we talk about the importance of not forgetting about the future. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the never-ending list of things we have to do right now, that we literally forget there’s a tomorrow. You also have to balance looking ahead at the future with investing in your relationships now—especially…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we’re talking about the priceless gift of your full attention. If you’re spending time with your spouse or your children, and you’re trying to do something else at the same time, you’re not giving them your full attention. It’s not possible to multitask and do multiple things well at the same time. So, we…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss two great lies we’ve been told by our culture. The first lie is we can be anything we want to be. The reality is that there are things you’re good at and things you’re not, and that’s OK. We all have limits. The second lie is that you can be anything you want to be if you just work for it. That…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about giving gifts to your spouse. Guys have trouble with this. A lot of guys feel guilty about spending too much time at work and allowing their priorities to get messed up. So, they buy a really nice gift once a year, thinking it’ll make everything better, but it actually makes things …
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Today on Creating Real Marriages That Last, we talk about the importance of a healthy view of ourselves. Often we’re so afraid of being prideful that we have gone to the other side and now fail to love ourselves at all. To fail to love ourselves is to discredit the Artist. God introduces Himself in Scripture as an Artist. His crowning creation is h…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss some of the reasons I’ve chosen to step down from my role as the leader and teaching pastor of Kairos. I’ve been part of this young adult ministry since it began 11 years ago. However, a few years ago I began to realize it was time to pass the leadership on to another person. Now, Chris Brooks h…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I are discussing Millennials in the workplace and church. There is a growing weariness among young adults. They’ve seen the disappointment of their parents in their careers, money, and relationships. So now they’re looking for meaning and want to follow their passions to make a difference in th…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we’re talking about the idea that the first seminary was in the home. Look at the story of Apollos in Scripture. Priscilla and Aquila brought him in and discipled him in their home. This idea is reinforced when we talk about the reality that parents are the first disciplers of their children. I learned to…
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On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo Girardier and I discuss new year’s resolutions. Mine for this year is simply “Less is more.” My big thing is to determine how much can I get rid of and eliminate so that I can make space for the things that really matter. We also talk about the church in the new year, including my bigg…
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In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo Girardier and I talk about Christmas. We discuss traditions and helpful ideas for celebrating Christmas with your family. Make sure you’re celebrating Christ, not the big celebration culture presents to us. Prioritize a worship experience somehow, whether it’s a Christmas concert, a Chris…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we talk about how you can build your spouse's confidence. You should be an expert on who your spouse is and what he or she does well. Notice your spouse’s gifts and encourage him or her in those gifts. When you compliment or praise your spouse, it has to be grounded in reality. Nothing is more damaging th…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss working with young adults. I’ve had the privilege of leading young adults at Kairos every Tuesday night for over 10 years. Before this ministry began, I had no idea the amount of hurt these young adults are carrying around. I was looking at them thinking they have the whole world, but they’re j…
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In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we talk about young adults living who are living with parents. It’s a much more common occurrence than it used to be. When I was growing up, the idea of a young adult moving back in with parents wasn’t even a thought to me. To be fair, there are a lot of different dynamics happening for young ad…
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Today’s Creating Real Marriages that Last podcast is an excerpt from a sermon I preached in 2010 about God’s original plan for marriage. These days people study all the keys to having a good marriage, but at times they've missed the forest for the trees. We've become so consumed with the “how” of a good marriage, that we’ve missed the “why” of marr…
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Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I talk about Millennial parents. Studies tell us that many Millennials are choosing to wait to have children after they are married. This generation knows what was missing in their own lives and now crave stability more than anything. They’re rejecting what they saw in their families. So, they …
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss “what a real man knows.” I often remind young men that in marriage, women are not looking for a boy to raise. They look for someone who knows who he is and is confident in his own skin. They also look for someone who has a plan for his life and can provide for his family long term.…
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In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss how to “divorce-proof” your marriage. In our culture, we see people approaching marriage more like a dating relationship. A couple gets married, and then we hear that they broke up. It happens with celebrity all the time and often just seems like the norm. But, realize that just becaus…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss how to fight fair in marriage. The point of an argument is to solve a problem. So often, a couple gets into the middle of a fight and it becomes about power or ego or something else. But the issue never gets resolved. You always have to keep the focus on the issue at hand. We’ll di…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about how it’s natural that couples adjust how they make their lives work together through different seasons of life. Some of this happens weekly as you check in with each other. Sometimes it happens when one spouse sees a need for an adjustment and brings it up. For instance, when my …
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss the reality that marriage is never 50/50. A great marriage is always the husband giving 100% and the wife giving 100%. The secret that I’lll tell you is, you always have to come up with 200%. That means sometimes a season in marriage requires one spouse to give 140% because the othe…
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On today’s episode of Creating Marriages that Last, I share some thoughts on what your spouse needs to hear from you every day. A wife needs to hear that her husband loves her and why. A husband needs to hear his wife respects him and the reason why. That’s the difference between a husband and wife. Each is created to need and want a different kind…
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In today’s episode of “Creating Real Marriages that Last,” I share with my co-host Amy-Jo Girardier about the myth of finding balance between work and life. Unlike eastern philosophy, upon which the idea of “balance” is based, the biblical understanding of life is much more linear. The picture of life as a journey is much more accurate. At differen…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I discuss how to spiritually lead your children. I often say that children “catch” what you say much more often than they listen to what you actually tell them. You can’t teach them to become someone you’re not. You must be the example to your children. My dad taught Sunday School …
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In this episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I discuss the reality of having to become a parent to your parents. Recently, I moved my mom closer to where I live. To say I moved her is an understatement; I drug her to Nashville. I don’t think she’s forgiven me yet. She may never forgive me. It's been a challenging transition for …
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about the importance of continuing to “date” your spouse after you’re married. For the husband, this might mean calling your wife up on Monday and asking her out on a date for the weekend, or bringing home flowers for her just because. Doing these things not only strengthens your marri…
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In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, I talk about the role of the church in caring for widows. One of the great things about the gospel is it gives us a new family. And one of the ways we see this is through the “adoption” of widows into families within the church. Many women who have lost their husbands don’t have any other fam…
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