Expectations with Denise

Living Connected - NVC

It is winter break and I am able to get to editing more. My goal is to not be putting episodes out once a month. I am hoping I will have some more time during work to work on my podcast as I am not at the Behavior job anymore. If you have any questions about expectations and would like to send me an email please I would love to hear from you. Email: [e-mail]
I am happy to be doing this episode with Denise today. We have a juicy topic for us that will probably end up being several episodes. We are going to explore or what Denise said was play around with ‘expectations’. The definition that Denise used in group was, an expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. Often times with the feelings that come up with demand energy of expectations of us, ourselves or someone else could arise in shame, frustration, disappointment and or feel stress that we have failed or let someone down. Perfectionism could come into place, where we self-blame because we didn’t do it correctly. The demand energy could look like the tone of energy of something being said by someone or the words that we use toward ourselves or others - such as shoulds, or have to’s. This demand energy doesn’t allow for choice, autonomy, self-empowerment and or freedom etc.

I did mention in this episode a couple books that used the model collaborative problem solving and the first book that describes this method is called Lost and Found. All the books are by the same person. I will put the books in the references for you incase you are interested. I definitely believe that NVC can be integrated and used along side of these methods that are used in school systems. And in my thought putting NVC with any modality only strengthens the ability to connect on deeper levels.

I know the topic of expectations is loaded and I hope that we will get to examples that you listeners can relate to. This episode uses examples that I have noticed in the schools I have work in. I think that it also pertains to how we saw expectations as a child growing up as well. And maybe it brings up some of those expectations that are engrained in us from when we were small humans. I know it has brought up aliveness in me. Let’s dive in.

Resources:
LOST AND FOUND BY: Ross Greene

LOST AT SCHOOL BY: Ross Greene

THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD BY: Ross Greene

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