Manage episode 290647079 series 2796983
If you’ve found yourself feeling not-so-into sex - like you yourself never have the urge, and like even when your partner initiates, you’re not interested… but you wish you were, this episode is for you.
And if you’re the partner who does want to have sex, whether you try to initiate or you’ve heard “huh-uh” so many times you’re too discouraged to ask again… We need to have this conversation.
And I want you to know that even though in movies and on tv shows, everybody seems rarin’ to go, all the dang time -- even the harried sitcom couples with kids coming out their ears -- out here in the real world, you two are not alone if you find that one or both of you are singin’ the “want-to-want-to-but-to-be-honest-I-don’t” blues.
Today’s episode will help because I’m going to introduce you to an important distinction straight out of my Sex Ed for Grownups Course.
This one notion - I call it the 3 Yeses - is responsible for COUNTLESS sexual encounters between married couples and partnered couples that would not have otherwise happened! And you’re next!
It will allow you to go from “no way” to “okay” to “NOW!”
It will allow you to initiate in ways your partner will respond to warmly… and perhaps, given time, with PASSION
And it will give the two of you a better vernacular with which to communicate about your level of willingness to talk about the possibility of having sex.
In this episode we talk about:
- Why sex is like exercise, and how we can build and rehabilitate our habits for each
- The 3 yeses you and your partner might have, even if you aren’t in full-blown arousal mode
- What to do when you’re feeling each level of “yes” AND you recognize that being sexual with your partner would be of value
- How to engage with your partner in each state