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Radio Citrus #28: Miss Cleo’s body cast into the L.A. River
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As we head away from two political conventions, I really don’t bother with Trump or Hillary. I’m sick of it. You are sick of it. We have many months to go. And like Kardashians, we’re probably going to continue to compulsively force-feed ourselves every second of the general election, even if it makes us feel sick to our stomachs.
R.I.P. Miss Cleo
I was once watching Bill O’Reilly, back in the early 00s when I was paranoid a terrorist would show up any minute and fly an airplane into my Walmart store. During the commercial break, either the Fox News Channel or DirecTV shoved in an ad for Miss Cleo. She would read magical cards to tell me who my baby’s daddy is (spoiler: it wasn’t me, a germane reference for the time).
She’s dead now. And I don’t mean her business, which was shut down by a Bush-era Federal Trade Commission on a technicality. I mean she’s really for real dead. And that makes me feel a little bit sad.
I don’t believe in magic, as this episode clearly demonstrates. But she did lead me to produce on of my very first Flash cartoons, as a way of parodying (and making fun of) her terrible commercial. That exercise in “creativity” (air quotes) contributed to my cascade of events that lead to YTMND and eventually this podcast and my career of the last ten years.
Kayak on the Los Angeles River
Eww. Ewwwwww!
This is a thing. And no, the L.A. River is not a river you want to do anything with, except quickly drive past on a freeway overpass. Yet, there are these jokers who think they are in Seattle or something and take boats into the nearly-empty cesspool to show fellow boaters an “ecology tour.” And now it might kill you.
Hot Advice from Hot YouTube Channels
It’s pretty pointless to get political advice from official channels. Cable news is already married to its candidate. The candidates themselves are hacks. And your fat uncle is, well, your fat uncle. You can listen to him if you want, but I wouldn’t bother.
Instead, I dive deep into YouTube to find hot opinions from vlogs with fewer than 100 views. I would be remiss to not bring up Trump, Hillary, or Brexit. So I let these lonely vloggers have at it.
Fruit Roll-Ups Aren’t Exciting Anymore
I am growing older. You are growing older. It’s a quarter-life (or third-life) crisis, which was triggered in the breakfast snack section of my local grocery store. It lead me to drink this can of flavorless sparkling water and complaining about Lady Gaga. Also, there’s a new Sonic the Hedgehog game coming out, so there’s that.
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